Being the "older woman" by just a few years?

[Anonymous]

Do you see any issues with a long-term relationship/marriage when the woman is a few years (e.g., 3) older than the man? For example she is 42 and he is 39.

I am in this situation now (we're both divorced with similar age kids), and I see potential for a long relationship, although he has made a few jokes about me being older and maybe I'm slightly self-conscious about it.

[Anonymous]

I think you should stay single for a while and work on your own stuff.

[Anonymous]

3 of my sisters are married to younger men. One is 3 years younger, one is 4 years younger and one is 10 years younger. These are long term relationships and my sisters are in their 50's. When you love someone, age is just a number. My dh's bday is one month before mine. We are the same age but, for that month, I call him a cradle robber. Sounds like your guy is joking around. 3 years isn't a huge difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:3 of my sisters are married to younger men. One is 3 years younger, one is 4 years younger and one is 10 years younger. These are long term relationships and my sisters are in their 50's. When you love someone, age is just a number. My dh's bday is one month before mine. We are the same age but, for that month, I call him a cradle robber. Sounds like your guy is joking around. 3 years isn't a huge difference.

OP: that's great to hear. Did they all meet their husbands in 20s/30s, or later? I guess I worry about aging, like if he will look younger than me, or want to go for a younger woman, but that is my own issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:3 of my sisters are married to younger men. One is 3 years younger, one is 4 years younger and one is 10 years younger. These are long term relationships and my sisters are in their 50's. When you love someone, age is just a number. My dh's bday is one month before mine. We are the same age but, for that month, I call him a cradle robber. Sounds like your guy is joking around. 3 years isn't a huge difference.

OP: that's great to hear. Did they all meet their husbands in 20s/30s, or later? I guess I worry about aging, like if he will look younger than me, or want to go for a younger woman, but that is my own issue.

I noticed men who marry older women tend to look older themselves than usual. My colleague’s husband is 41 I shocked when she told (always thought he was 48 or so)

[Anonymous]

I have a much greater age gap with my spouse, so for me a few years is nothing. You are essentially the same age as your partner, OP.

[Anonymous]

I have this with a wife 2 years older.

Biggest issue is her decline in sex drive as we got older. I get that happens I'm many long term relationships but I have to wonder if I married typical 3-4 years younger whether I would be dealing with this.

It sucks beyond imagination

My only other friend who married similarly has same situation.

If just dating, go for it.

[Anonymous]

The one guy I know who was married to a woman almost exactly three years older got divorced after about five or six years and two kids. He is now remarried to a woman 14 years younger. Sort of went from one extreme to another.

[Anonymous]

I don't see any issues at all. I am 6 yrs older than my husband. We are 49 and 43 now, have been married for 14 years. Coincidentally, my SIL (his sister) is 5 years older than her husband, and his paternal grandmother was also 5 years older than his grandfather. All are fine marriages AFAIK.

[Anonymous]

Non-issue

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't see any issues at all. I am 6 yrs older than my husband. We are 49 and 43 now, have been married for 14 years. Coincidentally, my SIL (his sister) is 5 years older than her husband, and his paternal grandmother was also 5 years older than his grandfather. All are fine marriages AFAIK.

PP, I am usually one that jokes about ages. It turns out that my husband and I lived close by when we were kids and regularly visited the same playground. When people ask if we knew each other then, I say that I wasn't really looking at the sandbox.

[Anonymous]

There's so much wisdom and healing in that old saying "Age is just a number... and your number is high."

[Anonymous]

Married my husband when I was 34 and he was 30. It wasn't an issue for us. Can't speak for anyone else though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:3 of my sisters are married to younger men. One is 3 years younger, one is 4 years younger and one is 10 years younger. These are long term relationships and my sisters are in their 50's. When you love someone, age is just a number. My dh's bday is one month before mine. We are the same age but, for that month, I call him a cradle robber. Sounds like your guy is joking around. 3 years isn't a huge difference.

OP: that's great to hear. Did they all meet their husbands in 20s/30s, or later? I guess I worry about aging, like if he will look younger than me, or want to go for a younger woman, but that is my own issue.

They were in their 30's. They picked good men who adore them.

[Anonymous]

Best guy I dated was 2 years younger than me, will go up to 4 years younger. Though I do wonder like a previous poster what would happen if I marry younger, go through menopause and have little interest in sex, how that would end up.