My first grader is really into sports and not getting a chance to shine due to his age

[Anonymous]

He has a great baseball birthday. He will be one of the oldest. Their year starts may 1, so he’d be playing against kids a grade younger.

[Anonymous]

I think the issue is that you're putting your kid in competitive "try out to make the team" sports at age 7. First grade, FFS. Stop the madness. No wonder he's getting down; you clearly place too much emphasis on this and he feels like if he's not the best you'll be disappointed.[/

No, he wants to be involved. It’s just more competitive at his age because the majority of sporty kids that are his grade peers and friends are a year older. Ifs not madness.

I am a different poster. My son's birthday is in August, he went to school on time, and he is in the 20th percentile for height and weight for his actual age (not grade). Your focus is not productive for a seven year old. The focus should be on having fun, improving, doing your personal best and being a good teammate, not "shining." Otherwise, it is going to be a long road. My son plays a different sport (soccer), but as with anything competitive, there are times when you will be up and things will be going great, and there are times when you will have some struggles.

[Anonymous]

It varies sport to sport. My son is one of the youngest in his grade, but travel soccer is by birth year, so there are kids a grade below him on his same team.

However, even when he played rec (which was by grade at the time, not sure that is the case now), he wasn't worried about "shining." He has fun, and likes to help his team to do well, which I think is the correct focus.


When does travel soccer start?
How far do you travel for games?

Pre-travel starts for kids with 2016 birthdays. Regular travel starts at U9 (2014 birthdays).

We don't travel that far - furthest has been an hour and a half. More competitive travel teams go further.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I think the issue is that you're putting your kid in competitive "try out to make the team" sports at age 7. First grade, FFS. Stop the madness. No wonder he's getting down; you clearly place too much emphasis on this and he feels like if he's not the best you'll be disappointed.[/

No, he wants to be involved. It’s just more competitive at his age because the majority of sporty kids that are his grade peers and friends are a year older. Ifs not madness.

I am a different poster. My son's birthday is in August, he went to school on time, and he is in the 20th percentile for height and weight for his actual age (not grade). Your focus is not productive for a seven year old. The focus should be on having fun, improving, doing your personal best and being a good teammate, not "shining." Otherwise, it is going to be a long road. My son plays a different sport (soccer), but as with anything competitive, there are times when you will be up and things will be going great, and there are times when you will have some struggles.

I have to agree. This sounds like madness. Your kid is 7!!!! They are likely not going to be the second coming of Babe Ruth, or Messi, or (insert superstar in the sport). And if they are, then they will in fact benefit from being around older, more skilled kids. See if you can find a league/sport/team where the emphasis is on having fun, improving skills, and working damn hard. Being a "star" should not even be in the equation. Unless they end up being among the very best in the world, there will always be someone (or lots of someones) that are better than them. The important thing is that they keep working hard to get better; the competition is with themselves, not with other kids.

[Anonymous]

Just depends on your peer group. It’s not really madness where we live where sports are competitive at an early age. He’s pretty self motivated but after playing as the youngest for years it would be nice to play in the middle and not always up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So he can't stand out unless he's the absolute oldest? A really athletic kid should be able to hang with kids a year older. Many kids play up in sports an age level if they are really good. But, he's 7, it doesn't sound like you are accurately assessing him at this point.

As I said, he’s the youngest kid to make it so he has been keeping up with kids a full year older, but if you take two kids playing a competitive team you have to try out for, it’s likely the older kid has an advantage. A year makes a big difference at this age.

I don't know what it's like in your area, but our travel baseball league goes by a May-April grouping. So your child with a June birthday would be one of the oldest in his age group, whereas mine with an April birthday is the youngest. I know you said your LL is strict with ages, but I believe most still allow several league ages within any one particular level. For example, in our league, kids who are League Age 10-12 can all play Majors, so you get bio age 9 year olds (LA 10 in LL, though) playing with 12.5 year olds (LA 12) in the same Majors level.

[Anonymous]

Just depends on your peer group. It’s not really madness where we live where sports are competitive at an early age. He’s pretty self motivated but after playing as the youngest for years it would be nice to play in the middle and not always up.

The fact that more people in an area are doing something doesn't make it less of a bad idea/insane.

[Anonymous]

He’s pretty self motivated but after playing as the youngest for years it would be nice to play in the middle and not always up.

Sure, but that's not the reality of his situation right now, so the focus should be on resilience.

[Anonymous]

He's doing great. Get him private lessons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I think the issue is that you're putting your kid in competitive "try out to make the team" sports at age 7. First grade, FFS. Stop the madness. No wonder he's getting down; you clearly place too much emphasis on this and he feels like if he's not the best you'll be disappointed.[/

No, he wants to be involved. It’s just more competitive at his age because the majority of sporty kids that are his grade peers and friends are a year older. Ifs not madness.

I am a different poster. My son's birthday is in August, he went to school on time, and he is in the 20th percentile for height and weight for his actual age (not grade). Your focus is not productive for a seven year old. The focus should be on having fun, improving, doing your personal best and being a good teammate, not "shining." Otherwise, it is going to be a long road. My son plays a different sport (soccer), but as with anything competitive, there are times when you will be up and things will be going great, and there are times when you will have some struggles.

+10000

[Anonymous]

This is something you complain about to your best friend or spouse and never discuss with your child. Focus on having fun, trying hard, that’s it. If they get discouraged, they will give up and never be as good. My DS is a late summer birthday, one of the youngest in his grade. Other kids on his team who were almost a year older had better motor skills for a while. But he kept trying and continued to improve. Then he shot up and now he’s taller and stronger than most kids on his team. If we fed into his frustration, he would have given up. Not that everyone will be tall, but the differences get smaller as they get older and based on when kids go through puberty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just depends on your peer group. It’s not really madness where we live where sports are competitive at an early age. He’s pretty self motivated but after playing as the youngest for years it would be nice to play in the middle and not always up.

Sounds like something a pageant mom would say. Just because you're surrounded by bad parents doesn't mean you have to participate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is something you complain about to your best friend or spouse and never discuss with your child. Focus on having fun, trying hard, that’s it. If they get discouraged, they will give up and never be as good. My DS is a late summer birthday, one of the youngest in his grade. Other kids on his team who were almost a year older had better motor skills for a while. But he kept trying and continued to improve. Then he shot up and now he’s taller and stronger than most kids on his team. If we fed into his frustration, he would have given up. Not that everyone will be tall, but the differences get smaller as they get older and based on when kids go through puberty.

Many of the youngest kids are never going to shoot up or go through puberty first. My daughter is 30th percentile and will likely always be so looking at our genetics. As the absolute youngest in her grade and on most sports teams, she looks both smaller and younger. If she had a birthday a few weeks later she'd be the oldest on the team and look larger than at least 50% of her teammates. She'll never be the biggest, but she also wouldn't be the smallest.

It does stink. Life isn't fair.

[Anonymous]

He has a great baseball birthday! The cut off is April 30. So he’ll be one of the oldest on his baseball teams as he gets older and they stop doing it by grade. Don’t worry about the bigger kids pounding the ball. Just have him work on technique. These kids will be so used to getting hits by chopping their swing that they dont all develop proper technique. Your kid will thrive once they get bigger and have technique.

[Anonymous]

I don't think your kid is as good as you think, OP. Mine plays a travel sport is the youngest on every team he's been on, and always outshines everyone else, including kids who are 1-2 years older than him.