My first grader is really into sports and not getting a chance to shine due to his age

[Anonymous]

We live in an area that’s really sports focused and my child (7) has been playing in sports year round. He is consistently the absolute youngest on every team as he is a June birthday where it is uncommon to go on time. He’s fairly good (was the absolute youngest for 2 all star sports on the entire roster of 100 kids, had to be selected based on try out or times) BUT the issue is he’s getting down because he just doesn’t have an opportunity to shine playing against so many older (and athletic) kids that often lap him a year since so many kids stay back. When does this situation shake itself out? At what age do they start being assessed by their age or grouped by age and not grade? Little League is the same situation where he is one of the youngest but he’s not playing with kids mostly a year older because they are strict with birthdays.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, for my kid, but middle school, his self-esteem was so crushed by this factor, that he really decided he would always be the average kid. It only got worse in high school, because honestly, those boys grow so much in 9th and 10th grade that that age difference really makes even more of a difference. I assume your kid just turned 7? Otherwise, in fact, he would be old for first grade. If it's that important, hold him back. If I had to do it over again with my late June kids, I would have.

[Anonymous]

Swimming has a June 1st cutoff. Encourage him to do that.

[Anonymous]

This varies sport to sport. You need to name the sport. I have a July birthday who went on time. He is right in the middle for soccer where they play by birth year, the very youngest in lacrosse where they play by grade, and every other year he’s the very oldest in summer swim.

If he made All Star he is doing fine. It’s more important that he learns to hustle than that he “shines” at this age.

[Anonymous]

Agree this is really an issue of the sport. Soccer and lacrosse handle this very differently as pp said. Fencing is another one where it goes strictly by birthday not grade.

[Anonymous]

Does he notice the age difference or have you pointed it out? If you have been pointing it out, I would stop.
Also, he's only 6. I am more concerned that he needs to "shine" and isn't just playing to have fun. 6 year olds are all over the place in terms of development and development comes in spurts.

[Anonymous]

I’m confused. Little League is strict with ages and has 2-year age groupings. Every other year, he’ll be in the older half (the younger end of that half, but older than most teammates).

[Anonymous]

My kid has the same problem, OP, with an end of August birthday. She'd love to play AAU basketball but her birthday is literally the day before the cutoff. I've been working to talk her into a different sport with a more favorable cutoff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m confused. Little League is strict with ages and has 2-year age groupings. Every other year, he’ll be in the older half (the younger end of that half, but older than most teammates).

Our league does it by 12 months. Kids in his grade that were held back can’t play with him (if they are summer 2014 birthdays, just finished 1st they have to play with kids who are going into 3rd) so he’s young for that but everyone is within 12 months.

[Anonymous]

My Nov child is naturally one of the older kids in school, but in soccer, the cut off was by calendar year, and he was the youngest in a 2-year span. Next year he’ll be in the middle. I would focus more on helping your child understand that some kids on the team have more experience. In some sports, there is leeway to sign up for a particular group/skill level. But really, I think the life skill is accepting the situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This varies sport to sport. You need to name the sport. I have a July birthday who went on time. He is right in the middle for soccer where they play by birth year, the very youngest in lacrosse where they play by grade, and every other year he’s the very oldest in summer swim.

If he made All Star he is doing fine. It’s more important that he learns to hustle than that he “shines” at this age.

Yes he did make All Star. So for instance he’s consistently making the try outs to play with the kids held back in his grade so he’s playing with kids who are also athletic but lap him about 11 months. He’s not quite as good and makes comments because all things equal if you take an athletic 7 year old next to an athletic 8 year old who is going to be better? He doesn’t really understand the age thing, he just sees himself as not as good as his peers who are the kids in his grade that he knows and tends to play with. Soccer is done by grade as well in our area at this age.
Is it a club soccer you’re doing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My Nov child is naturally one of the older kids in school, but in soccer, the cut off was by calendar year, and he was the youngest in a 2-year span. Next year he’ll be in the middle. I would focus more on helping your child understand that some kids on the team have more experience. In some sports, there is leeway to sign up for a particular group/skill level. But really, I think the life skill is accepting the situation.

Yes, I had some of the same questions as everyone else. My kids played baseball and softball, and they were always in a "young one year, old one year" cycle. If he is really good, you can ask for him to be moved up. Happens all the time in my town. (Though sometimes it depends on who you know. )

[Anonymous]

So he can't stand out unless he's the absolute oldest? A really athletic kid should be able to hang with kids a year older. Many kids play up in sports an age level if they are really good. But, he's 7, it doesn't sound like you are accurately assessing him at this point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid has the same problem, OP, with an end of August birthday. She'd love to play AAU basketball but her birthday is literally the day before the cutoff. I've been working to talk her into a different sport with a more favorable cutoff.

I’m sorry! It’s tough for the kids that don’t have birthdays that favor the cut off especially in areas that are very competitive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So he can't stand out unless he's the absolute oldest? A really athletic kid should be able to hang with kids a year older. Many kids play up in sports an age level if they are really good. But, he's 7, it doesn't sound like you are accurately assessing him at this point.

As I said, he’s the youngest kid to make it so he has been keeping up with kids a full year older, but if you take two kids playing a competitive team you have to try out for, it’s likely the older kid has an advantage. A year makes a big difference at this age.