How to tell sahd he needs to get a part time job

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no way in hell this thread would be going the way it is were it a SAHM. The double standard is amazing.

Yes and no.
SAHMs tend to do a lot more than SAHDs.

My kids went to school with a few SAHDs. I noticed the mothers would book and go on the school middle and high school tours, not the SAHDs. Just booking these tours are competitive in NYC.
Upon picking up my son from a playdate at a SAHD household, I saw the nanny (who did the afterschool pickup) doing chores around the house while the dad was laying in bed. I'm not sure what he was doing but he couldn't bother to get up and say hello or goodbye.

I was a SAHM and I know how busy things can be with small children. But after around 10 years old, the kids need you less and less so if you want to be productive and happy thereafter when the kids leave the nest, start to develop a vocation. Bonus: The kids will respect you more.

Way to generalize.

+1
I've known lazy SAHMs. Or SAHMs who did a lot for THEMSELVES, but insisted that they weren't on the hook for housework or errands or anything because they did "childcare," and the kids were in school all day. I also know SAHDs who are very involved and active and carry their weight around the house. The generalizations are silly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no way in hell this thread would be going the way it is were it a SAHM. The double standard is amazing.

Yes and no.
SAHMs tend to do a lot more than SAHDs.

My kids went to school with a few SAHDs. I noticed the mothers would book and go on the school middle and high school tours, not the SAHDs. Just booking these tours are competitive in NYC.
Upon picking up my son from a playdate at a SAHD household, I saw the nanny (who did the afterschool pickup) doing chores around the house while the dad was laying in bed. I'm not sure what he was doing but he couldn't bother to get up and say hello or goodbye.

I was a SAHM and I know how busy things can be with small children. But after around 10 years old, the kids need you less and less so if you want to be productive and happy thereafter when the kids leave the nest, start to develop a vocation. Bonus: The kids will respect you more.

As someone who was a SAHD in the past, let me tell you.. the moms do not want any dad involvement. SAHDs are always outsiders. They smile and say the right things but don't involve you in any of the planning, etc. They will use you for things like "Hey bob, can you pick up the cake" or "can you help hang this thing? You are so tall?" etc. Never, "what should we do for the kids' outing this year?". After I started working again, I stopped volunteering at school events. Let them bit**es figure it out. Just pay my dues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to have an honest conversation with sounding resentful or blaming. But talk about the stress of being the sole income, the desire to have an orderly house, your need for a little time for yourself. And then just say that with the current split of responsibilities, you are feeling very stressed and tired.

But he is doing all the emotional labor. OP needs to start helping out more.