“WFH” for SAHMS

[Anonymous]

I said I retired early (which is true) before it was en vogue. When asked, I shared my career history. I did some pro bono and free lance work in my community, but never brought it up. I managed a historical landmark move and was only approached by others because the donator added my name to a plaque at its new location. I was raising my family while also the primary caregiver for aging parents which allowed them to be mostly independent in their home. Also never discussed it. I took a financial hit, but I can lay my head down in peace knowing I did my best for two of the kindest, most selfless people I’ve known. When they passed away, others found out through friends and family. Many that attended the services had no idea I’d been caring for them for decades. No need to wear a badge. All of us make decisions that are best for our families. I bet less people than you realize actually ask. When you’re insecure in your choice to SAHM you probably overshare before anyone asks or even cares. Own you choices.

[Anonymous]

My two cents on SAHMs returning to the paid workforce...

Just be direct about your time at home - no need to apologize or embellish. Don't use cutesie titles like Chief Domestic Officer or try to pass it off as WFH (which has a distinct meaning which isn't being a mom to your kids). On your resume, include any meaningful volunteer gigs that demonstrate leadership or use of skills that will apply to the jobs you're applying to. Make sure you have decent technology skills (at least Office - Outlook, Word, Excel, PPT). Include a cover letter and articulate your desire to return to professional life.

The kind of people you want to work for respect the decision to stay home and would rather you just own it - don't apologize, try to dress it up - just focus on your KSAs and what you can bring to the company. There are jobs that require a set of soft skills that you can hone as a SAHM. My kid's sports team manager is a military wife who is a blackbelt organizer, problem solver, soother of butthurt grown ups, attentive money manager, resourceful travel planner, etc. She hasn't worked a paid gig in years but I would hire her in a second.

No need to try to pass off your SAHM time as WFH...that'll just irritate people, me included.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My two cents on SAHMs returning to the paid workforce...

Just be direct about your time at home - no need to apologize or embellish. Don't use cutesie titles like Chief Domestic Officer or try to pass it off as WFH (which has a distinct meaning which isn't being a mom to your kids). On your resume, include any meaningful volunteer gigs that demonstrate leadership or use of skills that will apply to the jobs you're applying to. Make sure you have decent technology skills (at least Office - Outlook, Word, Excel, PPT). Include a cover letter and articulate your desire to return to professional life.

The kind of people you want to work for respect the decision to stay home and would rather you just own it - don't apologize, try to dress it up - just focus on your KSAs and what you can bring to the company. There are jobs that require a set of soft skills that you can hone as a SAHM. My kid's sports team manager is a military wife who is a blackbelt organizer, problem solver, soother of butthurt grown ups, attentive money manager, resourceful travel planner, etc. She hasn't worked a paid gig in years but I would hire her in a second.

No need to try to pass off your SAHM time as WFH...that'll just irritate people, me included.

This is bull shit. A mom is full time work. No need to make up BS like volunteer gigs or coaching teams.

I know most working women think Kooking, Kleaning and Fuking are three cities in China but actually being a SAHM is a 16 hour a day job

[Anonymous]

Is this the new "domestic engineer" label?

[Anonymous]

Imo there is no need to repackage caring for your children full time under another title. Stay at home parent is fine and giving the work a different title will not sway the hearts and minds of people who believe it is not important work.

[Anonymous]

Who would we put down as references?!

[Anonymous]

Staying at home to raise your kids and support your family is important, valuable work. You should not need a more palatable title for the outside world to validate this. I do not get any acknowledgement from the outside world when I take paid time off from my job to volunteer for field day, take kids to doctor's appointments, be present for service calls at my home, etc. Nor does my husband. This is the work of a family. It is either shouldered by one person so the other person can fully shoulder the financial responsibilities for the family, or the responsibility is somehow divided between two people, or in some families one person does both. It's all important and doesn't need to be wordsmithed into something for a one-pager.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My two cents on SAHMs returning to the paid workforce...

Just be direct about your time at home - no need to apologize or embellish. Don't use cutesie titles like Chief Domestic Officer or try to pass it off as WFH (which has a distinct meaning which isn't being a mom to your kids). On your resume, include any meaningful volunteer gigs that demonstrate leadership or use of skills that will apply to the jobs you're applying to. Make sure you have decent technology skills (at least Office - Outlook, Word, Excel, PPT). Include a cover letter and articulate your desire to return to professional life.

The kind of people you want to work for respect the decision to stay home and would rather you just own it - don't apologize, try to dress it up - just focus on your KSAs and what you can bring to the company. There are jobs that require a set of soft skills that you can hone as a SAHM. My kid's sports team manager is a military wife who is a blackbelt organizer, problem solver, soother of butthurt grown ups, attentive money manager, resourceful travel planner, etc. She hasn't worked a paid gig in years but I would hire her in a second.

No need to try to pass off your SAHM time as WFH...that'll just irritate people, me included.

This is bull shit. A mom is full time work. No need to make up BS like volunteer gigs or coaching teams.

I know most working women think Kooking, Kleaning and Fuking are three cities in China but actually being a SAHM is a 16 hour a day job

Volunteer gigs are not BS. Good ones require time and skills that can be relevant to a paid job.
And guess what? In addition to doing our paid jobs, we working moms care for our kids, volunteer, cook, clean, and sleep with our husbands too. We just do it in less than 16 hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My two cents on SAHMs returning to the paid workforce...

Just be direct about your time at home - no need to apologize or embellish. Don't use cutesie titles like Chief Domestic Officer or try to pass it off as WFH (which has a distinct meaning which isn't being a mom to your kids). On your resume, include any meaningful volunteer gigs that demonstrate leadership or use of skills that will apply to the jobs you're applying to. Make sure you have decent technology skills (at least Office - Outlook, Word, Excel, PPT). Include a cover letter and articulate your desire to return to professional life.

The kind of people you want to work for respect the decision to stay home and would rather you just own it - don't apologize, try to dress it up - just focus on your KSAs and what you can bring to the company. There are jobs that require a set of soft skills that you can hone as a SAHM. My kid's sports team manager is a military wife who is a blackbelt organizer, problem solver, soother of butthurt grown ups, attentive money manager, resourceful travel planner, etc. She hasn't worked a paid gig in years but I would hire her in a second.

No need to try to pass off your SAHM time as WFH...that'll just irritate people, me included.

This is bull shit. A mom is full time work. No need to make up BS like volunteer gigs or coaching teams.

I know most working women think Kooking, Kleaning and Fuking are three cities in China but actually being a SAHM is a 16 hour a day job

Volunteer gigs are not BS. Good ones require time and skills that can be relevant to a paid job.
And guess what? In addition to doing our paid jobs, we working moms care for our kids, volunteer, cook, clean, and sleep with our husbands too. We just do it in less than 16 hours.

I’m a working mom but, come on, we care for our kids when we aren’t working. We don’t do everything sahms do in the amounts they do it. They spend 40+ hrs a week doing childcare that we don’t. Disagree with pp though that we can’t clean or cook. We do less of it then sahms do most of the time but we put in that work, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My two cents on SAHMs returning to the paid workforce...

Just be direct about your time at home - no need to apologize or embellish. Don't use cutesie titles like Chief Domestic Officer or try to pass it off as WFH (which has a distinct meaning which isn't being a mom to your kids). On your resume, include any meaningful volunteer gigs that demonstrate leadership or use of skills that will apply to the jobs you're applying to. Make sure you have decent technology skills (at least Office - Outlook, Word, Excel, PPT). Include a cover letter and articulate your desire to return to professional life.

The kind of people you want to work for respect the decision to stay home and would rather you just own it - don't apologize, try to dress it up - just focus on your KSAs and what you can bring to the company. There are jobs that require a set of soft skills that you can hone as a SAHM. My kid's sports team manager is a military wife who is a blackbelt organizer, problem solver, soother of butthurt grown ups, attentive money manager, resourceful travel planner, etc. She hasn't worked a paid gig in years but I would hire her in a second.

No need to try to pass off your SAHM time as WFH...that'll just irritate people, me included.

One of these bolded statements is not like the other

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My two cents on SAHMs returning to the paid workforce...

Just be direct about your time at home - no need to apologize or embellish. Don't use cutesie titles like Chief Domestic Officer or try to pass it off as WFH (which has a distinct meaning which isn't being a mom to your kids). On your resume, include any meaningful volunteer gigs that demonstrate leadership or use of skills that will apply to the jobs you're applying to. Make sure you have decent technology skills (at least Office - Outlook, Word, Excel, PPT). Include a cover letter and articulate your desire to return to professional life.

The kind of people you want to work for respect the decision to stay home and would rather you just own it - don't apologize, try to dress it up - just focus on your KSAs and what you can bring to the company. There are jobs that require a set of soft skills that you can hone as a SAHM. My kid's sports team manager is a military wife who is a blackbelt organizer, problem solver, soother of butthurt grown ups, attentive money manager, resourceful travel planner, etc. She hasn't worked a paid gig in years but I would hire her in a second.

No need to try to pass off your SAHM time as WFH...that'll just irritate people, me included.

This is bull shit. A mom is full time work. No need to make up BS like volunteer gigs or coaching teams.

I know most working women think Kooking, Kleaning and Fuking are three cities in China but actually being a SAHM is a 16 hour a day job

Volunteer gigs are not BS. Good ones require time and skills that can be relevant to a paid job.
And guess what? In addition to doing our paid jobs, we working moms care for our kids, volunteer, cook, clean, and sleep with our husbands too. We just do it in less than 16 hours.

I’m a working mom but, come on, we care for our kids when we aren’t working. We don’t do everything sahms do in the amounts they do it. They spend 40+ hrs a week doing childcare that we don’t. Disagree with pp though that we can’t clean or cook. We do less of it then sahms do most of the time but we put in that work, too.

The only thing a SAHM does that I don't do is provide childcare during the day. I don't have anyone else who cooks or cleans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My two cents on SAHMs returning to the paid workforce...

Just be direct about your time at home - no need to apologize or embellish. Don't use cutesie titles like Chief Domestic Officer or try to pass it off as WFH (which has a distinct meaning which isn't being a mom to your kids). On your resume, include any meaningful volunteer gigs that demonstrate leadership or use of skills that will apply to the jobs you're applying to. Make sure you have decent technology skills (at least Office - Outlook, Word, Excel, PPT). Include a cover letter and articulate your desire to return to professional life.

The kind of people you want to work for respect the decision to stay home and would rather you just own it - don't apologize, try to dress it up - just focus on your KSAs and what you can bring to the company. There are jobs that require a set of soft skills that you can hone as a SAHM. My kid's sports team manager is a military wife who is a blackbelt organizer, problem solver, soother of butthurt grown ups, attentive money manager, resourceful travel planner, etc. She hasn't worked a paid gig in years but I would hire her in a second.

No need to try to pass off your SAHM time as WFH...that'll just irritate people, me included.

This is bull shit. A mom is full time work. No need to make up BS like volunteer gigs or coaching teams.

I know most working women think Kooking, Kleaning and Fuking are three cities in China but actually being a SAHM is a 16 hour a day job

Uh, no, "most" working women do not, in fact, think this. This is one of the most ignorant comments I've seen here in awhile. The casual racism was a nice added touch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are people making this switch? If not, they should. Saying “stay at home mom” has always been only slightly better than “housewife” or “homemaker”. It’s such a disrespectful title that fails to acknowledge the massive role of primary caregivers in our little human section of the universe.

Anyway, I think we should just switch to “work from home”. Whether a woman is sitting in her “office/den/pantry” and ensuring that the section headings are properly aligned and consistently formatted for an insurance company’s lawsuit OR she’s playing with the her in the backyard, either way she’s working from home. Just working on different things.

This also means, in my view, that WFH has the potential to be incrementally anti-patriarchy if it can provide a practical and non-awkward way to blur these lines a bit so women’s choices aren’t so politicized.

I think this would just be really confusing. If someone says they work from home, I might ask them what they do for childcare or what type of work they do. If they answered they took care of their kids, I'd find it an odd way of phrasing it (though I'd be polite). It would be the opposite of non-awkward!

If I didn't ask any follow up, I'd be surprised if I saw them consistently out and about the neighborhood with their children during the workday. (I work from home and see some kids w/nanny's regularly walking to parks from my office window.) A WFH mom, especially one with regular hours for a corporation, has far more in common in terms of day-to-day activities with a WOHM, and generally requires F/T childcare for young kids.. There is a blurred line for parents who are self-employed and don't have regular hours or jobs and who juggle both.

Care work is essential to a functioning society, no matter who does it (parents or paid childcare), and it is indeed work, and I support some extermely progressive viewpoints on this. But "WFH" has an understood meaning, and trying to change that isn't going to fight the patriarchy.

[Anonymous]

These threads so often devolve into a working mom vs sahm discussion. I’ve been both, like many, I’m sure, who have reentered the workforce after staying home with kids a few years. One option is not inherently more worthwhile, impressive, or noble than the other.

Rather than getting clever with the designation of stay at home parent, I say you hold your head up high and respect the work you do raising your kids. There will always be someone who thinks the job you do is dumb, no matter what job you do. Don’t fall into the trap of listening to that noise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are people making this switch? If not, they should. Saying “stay at home mom” has always been only slightly better than “housewife” or “homemaker”. It’s such a disrespectful title that fails to acknowledge the massive role of primary caregivers in our little human section of the universe.

Anyway, I think we should just switch to “work from home”. Whether a woman is sitting in her “office/den/pantry” and ensuring that the section headings are properly aligned and consistently formatted for an insurance company’s lawsuit OR she’s playing with the her in the backyard, either way she’s working from home. Just working on different things.

This also means, in my view, that WFH has the potential to be incrementally anti-patriarchy if it can provide a practical and non-awkward way to blur these lines a bit so women’s choices aren’t so politicized.

I think this would just be really confusing. If someone says they work from home, I might ask them what they do for childcare or what type of work they do. If they answered they took care of their kids, I'd find it an odd way of phrasing it (though I'd be polite). It would be the opposite of non-awkward!

If I didn't ask any follow up, I'd be surprised if I saw them consistently out and about the neighborhood with their children during the workday. (I work from home and see some kids w/nanny's regularly walking to parks from my office window.) A WFH mom, especially one with regular hours for a corporation, has far more in common in terms of day-to-day activities with a WOHM, and generally requires F/T childcare for young kids.. There is a blurred line for parents who are self-employed and don't have regular hours or jobs and who juggle both.

Care work is essential to a functioning society, no matter who does it (parents or paid childcare), and it is indeed work, and I support some extermely progressive viewpoints on this. But "WFH" has an understood meaning, and trying to change that isn't going to fight the patriarchy.

Agreed