Private School suicide and cyber bullying lawsuit - Latin School of Chicago

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is horribly sad and hits close to home as my younger kid is dealing with this right now at school and I don't know what to do. The meanest kids are the ones with the loudest parents who are gossipy and involved in socially engineering their children's social lives. We're going to see a therapist starting next week to help our son and ourselves through this issue.

Get them out of there asap. Don't leave them in a school that they are being bullied in.

Yes please get them out. No school is worth this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is horribly sad and hits close to home as my younger kid is dealing with this right now at school and I don't know what to do. The meanest kids are the ones with the loudest parents who are gossipy and involved in socially engineering their children's social lives. We're going to see a therapist starting next week to help our son and ourselves through this issue.

Get them out of there asap. Don't leave them in a school that they are being bullied in.

Yes please get them out. No school is worth this.

And out the people that are doing it. I think in some ways people need to be more honest about what is really going on because it just perpetuates this horrible cycle and lets these elite schools and families get away with it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.cbsnews.com/chicago/news/15-year-old-boy-cyberbullying-suicide-latin-school-chicago-lawsuit/

The complaint (embedded in news link) here is horrific. Someone in Chicago sent it along.

Anyone know anything?

This is so sad and disturbing. The kids should be charged and all of their names should be made public so no college will ever accept them.

Look on the schools website.
Lots of board members kids…. No surprise.

What?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t know anything about that situation but I think they have a good case.

Our pk-12 private school also does very little for bullying, or about hyper & impulsive kids hurting others, or badmouthing.

Recipients of the bad behavior quickly learn that saying Stop does nothing, reporting to a teacher is met with gaslighting (“no, everyone’s a good kid”), and going to the principals office to straighten it out results in a lying He said /She said debacle plus retaliation.

These schools need to have zero tolerance of nasty behavior, especially when there’s a pattern of it. How many separate complaints do they need?!?

I cannot tell you how many times the last 6 mos I’ve run into other parents whose kids are suffering and need to change friends or plot down names they don’t want in next years homeroom.
Then I ask my kid what’s up or what happened and they confirm the 3-4 nightmare examples of bullying they have witnessed. When I say please tell a teacher they refuse. They say that makes everything worse. Sadly, they may be right. They are also in disbelief since they are in a school that touts its social justice, kindness, and inclusivity mantra. And silence to parents.

This is a contradiction. If you have zero tolerance, you won't know if it's a pattern. I think what you seek is a bullying plan that acknowledges that bullying does happen, identifies and documents patterns (which tales patience--bullies operate in the margins), supports the target of the bullying, creates a culture of upstanders, has clear help pathways and holds bullies accountable for acknowledging, repairing and possible separation if they cannot make meaningful change and reparation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is horribly sad and hits close to home as my younger kid is dealing with this right now at school and I don't know what to do. The meanest kids are the ones with the loudest parents who are gossipy and involved in socially engineering their children's social lives. We're going to see a therapist starting next week to help our son and ourselves through this issue.

What grade??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is horribly sad and hits close to home as my younger kid is dealing with this right now at school and I don't know what to do. The meanest kids are the ones with the loudest parents who are gossipy and involved in socially engineering their children's social lives. We're going to see a therapist starting next week to help our son and ourselves through this issue.

Get them out of there asap. Don't leave them in a school that they are being bullied in.

Yes please get them out. No school is worth this.

And out the people that are doing it. I think in some ways people need to be more honest about what is really going on because it just perpetuates this horrible cycle and lets these elite schools and families get away with it

So, you'd rather keep your kid in a bad situation and allow them to be bullied to prove a point? This is why this kid did what they did... the parents probably had your logic to keep the kids there because its some great elite school. No, they are far better off in another school situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also look up the dads - lots of spoiled kids of hedge fund/finance types.

yep. All are Master's of the Universe types.
Shocking that their sons are a$$-holes. Shocking I tell you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I read the text message strings within the first 40 pages and it’s sad..,the kids wer a little harsh but DB clearly had no social kills and no idea how to respond. A few kids even chimed in to reassure them they weren’t mad at him, that it was all love, etc. it didn’t seem that bad.

I’m heartbroken for the victim’s sister who found him. She was already having a horrible year. From the surface of the complaint, though, I don’t get why the plaintiffs are including her text messages to her mom. She does seem very socially awkward and it’s sad that other kids weren’t friendly to her, but that is different than bullying her.

For a 40k school, you’d think they’d have better mental health and socialization supports in place…at least social skills groups and lunch bunches.

To anyone experiencing anything like this with your child: please do not rely on email. Pick up the phone. Get on someone’s calendar. This is not victim blaming; just an advocacy tip. I’m a school employee and we are deluged with emails. I’m like an emergency room trailer nurse with email. The big, big ones I just can’t tackle right now…then they get buried. It’s not an excuse; just an explanation. If you’re teaching or with students all day, you’re not in front of your inbox all day. In the tiny slivers of time that you have to catch up, that’s a LOT to dump on people.

Mental health and social skills are outside things for parents to do. That's not the school responsibility.

This is what parents of bullies say. Every parent I’ve ever known who had a child that was a bully would talk like this. They victim blame. Of course you can’t force friendships but you can certainly enforce kindness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is horribly sad and hits close to home as my younger kid is dealing with this right now at school and I don't know what to do. The meanest kids are the ones with the loudest parents who are gossipy and involved in socially engineering their children's social lives. We're going to see a therapist starting next week to help our son and ourselves through this issue.

Get them out of there asap. Don't leave them in a school that they are being bullied in.

Yes please get them out. No school is worth this.

And out the people that are doing it. I think in some ways people need to be more honest about what is really going on because it just perpetuates this horrible cycle and lets these elite schools and families get away with it

So, you'd rather keep your kid in a bad situation and allow them to be bullied to prove a point? This is why this kid did what they did... the parents probably had your logic to keep the kids there because its some great elite school. No, they are far better off in another school situation.

No I will take my kid out of the school but I also would let everybody know publicly what the bullies did and their names because I wouldn’t want them to do it to another kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also look up the dads - lots of spoiled kids of hedge fund/finance types.

yep. All are Master's of the Universe types.
Shocking that their sons are a$$-holes. Shocking I tell you.

Why didn't one of the other JV kids stand up for him in the basketball group text message? Are they just so afraid of the asshole boys? I just don’t understand why a kid can’t just say “hey guys let’s drop it OK”? It was clear DB was writing in formal sentence structure without grammatical errors - like the other kids. He wasn’t even on the same wavelength as these boys. Why did they have to pick on someone weaker than themselves when no one else was even watching (was it bc of his stature? Sexual orientation? Rival school? Just bc he was new??) ? For hours and hours? Is that what the complaint said? Five straight hours of texting or did I read that wrong?

It’s just so bizarre and seems like these kids should’ve known better?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also look up the dads - lots of spoiled kids of hedge fund/finance types.

yep. All are Master's of the Universe types.
Shocking that their sons are a$$-holes. Shocking I tell you.

Why didn't one of the other JV kids stand up for him in the basketball group text message? Are they just so afraid of the asshole boys? I just don’t understand why a kid can’t just say “hey guys let’s drop it OK”? It was clear DB was writing in formal sentence structure without grammatical errors - like the other kids. He wasn’t even on the same wavelength as these boys. Why did they have to pick on someone weaker than themselves when no one else was even watching (was it bc of his stature? Sexual orientation? Rival school? Just bc he was new??) ? For hours and hours? Is that what the complaint said? Five straight hours of texting or did I read that wrong?

It’s just so bizarre and seems like these kids should’ve known better?

Yes they are afraid!!!!! I’ve heard of this happening here in DC time and time again they don’t stand up because they don’t want the bullies to turn on them. For adults it might not be easy to understand but for a kid on a team or in that situation you see what they’re doing the one kid you don’t want that to happen to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is horribly sad and hits close to home as my younger kid is dealing with this right now at school and I don't know what to do. The meanest kids are the ones with the loudest parents who are gossipy and involved in socially engineering their children's social lives. We're going to see a therapist starting next week to help our son and ourselves through this issue.

Why don’t people talk about what a real issue this is? The social engineering. The targeting. It’s almost like it’s hush-hush and no school wants to touch it with a 10 foot pole

This!! I have a question which schools have a very strong anti-bullying policy in DC/Maryland area?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.cbsnews.com/chicago/news/15-year-old-boy-cyberbullying-suicide-latin-school-chicago-lawsuit/

The complaint (embedded in news link) here is horrific. Someone in Chicago sent it along.

Anyone know anything?

This is so sad and disturbing. The kids should be charged and all of their names should be made public so no college will ever accept them.

Yes, on mistake when they're 15 years old should f-up their lives forever and ever and ever.... holy cow? Wtf is wrong with you they are all children. They made stupid horrible mistakes. Allow them to grow up and learn. Sheesh. I'm glad the law protects minors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.cbsnews.com/chicago/news/15-year-old-boy-cyberbullying-suicide-latin-school-chicago-lawsuit/

The complaint (embedded in news link) here is horrific. Someone in Chicago sent it along.

Anyone know anything?

This is so sad and disturbing. The kids should be charged and all of their names should be made public so no college will ever accept them.

Yes, on mistake when they're 15 years old should f-up their lives forever and ever and ever.... holy cow? Wtf is wrong with you they are all children. They made stupid horrible mistakes. Allow them to grow up and learn. Sheesh. I'm glad the law protects minors.

I hope you feel that way about teen criminals in DC, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I read the text message strings within the first 40 pages and it’s sad..,the kids wer a little harsh but DB clearly had no social kills and no idea how to respond. A few kids even chimed in to reassure them they weren’t mad at him, that it was all love, etc. it didn’t seem that bad.

I’m heartbroken for the victim’s sister who found him. She was already having a horrible year. From the surface of the complaint, though, I don’t get why the plaintiffs are including her text messages to her mom. She does seem very socially awkward and it’s sad that other kids weren’t friendly to her, but that is different than bullying her.

For a 40k school, you’d think they’d have better mental health and socialization supports in place…at least social skills groups and lunch bunches.

To anyone experiencing anything like this with your child: please do not rely on email. Pick up the phone. Get on someone’s calendar. This is not victim blaming; just an advocacy tip. I’m a school employee and we are deluged with emails. I’m like an emergency room trailer nurse with email. The big, big ones I just can’t tackle right now…then they get buried. It’s not an excuse; just an explanation. If you’re teaching or with students all day, you’re not in front of your inbox all day. In the tiny slivers of time that you have to catch up, that’s a LOT to dump on people.

Mental health and social skills are outside things for parents to do. That's not the school responsibility.

This is what parents of bullies say. Every parent I’ve ever known who had a child that was a bully would talk like this. They victim blame. Of course you can’t force friendships but you can certainly enforce kindness.

+1
Parents who are bullies have kids who are bullies. Only when society stops rewarding this will it change. Harvey Weinstein was very well rewarded during his career and only fell at the end.... there are so many examples of those who've fallen, but more examples of those that just get rewarded. Trump hasn't fallen yet for example...