8.5 year old and video games

[Anonymous]

DS is 8 and he's allowed 30 min during the week and gets more time on weekends. Sometimes he plays minecraft, sometimes he watches youtube videos about playing minecraft (which he says helps him learn about tips/tricks and gives him building ideas).

On the other hand, he also reads books about minecraft and it inspires him to even diagram out his ideas about building minecraft worlds. This weekend, we were out and about and he requested a notepad so he could write down some ideas.

When he plays, he plays online with friends where he's talking with them the whole time (through FB messenger kids app) and so there's the socialization both during, and when he's at school to have something in common to talk about with friends.

So between all of that, I don't think they're a complete waste of time. Helps him socialize and feel he fits in, plus gives him some reading, writing experience on the side. We do have to limit it and do struggle with meltdowns when we shut it down, but we hold firm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it, OP. We were adamant about no video games until my 2nd grade boy said he felt like an outcast. We started allowing Minecraft and only on weekends with the express warning that if he ever didn’t want to play outside or read in favor of video games that the privilege would be taken away. It also limited his other screen time.

I wish they video games didn’t exist. But they do. Such a fricking waste of time.

How is Minecraft more of a waste of time than watching a nature show on TV? Both teach information, but one is passive and the other is interactive and skill building.

Not all modes, versions, or servers of Minecraft are created equal. Your comment makes me think your Minecraft experience is limited.

[Anonymous]

OP, my 8.5yo does well in school, plays sports 3 or 4 days a week, reads a ton and loves nature/science shows.

He has almost no interest in regular kid shows/movies, so gets 30 minutes of Minecraft or Roblox a day after chores and homework are done instead.

It's fine and yes, it's a big part of socializing at that age.

[Anonymous]

3 kids, oldest is a 12 year old boy. 2 girls - ages 10 and 7. I was just like you. Then the pandemic hit. I still didn't allow video games. What I came to find out was that once boys hit a certain age, they socialize over video games. They get on calls and sometimes play games, but other times they just talk, show funny videos, show rubix cubes, and do other fun stuff.
Of course, they see each other in school and get together outside of school. But a big part of boys' lives is video games. I am sure your husband can tell you this. So I totally get at age 8 not allowing them. He will survive. But once they hit 6th/7th grade, it is what the boys are doing.

Girls.... so much more annoying. Will just sit on a cell phone for hours doing nothing. I would much prefer to limit cell phones than gaming - esp interactive ones they can play together like Minecraft.

[Anonymous]

PP - and my kids get top grades and do a ton of sports. I struggle with downtime b/c I find video games to be a huge waste of time. But it is what it is...

[Anonymous]

OP, 95% of kids are fine with video games. Some will struggle with addiction, and you'll need to address it as it comes up. At least you'll know now and will be able to raise your child to handle it once they are in college.

Just have clear boundaries and stick to them, and it'll be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP - and my kids get top grades and do a ton of sports. I struggle with downtime b/c I find video games to be a huge waste of time. But it is what it is...

You should try playing with them.

I always thought it was strange parents are willing to do anything else with their kids - toss a baseball around, play cards, do crafts. But then they completely disregard video games despite them being around for 40 years at this point and clearly being a big part of childhood and beyond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP - and my kids get top grades and do a ton of sports. I struggle with downtime b/c I find video games to be a huge waste of time. But it is what it is...

You should try playing with them.

I always thought it was strange parents are willing to do anything else with their kids - toss a baseball around, play cards, do crafts. But then they completely disregard video games despite them being around for 40 years at this point and clearly being a big part of childhood and beyond.

We have played together a good amount. If asks and we are free, we play with him. It is fun.

[Anonymous]

We set up playdates for kids from the same bus stop after school but other kids refused to come to our house because we don't have video games.

Our son is K and is the oldest. Other kids all have older siblings so the battle for video games were already fought and won (or lost?)

What can we do? Dad don't play games so we don't have box at home. We might last another year but I doubt it.

[Anonymous]

Our kid started playing Minecraft when she was 7ish. We are fairly liberal with screen time though, she is very physically active and will typically drop the screen for almost any other activity. Minecraft helped her practice her reading and spelling. She has dyslexia and were thrilled when she would read and type anything lol. Minecraft is a great game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We set up playdates for kids from the same bus stop after school but other kids refused to come to our house because we don't have video games.

Our son is K and is the oldest. Other kids all have older siblings so the battle for video games were already fought and won (or lost?)

What can we do? Dad don't play games so we don't have box at home. We might last another year but I doubt it.

Oh wow this is so going to be us next year (son is in Pk4 this year and an only child and I am a firm NO on video games). I am also a middle school teacher. I am pleading with you all, please don't give in to video games because your kid 'will be the only one'. They are SO addicted in 6th grade. It's really sad. It's why I won't allow them for my son. If more parents stuck to their guns and realized that there ARE others like you, everyone wouldn't cave into peer pressure. It's like this with social media, too. PLEASE wait until 8th grade at least to give your child a smartphone. I am 'in the trenches' with these middle schoolers (and have been for 15 years) and it actually IS different now than even a few years ago.