8.5 year old and video games

[Anonymous]

DS desperately wants to play Minecraft and other video games that are popular in his school. There are a couple other kids whose parents have drawn a hard line on no video games but we aren’t the majority by any means. He tells me the boys talk about video games all the time and he feels like a baby and left out.

My son is doing so well. Playing sports and getting top grades. He’s reading four grades above his grade and learns so much from watching nature/science shows. He also watches just regular kids shows and movies. He gets enough screen time.

What do you do with your lower elementary kid?

[Anonymous]

Let him play, but only on a computer in a common area of the house, limit his time and revoke the privilege of grades drop.

[Anonymous]

I’m fairly liberal about screen time including video games he has completed homework, sports and/or other outdoor play. It’s the first thing dropped for bad behavior though.

[Anonymous]

Let him play, as long as he is otherwise responsible and completing his other tasks. There is nothing wrong with video games (esp. Minecraft) unless the kid becomes so involved that other aspects of life are neglected.

[Anonymous]

I get it, OP. We were adamant about no video games until my 2nd grade boy said he felt like an outcast. We started allowing Minecraft and only on weekends with the express warning that if he ever didn’t want to play outside or read in favor of video games that the privilege would be taken away. It also limited his other screen time.

I wish they video games didn’t exist. But they do. Such a fricking waste of time.

[Anonymous]

20 years ago, this same discussion was happening among parents over watching the shows you now let your kid watch. There will always be parents who resist, and always kids who feel socially out of the loop and ostracized because of it.

You as a parent have to decide for your family which is worse: growing up on feeling out of it socially or getting an hour of Minecraft on a Sunday so you can participate in normal lunchroom chatter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get it, OP. We were adamant about no video games until my 2nd grade boy said he felt like an outcast. We started allowing Minecraft and only on weekends with the express warning that if he ever didn’t want to play outside or read in favor of video games that the privilege would be taken away. It also limited his other screen time.

I wish they video games didn’t exist. But they do. Such a fricking waste of time.

How is Minecraft more of a waste of time than watching a nature show on TV? Both teach information, but one is passive and the other is interactive and skill building.

[Anonymous]

This might be a little different, because my 8 yo is a girl, but she talks about “all” the other kids at school talking about the video games they play. I’ll say, “oh, do you want to play some video games?” So far, she always says no. If she said yes, I would let her do so on a limited basis, with rules in place, etc. I think making it totally forbidden just makes it more attractive. That said, if my kid showed any sign of getting addicted, I’d stop allowing it altogether.

[Anonymous]

My 8.5 year old plays Minecraft and Sneaky Sasquatch. That's it. Minecraft on an iPad and SS through the Apple video games. I was certainly playing more violent games growing up in the 80s.

We limit it to about 30 minutes during the week if his homework and chores are done. He gets more time many weekends, depending on what we have planned.

He would play and watch TV for DAYS if we let him. So we limit it and redirect him. He's currently doing origami - he's permitted to Google instructions on his iPad.

He chats with his friends about these two video games. He bonded with a 13 year old cousin last week - those are his two favorite games, too. It's definitely helpful for him socially.

We held off on both until this school year. He's a responsible kid and it's important to learn limits and self-control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get it, OP. We were adamant about no video games until my 2nd grade boy said he felt like an outcast. We started allowing Minecraft and only on weekends with the express warning that if he ever didn’t want to play outside or read in favor of video games that the privilege would be taken away. It also limited his other screen time.

I wish they video games didn’t exist. But they do. Such a fricking waste of time.

Np. So tell me everything you do is productive every single moment of the day? I hate people with your attitude. You don't waych tv, movies go to shows?

Video games are fun and with family and friends it definitely is not a waste of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it, OP. We were adamant about no video games until my 2nd grade boy said he felt like an outcast. We started allowing Minecraft and only on weekends with the express warning that if he ever didn’t want to play outside or read in favor of video games that the privilege would be taken away. It also limited his other screen time.

I wish they video games didn’t exist. But they do. Such a fricking waste of time.

Np. So tell me everything you do is productive every single moment of the day? I hate people with your attitude. You don't waych tv, movies go to shows?

Video games are fun and with family and friends it definitely is not a waste of time.

Children’s brains are not like adult brains. To compare a child’s activities to an adults is patently ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it, OP. We were adamant about no video games until my 2nd grade boy said he felt like an outcast. We started allowing Minecraft and only on weekends with the express warning that if he ever didn’t want to play outside or read in favor of video games that the privilege would be taken away. It also limited his other screen time.

I wish they video games didn’t exist. But they do. Such a fricking waste of time.

Np. So tell me everything you do is productive every single moment of the day? I hate people with your attitude. You don't waych tv, movies go to shows?

Video games are fun and with family and friends it definitely is not a waste of time.

Children’s brains are not like adult brains. To compare a child’s activities to an adults is patently ridiculous.

+1. Children are not small adults in any way but most especially in brain development.

[Anonymous]

DS is 9 and has been allowed to play video games, with time limits, since he was 4, Right now he is playing a marble building game on Steam. He plays Minecraft, Mario games, and some others that we allow. He has a limit of an hour a day. The only time he actually hits that is on the weekend and even then not every weekend. Yesterday he didn’t play video games at all, we had other things going on.

He does a rec sport, Scouts, and RSM classes. When the weather is nice, he comes home from school, drops his bag off, and goes to his friends house with the basketball hoop and plays. He comes home and does his homework. He might go back out to his friends house or he might play a video game.

He knows that we will restrict video games if he is upset about not getting enough screen time. His grades are excellent, he choses to do extra math, and he is out playing with friends. We are happy with the balance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:20 years ago, this same discussion was happening among parents over watching the shows you now let your kid watch. There will always be parents who resist, and always kids who feel socially out of the loop and ostracized because of it.

You as a parent have to decide for your family which is worse: growing up on feeling out of it socially or getting an hour of Minecraft on a Sunday so you can participate in normal lunchroom chatter.

This actually isn’t true in my life. I wasn’t allowed certain shows and still don’t allow my kids to watch them.

But a little Minecraft is fine, OP. Play for yourself and see. We’re an anti-violence family and anti-firearm so lots of games and toys are simply not allowed but limited Mindcarft is okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it, OP. We were adamant about no video games until my 2nd grade boy said he felt like an outcast. We started allowing Minecraft and only on weekends with the express warning that if he ever didn’t want to play outside or read in favor of video games that the privilege would be taken away. It also limited his other screen time.

I wish they video games didn’t exist. But they do. Such a fricking waste of time.

Np. So tell me everything you do is productive every single moment of the day? I hate people with your attitude. You don't waych tv, movies go to shows?

Video games are fun and with family and friends it definitely is not a waste of time.

Children’s brains are not like adult brains. To compare a child’s activities to an adults is patently ridiculous.

Sometimes it is nice to have fun and play video games with your kids. You don't have to work your brain 24-7. You can have fun and build memories.