Is anyone else fed up with the “I don’t care” attitude people have developed since the pandemic?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think OP means the newly pervasive attitude of people constantly saying they don't care--particularly on social media. Like, we get it. You don't care. Being an introvert is now glamorized while liking people and being social is considered a type of weakness. I have a cousin who has been saying this since the nineties, we were part of a close circle of friends but she has been since cut out, and guess what, she actually doesn't "not care"!

Care to elaborate? Not about your cousin, everything else.

I work in tech and spend a lot of time reading social media comments. It's trendy right now to go on Instagram, TikTok, etc and say: I don't care about people, I cancel plans with friends all the time, I would rather stay in on a Friday, blah blah. Users typically respond to these sentiments by echoing them, and it's amazing because they act like these are original thoughts, when in fact, everyone is saying the exact same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think OP means the newly pervasive attitude of people constantly saying they don't care--particularly on social media. Like, we get it. You don't care. Being an introvert is now glamorized while liking people and being social is considered a type of weakness. I have a cousin who has been saying this since the nineties, we were part of a close circle of friends but she has been since cut out, and guess what, she actually doesn't "not care"!

I’m an introvert who cares deeply about other people, has good social skills, and makes an effort with others. In fact, I think part of my introversion is due to the fact that I work at being kind and thoughtful towards others. I need alone time to recharge because when I’m with others, I give more than I take.

If people are using introversion to justify being jerks, they aren’t really introverts. They’re just selfish and lazy.

+100

Some people are using "I'm an introvert" when they really mean "I'm a judgemental, anxious, agoraphobic jerk."

I'm an introvert who's living my life. In the early stages of the pandemic, I regularly walked with friends (not 6 feet apart). Then I joined outdoor fitness classes. Then I returned to the gym, saw people indoors with masked. Ate indoors. And progressed until I'm back to normal.

I still need to recharge by myself, at home. I don't need to hang out with people every day or even every weekend. But I have all my shots and value my quality of life. For the people that are naturally more social than me? Cool. For the people that are less? Cool. For the people that are using "introvert" as an excuse to judge people or as a cover for their anxiousness... that's a "you" problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think OP means the newly pervasive attitude of people constantly saying they don't care--particularly on social media. Like, we get it. You don't care. Being an introvert is now glamorized while liking people and being social is considered a type of weakness. I have a cousin who has been saying this since the nineties, we were part of a close circle of friends but she has been since cut out, and guess what, she actually doesn't "not care"!

I’m an introvert who cares deeply about other people, has good social skills, and makes an effort with others. In fact, I think part of my introversion is due to the fact that I work at being kind and thoughtful towards others. I need alone time to recharge because when I’m with others, I give more than I take.

If people are using introversion to justify being jerks, they aren’t really introverts. They’re just selfish and lazy.

+100

Some people are using "I'm an introvert" when they really mean "I'm a judgemental, anxious, agoraphobic jerk."

I'm an introvert who's living my life. In the early stages of the pandemic, I regularly walked with friends (not 6 feet apart). Then I joined outdoor fitness classes. Then I returned to the gym, saw people indoors with masked. Ate indoors. And progressed until I'm back to normal.

I still need to recharge by myself, at home. I don't need to hang out with people every day or even every weekend. But I have all my shots and value my quality of life. For the people that are naturally more social than me? Cool. For the people that are less? Cool. For the people that are using "introvert" as an excuse to judge people or as a cover for their anxiousness... that's a "you" problem.

Exactly this. The term introvert has been appropriated by people who are anti-social but don't like that term. People who have no friends are now calling themselves "introverts."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think OP means the newly pervasive attitude of people constantly saying they don't care--particularly on social media. Like, we get it. You don't care. Being an introvert is now glamorized while liking people and being social is considered a type of weakness. I have a cousin who has been saying this since the nineties, we were part of a close circle of friends but she has been since cut out, and guess what, she actually doesn't "not care"!

I’m an introvert who cares deeply about other people, has good social skills, and makes an effort with others. In fact, I think part of my introversion is due to the fact that I work at being kind and thoughtful towards others. I need alone time to recharge because when I’m with others, I give more than I take.

If people are using introversion to justify being jerks, they aren’t really introverts. They’re just selfish and lazy.

+100

Some people are using "I'm an introvert" when they really mean "I'm a judgemental, anxious, agoraphobic jerk."

I'm an introvert who's living my life. In the early stages of the pandemic, I regularly walked with friends (not 6 feet apart). Then I joined outdoor fitness classes. Then I returned to the gym, saw people indoors with masked. Ate indoors. And progressed until I'm back to normal.

I still need to recharge by myself, at home. I don't need to hang out with people every day or even every weekend. But I have all my shots and value my quality of life. For the people that are naturally more social than me? Cool. For the people that are less? Cool. For the people that are using "introvert" as an excuse to judge people or as a cover for their anxiousness... that's a "you" problem.

Exactly this. The term introvert has been appropriated by people who are anti-social but don't like that term. People who have no friends are now calling themselves "introverts."

Oh okay. Sounds like the extroverts are just mad that their social calendar of endless kids parties are still curtailed. No one cares.

[Anonymous]

I seriously don’t care if people “don’t care”—on social media or otherwise. Plans, no plans, cancelled plans: if they’re happy, I’m happy.

So what does this make me OP? Part of the problem (or the solution)?

[Anonymous]

Personally I learned that a lot of the social situations and activities that people INSISTED were essential for bonding and relationships were absolutely not...essential.

For 1-2 years people put aside big social gatherings, baby showers, ostentatious weddings, weekend play groups, and large date nights. And you know what? The world kept turning.

So no I'm not going back to whatever hectic schedule you demand and if I don't want to attend a random half-birthday for your 3.5 year-old I will politely turn you down because its a BS social gathering just designed to make you look good and irritate me.

I have zero compunctions anymore about telling you about your BS.

[Anonymous]

I thought the OP meant that lots of people are feeling emboldened to do whatever they want, even if it doesn’t follow the rules, more than before the pandemic. Like, everyone realized there are no consequences for bad choices/behavior anymore. People who would previously go and park in the proper lot are double parking and idling and blocking others when they grab their take out because no one is going to stop them and they don’t care if they hold up anyone else. People are scooping up/hoarding resources like rapid tests during omicron bc no one is looking out for the greater community and it’s dog eat dog. People cancel things last minute without actual legit reasons because it’s now acceptable to be flaky and all plans are written in pencil. It’s like people have the freedom to do what they actually always wanted to do all along but the social pressure to consider how this affects others has vanished.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't care about peoples attitudes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think OP means the newly pervasive attitude of people constantly saying they don't care--particularly on social media. Like, we get it. You don't care. Being an introvert is now glamorized while liking people and being social is considered a type of weakness. I have a cousin who has been saying this since the nineties, we were part of a close circle of friends but she has been since cut out, and guess what, she actually doesn't "not care"!

I’m an introvert who cares deeply about other people, has good social skills, and makes an effort with others. In fact, I think part of my introversion is due to the fact that I work at being kind and thoughtful towards others. I need alone time to recharge because when I’m with others, I give more than I take.

If people are using introversion to justify being jerks, they aren’t really introverts. They’re just selfish and lazy.

+100

Some people are using "I'm an introvert" when they really mean "I'm a judgemental, anxious, agoraphobic jerk."

I'm an introvert who's living my life. In the early stages of the pandemic, I regularly walked with friends (not 6 feet apart). Then I joined outdoor fitness classes. Then I returned to the gym, saw people indoors with masked. Ate indoors. And progressed until I'm back to normal.

I still need to recharge by myself, at home. I don't need to hang out with people every day or even every weekend. But I have all my shots and value my quality of life. For the people that are naturally more social than me? Cool. For the people that are less? Cool. For the people that are using "introvert" as an excuse to judge people or as a cover for their anxiousness... that's a "you" problem.

Exactly this. The term introvert has been appropriated by people who are anti-social but don't like that term. People who have no friends are now calling themselves "introverts."

Oh okay. Sounds like the extroverts are just mad that their social calendar of endless kids parties are still curtailed. No one cares.

Nope--we are just happy to have friends and have our kids learn how to properly socialize. No one is mad here, and no is assuming you or any other anti-social weirdo like the other PP angry about parties cares.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think OP means the newly pervasive attitude of people constantly saying they don't care--particularly on social media. Like, we get it. You don't care. Being an introvert is now glamorized while liking people and being social is considered a type of weakness. I have a cousin who has been saying this since the nineties, we were part of a close circle of friends but she has been since cut out, and guess what, she actually doesn't "not care"!

I’m an introvert who cares deeply about other people, has good social skills, and makes an effort with others. In fact, I think part of my introversion is due to the fact that I work at being kind and thoughtful towards others. I need alone time to recharge because when I’m with others, I give more than I take.

If people are using introversion to justify being jerks, they aren’t really introverts. They’re just selfish and lazy.

+100

Some people are using "I'm an introvert" when they really mean "I'm a judgemental, anxious, agoraphobic jerk."

I'm an introvert who's living my life. In the early stages of the pandemic, I regularly walked with friends (not 6 feet apart). Then I joined outdoor fitness classes. Then I returned to the gym, saw people indoors with masked. Ate indoors. And progressed until I'm back to normal.

I still need to recharge by myself, at home. I don't need to hang out with people every day or even every weekend. But I have all my shots and value my quality of life. For the people that are naturally more social than me? Cool. For the people that are less? Cool. For the people that are using "introvert" as an excuse to judge people or as a cover for their anxiousness... that's a "you" problem.

Exactly this. The term introvert has been appropriated by people who are anti-social but don't like that term. People who have no friends are now calling themselves "introverts."

Oh okay. Sounds like the extroverts are just mad that their social calendar of endless kids parties are still curtailed. No one cares.

Nope--we are just happy to have friends and have our kids learn how to properly socialize. No one is mad here, and no is assuming you or any other anti-social weirdo like the other PP angry about parties cares.

Its that entitlement that I'm so glad to put behind me. Half of the activities suggested are so your kids don't end up as mutes drooling in a room of conversational adults. Your problem. Not anyone else's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think OP means the newly pervasive attitude of people constantly saying they don't care--particularly on social media. Like, we get it. You don't care. Being an introvert is now glamorized while liking people and being social is considered a type of weakness. I have a cousin who has been saying this since the nineties, we were part of a close circle of friends but she has been since cut out, and guess what, she actually doesn't "not care"!

I’m an introvert who cares deeply about other people, has good social skills, and makes an effort with others. In fact, I think part of my introversion is due to the fact that I work at being kind and thoughtful towards others. I need alone time to recharge because when I’m with others, I give more than I take.

If people are using introversion to justify being jerks, they aren’t really introverts. They’re just selfish and lazy.

+100

Some people are using "I'm an introvert" when they really mean "I'm a judgemental, anxious, agoraphobic jerk."

I'm an introvert who's living my life. In the early stages of the pandemic, I regularly walked with friends (not 6 feet apart). Then I joined outdoor fitness classes. Then I returned to the gym, saw people indoors with masked. Ate indoors. And progressed until I'm back to normal.

I still need to recharge by myself, at home. I don't need to hang out with people every day or even every weekend. But I have all my shots and value my quality of life. For the people that are naturally more social than me? Cool. For the people that are less? Cool. For the people that are using "introvert" as an excuse to judge people or as a cover for their anxiousness... that's a "you" problem.

Exactly this. The term introvert has been appropriated by people who are anti-social but don't like that term. People who have no friends are now calling themselves "introverts."

Oh okay. Sounds like the extroverts are just mad that their social calendar of endless kids parties are still curtailed. No one cares.

Nope--we are just happy to have friends and have our kids learn how to properly socialize. No one is mad here, and no is assuming you or any other anti-social weirdo like the other PP angry about parties cares.

Its that entitlement that I'm so glad to put behind me. Half of the activities suggested are so your kids don't end up as mutes drooling in a room of conversational adults. Your problem. Not anyone else's.

Huh? What problem? DH and I are friends with couples whose kids play with ours and it works out great for everyone. All our children (who are toddlers/infants) will grow up learning how to socialize and with hopefully strong bonds of friendship as well. It's how I grew up--I have such fond memories of the band of girls whose moms were friends with my mother. Admittedly, DH and I are social and love our friends and extended family, but I do struggle to see even how an anti-social weirdo would see something like this as problematic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think OP means the newly pervasive attitude of people constantly saying they don't care--particularly on social media. Like, we get it. You don't care. Being an introvert is now glamorized while liking people and being social is considered a type of weakness. I have a cousin who has been saying this since the nineties, we were part of a close circle of friends but she has been since cut out, and guess what, she actually doesn't "not care"!

I’m an introvert who cares deeply about other people, has good social skills, and makes an effort with others. In fact, I think part of my introversion is due to the fact that I work at being kind and thoughtful towards others. I need alone time to recharge because when I’m with others, I give more than I take.

If people are using introversion to justify being jerks, they aren’t really introverts. They’re just selfish and lazy.

+100

Some people are using "I'm an introvert" when they really mean "I'm a judgemental, anxious, agoraphobic jerk."

I'm an introvert who's living my life. In the early stages of the pandemic, I regularly walked with friends (not 6 feet apart). Then I joined outdoor fitness classes. Then I returned to the gym, saw people indoors with masked. Ate indoors. And progressed until I'm back to normal.

I still need to recharge by myself, at home. I don't need to hang out with people every day or even every weekend. But I have all my shots and value my quality of life. For the people that are naturally more social than me? Cool. For the people that are less? Cool. For the people that are using "introvert" as an excuse to judge people or as a cover for their anxiousness... that's a "you" problem.

Exactly this. The term introvert has been appropriated by people who are anti-social but don't like that term. People who have no friends are now calling themselves "introverts."

Oh okay. Sounds like the extroverts are just mad that their social calendar of endless kids parties are still curtailed. No one cares.

Nope--we are just happy to have friends and have our kids learn how to properly socialize. No one is mad here, and no is assuming you or any other anti-social weirdo like the other PP angry about parties cares.

Its that entitlement that I'm so glad to put behind me. Half of the activities suggested are so your kids don't end up as mutes drooling in a room of conversational adults. Your problem. Not anyone else's.

Huh? What problem? DH and I are friends with couples whose kids play with ours and it works out great for everyone. All our children (who are toddlers/infants) will grow up learning how to socialize and with hopefully strong bonds of friendship as well. It's how I grew up--I have such fond memories of the band of girls whose moms were friends with my mother. Admittedly, DH and I are social and love our friends and extended family, but I do struggle to see even how an anti-social weirdo would see something like this as problematic.

Why is it problematic? You have pandemic babies - great. All people are saying is the pandemic changed attitudes to endless unnecessary socializing and people are willing to tell friends that 'hey this doesn't work for me' and they don't have to give an explanation why. Because a lot of it is just mind-numbing hours that serve no purpose with no intellectual conversation or stimulation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think OP means the newly pervasive attitude of people constantly saying they don't care--particularly on social media. Like, we get it. You don't care. Being an introvert is now glamorized while liking people and being social is considered a type of weakness. I have a cousin who has been saying this since the nineties, we were part of a close circle of friends but she has been since cut out, and guess what, she actually doesn't "not care"!

I’m an introvert who cares deeply about other people, has good social skills, and makes an effort with others. In fact, I think part of my introversion is due to the fact that I work at being kind and thoughtful towards others. I need alone time to recharge because when I’m with others, I give more than I take.

If people are using introversion to justify being jerks, they aren’t really introverts. They’re just selfish and lazy.

+100

Some people are using "I'm an introvert" when they really mean "I'm a judgemental, anxious, agoraphobic jerk."

I'm an introvert who's living my life. In the early stages of the pandemic, I regularly walked with friends (not 6 feet apart). Then I joined outdoor fitness classes. Then I returned to the gym, saw people indoors with masked. Ate indoors. And progressed until I'm back to normal.

I still need to recharge by myself, at home. I don't need to hang out with people every day or even every weekend. But I have all my shots and value my quality of life. For the people that are naturally more social than me? Cool. For the people that are less? Cool. For the people that are using "introvert" as an excuse to judge people or as a cover for their anxiousness... that's a "you" problem.

Exactly this. The term introvert has been appropriated by people who are anti-social but don't like that term. People who have no friends are now calling themselves "introverts."

Oh okay. Sounds like the extroverts are just mad that their social calendar of endless kids parties are still curtailed. No one cares.

Nope--we are just happy to have friends and have our kids learn how to properly socialize. No one is mad here, and no is assuming you or any other anti-social weirdo like the other PP angry about parties cares.

Sorry for the tangent, but you know what I've noticed? Pre-pandemic Homeschool moms who would talk about how horrible people are for noticing their bullying while having an enormous ego about their own social skills, raised lonely socially-struggling kids. Post-pandemic homeschool moms sick of yo-yoing virtual, weak teachers, etc have normal, well-adjusted kids. Pre-pandemic, if you asked an in-school mom about their kid's social skills, she'd say "She's always been introverted, a real bookworm". The mean Bible-thumping homeschool mom would say "SOCIAL!?!SOCIAL!?! DON'T YOU KNOW MY HOMESCHOOL KID is reading at an above-average level! YES MY KID IS SOCIAL! MY KID IS FINE SOCIALIZING!!!!" These new post-pandemic homeschool moms don't act like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think OP means the newly pervasive attitude of people constantly saying they don't care--particularly on social media. Like, we get it. You don't care. Being an introvert is now glamorized while liking people and being social is considered a type of weakness. I have a cousin who has been saying this since the nineties, we were part of a close circle of friends but she has been since cut out, and guess what, she actually doesn't "not care"!

+1

So DC!

Actually, being polite and acting like you had a decent upbringing is a sign of strength - while being rude and acting like you were raised in the woods is a sign of weakness, in reality.

No the cashier is no better than the customer, and vice versa.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think OP means the newly pervasive attitude of people constantly saying they don't care--particularly on social media. Like, we get it. You don't care. Being an introvert is now glamorized while liking people and being social is considered a type of weakness. I have a cousin who has been saying this since the nineties, we were part of a close circle of friends but she has been since cut out, and guess what, she actually doesn't "not care"!

I’m an introvert who cares deeply about other people, has good social skills, and makes an effort with others. In fact, I think part of my introversion is due to the fact that I work at being kind and thoughtful towards others. I need alone time to recharge because when I’m with others, I give more than I take.

If people are using introversion to justify being jerks, they aren’t really introverts. They’re just selfish and lazy.

+100

Some people are using "I'm an introvert" when they really mean "I'm a judgemental, anxious, agoraphobic jerk."

I'm an introvert who's living my life. In the early stages of the pandemic, I regularly walked with friends (not 6 feet apart). Then I joined outdoor fitness classes. Then I returned to the gym, saw people indoors with masked. Ate indoors. And progressed until I'm back to normal.

I still need to recharge by myself, at home. I don't need to hang out with people every day or even every weekend. But I have all my shots and value my quality of life. For the people that are naturally more social than me? Cool. For the people that are less? Cool. For the people that are using "introvert" as an excuse to judge people or as a cover for their anxiousness... that's a "you" problem.

Exactly this. The term introvert has been appropriated by people who are anti-social but don't like that term. People who have no friends are now calling themselves "introverts."

Oh okay. Sounds like the extroverts are just mad that their social calendar of endless kids parties are still curtailed. No one cares.

Nope--we are just happy to have friends and have our kids learn how to properly socialize. No one is mad here, and no is assuming you or any other anti-social weirdo like the other PP angry about parties cares.

Its that entitlement that I'm so glad to put behind me. Half of the activities suggested are so your kids don't end up as mutes drooling in a room of conversational adults. Your problem. Not anyone else's.

Huh? What problem? DH and I are friends with couples whose kids play with ours and it works out great for everyone. All our children (who are toddlers/infants) will grow up learning how to socialize and with hopefully strong bonds of friendship as well. It's how I grew up--I have such fond memories of the band of girls whose moms were friends with my mother. Admittedly, DH and I are social and love our friends and extended family, but I do struggle to see even how an anti-social weirdo would see something like this as problematic.

Why is it problematic? You have pandemic babies - great. All people are saying is the pandemic changed attitudes to endless unnecessary socializing and people are willing to tell friends that 'hey this doesn't work for me' and they don't have to give an explanation why. Because a lot of it is just mind-numbing hours that serve no purpose with no intellectual conversation or stimulation.

I'm not the PP you've been sparring with, but it is pretty clear that you are exemplifying the attitude being decried in the OP. I am all for boundaries and not accepting social plans if you don't want to do whatever it is, but it sounds like you are only prioritizing your own enjoyment of the activities you participate in. Do you consider anyone else's feelings? I did not want to go to the mind-numbing birthday parties for Landon or Ava either, but because my kid wanted to go to her friends' parties, I went to the parties until she was old enough for me to just drop her off. We do things for other people in our life, sometimes when we don't want to. Likewise, I do not always feel like socializing with my husband's family or he with mine, but we recognize that as members of those families, there are times when we do stuff that we would not ordinarily choose because it is important to our moms, or our siblings, or whatever.

No one is saying that you should go back to feeling obligated to attend everything you're invited to or be furiously rude. But I think that the pandemic also taught people what socializing WAS important to them. It emboldened people who don't like socializing to be vocal about their distaste. Not all of them (including yourself) have been polite about it. I'm also friends with a lot of extremely whiny people-lovers who you'd think were being literally tortured by social distancing. In general, I think people could stand to be more gracious and less defensive about how other people are processing the pandemic.