I don’t get a good feeling from daycare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked in three outstanding daycare centers before I had children. I knew I would never put my child in daycare. When you see behind the curtain, it’s hard to unsee.

Why would a nanny be any different? There’s literally zero oversight, i.e., they’re alone with your child the entire day.

OP, our kids didn’t start childcare until they were one (DH and I did a mix of WFH/baby-watching, and flexed the crap out of our schedules to do so). But, once we found one we liked and they started, we were very comfortable with it. You have to find one you’re comfortable with, and there are plenty of bad ones out there.

Sure there is oversight for a nanny. First, you check her references from other parents (not possible with daycare teachers). Then you install inexpensive cameras (not possible in daycare). Third, she is in your home and you or partner can drop in at any time (not really possible in most daycares). Fourth, your neighbors will tell you about how your nanny interacts with your child (never, ever happen in daycare - the teachers are forbidden from ratting on each other). And lastly, you run a background check on your nanny (which you can’t do with daycare workers).

Nannies earn double what daycare teachers make. Nannies bond with your child and will love your baby solely. As loving as daycare teachers can be, the bonds simply aren’t the same. My nanny would take a bullet for my kids.

She wouldn’t, but it’s nice that you feel that way.

She absolutely would. You don’t know her. She would die for my kids.

Does she have kids? If so, she definitely wouldn’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I consider myself fortunate that my baby was born just before the pandemic started.

I too had a visceral reaction to the idea of bringing my small baby to daycare when touring centers.

I didn't think we could afford a nanny, but with daycares mostly closed, we had no choice. It was honestly wonderful working from home the first year with a nanny. It meant I could keep breasfeeding and no pumping, see my baby every day at lunch, no commute.

And then once she turned one, it was clear she needed to be in daycare with other kids.

If I was doing it all over again right now, I would do a nanny for the first year, try to negotiate some amount of work from home (even a few days a week) and do everything possible to extend my leave to 4-5 months. And then I'd move to preschool or daycare once I had a toddler for the socialization.

Mine was born right before as well. I had a long maternity leave and was able to juggle care until he was one bc DH and I have flexible jobs. I hated all of the daycare options we looked at. Until I found an amazing in-home. He is so loved and gets to interact with different ages, and it’s right in our neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked in three outstanding daycare centers before I had children. I knew I would never put my child in daycare. When you see behind the curtain, it’s hard to unsee.

Why would a nanny be any different? There’s literally zero oversight, i.e., they’re alone with your child the entire day.

OP, our kids didn’t start childcare until they were one (DH and I did a mix of WFH/baby-watching, and flexed the crap out of our schedules to do so). But, once we found one we liked and they started, we were very comfortable with it. You have to find one you’re comfortable with, and there are plenty of bad ones out there.

Sure there is oversight for a nanny. First, you check her references from other parents (not possible with daycare teachers). Then you install inexpensive cameras (not possible in daycare). Third, she is in your home and you or partner can drop in at any time (not really possible in most daycares). Fourth, your neighbors will tell you about how your nanny interacts with your child (never, ever happen in daycare - the teachers are forbidden from ratting on each other). And lastly, you run a background check on your nanny (which you can’t do with daycare workers).

Nannies earn double what daycare teachers make. Nannies bond with your child and will love your baby solely. As loving as daycare teachers can be, the bonds simply aren’t the same. My nanny would take a bullet for my kids.

She wouldn’t, but it’s nice that you feel that way.

She absolutely would. You don’t know her. She would die for my kids.

Does she have kids? If so, she definitely wouldn’t.

No, our nanny doesn’t have her own children. And she would take a bullet for my kids.

[Anonymous]

Daycare for my first was in my office building and it was still really hard to imagine leaving her there. I waited until 5 months. The first day I planned a half day at work. But when I went to get her, I looked through the window and saw how happy she was and how much fun she was having so I left her for a few more hours!

That daycare was great. We moved and I used one that was fine for her and our 2nd child - they were better for babies than preschoolers. Now our second child is at a small center (20 kids total) ranging ages 2-5 and that’s a better fit for her. But both did well in the daycare setting as infants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked in three outstanding daycare centers before I had children. I knew I would never put my child in daycare. When you see behind the curtain, it’s hard to unsee.

Why would a nanny be any different? There’s literally zero oversight, i.e., they’re alone with your child the entire day.

OP, our kids didn’t start childcare until they were one (DH and I did a mix of WFH/baby-watching, and flexed the crap out of our schedules to do so). But, once we found one we liked and they started, we were very comfortable with it. You have to find one you’re comfortable with, and there are plenty of bad ones out there.

Sure there is oversight for a nanny. First, you check her references from other parents (not possible with daycare teachers). Then you install inexpensive cameras (not possible in daycare). Third, she is in your home and you or partner can drop in at any time (not really possible in most daycares). Fourth, your neighbors will tell you about how your nanny interacts with your child (never, ever happen in daycare - the teachers are forbidden from ratting on each other). And lastly, you run a background check on your nanny (which you can’t do with daycare workers).

Nannies earn double what daycare teachers make. Nannies bond with your child and will love your baby solely. As loving as daycare teachers can be, the bonds simply aren’t the same. My nanny would take a bullet for my kids.

She wouldn’t, but it’s nice that you feel that way.

She absolutely would. You don’t know her. She would die for my kids.

Does she have kids? If so, she definitely wouldn’t.

No, our nanny doesn’t have her own children. And she would take a bullet for my kids.

She’s your employee. You let emotion cloud your judgement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked in three outstanding daycare centers before I had children. I knew I would never put my child in daycare. When you see behind the curtain, it’s hard to unsee.

Why would a nanny be any different? There’s literally zero oversight, i.e., they’re alone with your child the entire day.

OP, our kids didn’t start childcare until they were one (DH and I did a mix of WFH/baby-watching, and flexed the crap out of our schedules to do so). But, once we found one we liked and they started, we were very comfortable with it. You have to find one you’re comfortable with, and there are plenty of bad ones out there.

Sure there is oversight for a nanny. First, you check her references from other parents (not possible with daycare teachers). Then you install inexpensive cameras (not possible in daycare). Third, she is in your home and you or partner can drop in at any time (not really possible in most daycares). Fourth, your neighbors will tell you about how your nanny interacts with your child (never, ever happen in daycare - the teachers are forbidden from ratting on each other). And lastly, you run a background check on your nanny (which you can’t do with daycare workers).

Nannies earn double what daycare teachers make. Nannies bond with your child and will love your baby solely. As loving as daycare teachers can be, the bonds simply aren’t the same. My nanny would take a bullet for my kids.

She wouldn’t, but it’s nice that you feel that way.

She absolutely would. You don’t know her. She would die for my kids.

Does she have kids? If so, she definitely wouldn’t.

No, our nanny doesn’t have her own children. And she would take a bullet for my kids.

She’s your employee. You let emotion cloud your judgement.

Just stop. Please. You have no clue what you’re talking about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked in three outstanding daycare centers before I had children. I knew I would never put my child in daycare. When you see behind the curtain, it’s hard to unsee.

Why would a nanny be any different? There’s literally zero oversight, i.e., they’re alone with your child the entire day.

OP, our kids didn’t start childcare until they were one (DH and I did a mix of WFH/baby-watching, and flexed the crap out of our schedules to do so). But, once we found one we liked and they started, we were very comfortable with it. You have to find one you’re comfortable with, and there are plenty of bad ones out there.

Sure there is oversight for a nanny. First, you check her references from other parents (not possible with daycare teachers). Then you install inexpensive cameras (not possible in daycare). Third, she is in your home and you or partner can drop in at any time (not really possible in most daycares). Fourth, your neighbors will tell you about how your nanny interacts with your child (never, ever happen in daycare - the teachers are forbidden from ratting on each other). And lastly, you run a background check on your nanny (which you can’t do with daycare workers).

Nannies earn double what daycare teachers make. Nannies bond with your child and will love your baby solely. As loving as daycare teachers can be, the bonds simply aren’t the same. My nanny would take a bullet for my kids.

She wouldn’t, but it’s nice that you feel that way.

She absolutely would. You don’t know her. She would die for my kids.

Does she have kids? If so, she definitely wouldn’t.

No, our nanny doesn’t have her own children. And she would take a bullet for my kids.

She’s your employee. You let emotion cloud your judgement.

Just stop. Please. You have no clue what you’re talking about.

[phone]

[Anonymous]

It’s hard that first year Op when your baby is so little! But if you find a good daycare, I wouldn’t hesitate with a 1+ year old. Mine absolutely love it and the friends they have made are so cute. There is a little playground right next to daycare and when it’s nice out, they beg to go so they can spend even more time playing with their friends they just spent 8+ hours with, while the parents chat. It’s a great community and it is so sweet. But my kids are 2 and 4 now, so it’s more of a long term thing. But I totally understand how hard it can be when you have a brand new baby. Those years are tough.

[Anonymous]

I felt that way visiting many daycares! Then I found one that felt much more home-like (it's still a center, just not so institutional) and loving. Two kids have gone through it from 5mo and 8mo respectively, and both have had amazing teachers they loved (and who clearly love them). I think one of the questions that was eye opening for me was asking about turnover of employees. Almost every center gave the same "oh it's childcare, so there's a lot of turnover." Our center replied that there's hardly any, and some employees have been there for years. Now that we've been there, our reality tracks with that answer. We see the same staff year after year. They're clearly paid a living wage, enjoy their jobs, and get lots of support from the center.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked in three outstanding daycare centers before I had children. I knew I would never put my child in daycare. When you see behind the curtain, it’s hard to unsee.

Why would a nanny be any different? There’s literally zero oversight, i.e., they’re alone with your child the entire day.

OP, our kids didn’t start childcare until they were one (DH and I did a mix of WFH/baby-watching, and flexed the crap out of our schedules to do so). But, once we found one we liked and they started, we were very comfortable with it. You have to find one you’re comfortable with, and there are plenty of bad ones out there.

Sure there is oversight for a nanny. First, you check her references from other parents (not possible with daycare teachers). Then you install inexpensive cameras (not possible in daycare). Third, she is in your home and you or partner can drop in at any time (not really possible in most daycares). Fourth, your neighbors will tell you about how your nanny interacts with your child (never, ever happen in daycare - the teachers are forbidden from ratting on each other). And lastly, you run a background check on your nanny (which you can’t do with daycare workers).

Nannies earn double what daycare teachers make. Nannies bond with your child and will love your baby solely. As loving as daycare teachers can be, the bonds simply aren’t the same. My nanny would take a bullet for my kids.

LOL - man, you are working *hard* to convince yourself that your nanny >>> daycare. Of course you can check references with other parents at the daycare (BTDT). Many daycares have cameras. Good daycares allow parents to drop in at anytime (again, BTDT). If your nanny rarely leaves the house, your neighbors will have no clue how she interacts with your kid, moreover, one teacher at our daycare absolutely did rat out another, who was promptly fired. Finally, yes you absolutely can run background checks on people employed at daycares, including the directors and admins.

Good lord, lady. Rarely is cognitive dissonance so beautifully on display!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked in three outstanding daycare centers before I had children. I knew I would never put my child in daycare. When you see behind the curtain, it’s hard to unsee.

Why would a nanny be any different? There’s literally zero oversight, i.e., they’re alone with your child the entire day.

OP, our kids didn’t start childcare until they were one (DH and I did a mix of WFH/baby-watching, and flexed the crap out of our schedules to do so). But, once we found one we liked and they started, we were very comfortable with it. You have to find one you’re comfortable with, and there are plenty of bad ones out there.

Sure there is oversight for a nanny. First, you check her references from other parents (not possible with daycare teachers). Then you install inexpensive cameras (not possible in daycare). Third, she is in your home and you or partner can drop in at any time (not really possible in most daycares). Fourth, your neighbors will tell you about how your nanny interacts with your child (never, ever happen in daycare - the teachers are forbidden from ratting on each other). And lastly, you run a background check on your nanny (which you can’t do with daycare workers).

Nannies earn double what daycare teachers make. Nannies bond with your child and will love your baby solely. As loving as daycare teachers can be, the bonds simply aren’t the same. My nanny would take a bullet for my kids.

LOL - man, you are working *hard* to convince yourself that your nanny >>> daycare. Of course you can check references with other parents at the daycare (BTDT). Many daycares have cameras. Good daycares allow parents to drop in at anytime (again, BTDT). If your nanny rarely leaves the house, your neighbors will have no clue how she interacts with your kid, moreover, one teacher at our daycare absolutely did rat out another, who was promptly fired. Finally, yes you absolutely can run background checks on people employed at daycares, including the directors and admins.

Good lord, lady. Rarely is cognitive dissonance so beautifully on display!

NP here. You live in a dream world, PP. I worked in daycares and you have no fricking clue what goes on outside the camera range or who the “teachers” are or how much they lie to parents. The smiles you see aren’t real.

And the teachers have nicknames for you too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked in three outstanding daycare centers before I had children. I knew I would never put my child in daycare. When you see behind the curtain, it’s hard to unsee.

Why would a nanny be any different? There’s literally zero oversight, i.e., they’re alone with your child the entire day.

OP, our kids didn’t start childcare until they were one (DH and I did a mix of WFH/baby-watching, and flexed the crap out of our schedules to do so). But, once we found one we liked and they started, we were very comfortable with it. You have to find one you’re comfortable with, and there are plenty of bad ones out there.

Sure there is oversight for a nanny. First, you check her references from other parents (not possible with daycare teachers). Then you install inexpensive cameras (not possible in daycare). Third, she is in your home and you or partner can drop in at any time (not really possible in most daycares). Fourth, your neighbors will tell you about how your nanny interacts with your child (never, ever happen in daycare - the teachers are forbidden from ratting on each other). And lastly, you run a background check on your nanny (which you can’t do with daycare workers).

Nannies earn double what daycare teachers make. Nannies bond with your child and will love your baby solely. As loving as daycare teachers can be, the bonds simply aren’t the same. My nanny would take a bullet for my kids.

LOL - man, you are working *hard* to convince yourself that your nanny >>> daycare. Of course you can check references with other parents at the daycare (BTDT). Many daycares have cameras. Good daycares allow parents to drop in at anytime (again, BTDT). If your nanny rarely leaves the house, your neighbors will have no clue how she interacts with your kid, moreover, one teacher at our daycare absolutely did rat out another, who was promptly fired. Finally, yes you absolutely can run background checks on people employed at daycares, including the directors and admins.

Good lord, lady. Rarely is cognitive dissonance so beautifully on display!

NP here. You live in a dream world, PP. I worked in daycares and you have no fricking clue what goes on outside the camera range or who the “teachers” are or how much they lie to parents. The smiles you see aren’t real.

And the teachers have nicknames for you too.

I'm sure they do.

I'm also sure that nannies aren't the childcare utopia some people, like this PP, think they are. My point wasn't that daycares don't have problems, it was that nannies have problems, too. Every point she made to imply that nannies are better than daycares is flat out wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hated daycare. I tried it for 5 months and then pulled him out. Nannies and nanny share? I've seen bad behavior from both at events. Work it out that you are home for the first 5 years. It can be done. I did it. I still work part-time now. It's the best of both worlds.

Sigh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked in three outstanding daycare centers before I had children. I knew I would never put my child in daycare. When you see behind the curtain, it’s hard to unsee.

Why would a nanny be any different? There’s literally zero oversight, i.e., they’re alone with your child the entire day.

OP, our kids didn’t start childcare until they were one (DH and I did a mix of WFH/baby-watching, and flexed the crap out of our schedules to do so). But, once we found one we liked and they started, we were very comfortable with it. You have to find one you’re comfortable with, and there are plenty of bad ones out there.

Sure there is oversight for a nanny. First, you check her references from other parents (not possible with daycare teachers). Then you install inexpensive cameras (not possible in daycare). Third, she is in your home and you or partner can drop in at any time (not really possible in most daycares). Fourth, your neighbors will tell you about how your nanny interacts with your child (never, ever happen in daycare - the teachers are forbidden from ratting on each other). And lastly, you run a background check on your nanny (which you can’t do with daycare workers).

Nannies earn double what daycare teachers make. Nannies bond with your child and will love your baby solely. As loving as daycare teachers can be, the bonds simply aren’t the same. My nanny would take a bullet for my kids.

She wouldn’t, but it’s nice that you feel that way.

She absolutely would. You don’t know her. She would die for my kids.

Does she have kids? If so, she definitely wouldn’t.

No, our nanny doesn’t have her own children. And she would take a bullet for my kids.

Then there you go

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I felt that way visiting many daycares! Then I found one that felt much more home-like (it's still a center, just not so institutional) and loving. Two kids have gone through it from 5mo and 8mo respectively, and both have had amazing teachers they loved (and who clearly love them). I think one of the questions that was eye opening for me was asking about turnover of employees. Almost every center gave the same "oh it's childcare, so there's a lot of turnover." Our center replied that there's hardly any, and some employees have been there for years. Now that we've been there, our reality tracks with that answer. We see the same staff year after year. They're clearly paid a living wage, enjoy their jobs, and get lots of support from the center.

The low/no turnover of in-homes is really great.