I don’t get a good feeling from daycare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Daycare was never in the cards for me but I couldn’t even imagine handing my baby over to a nanny when I was pregnant and the first month of postpartum. My mother was here helping me and I was working hard trying to convince her to move here when we met our nanny. I just knew she was the right choice. I harped on DH to get an offer and contract to her that day (pending reference and background checks) and he did.

Nanny is truly family after three plus years and going through the Covid shutdowns together where she (who lives alone) saw no one but us and we saw no one but her.

When you know - you know!

Why not? Why wasn’t daycare ever a consideration?

I’ve always worked from home and knew I wanted the baby here to breastfeed and cuddle. I didn’t want to miss milestones either.

Makes sense. Thanks!

One more question: does it work now that your child is older?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Daycare was never in the cards for me but I couldn’t even imagine handing my baby over to a nanny when I was pregnant and the first month of postpartum. My mother was here helping me and I was working hard trying to convince her to move here when we met our nanny. I just knew she was the right choice. I harped on DH to get an offer and contract to her that day (pending reference and background checks) and he did.

Nanny is truly family after three plus years and going through the Covid shutdowns together where she (who lives alone) saw no one but us and we saw no one but her.

When you know - you know!

Why not? Why wasn’t daycare ever a consideration?

I’ve always worked from home and knew I wanted the baby here to breastfeed and cuddle. I didn’t want to miss milestones either.

Yes, it’s always worked out. I had another baby when my oldest was two and nanny kept them both occupied and happy. She always took both kids out in the mornings and then read to oldest while baby was napping. Older child started school in September and nanny picks him up with the baby (DH or I do drop off).

Makes sense. Thanks!

One more question: does it work now that your child is older?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Daycare was never in the cards for me but I couldn’t even imagine handing my baby over to a nanny when I was pregnant and the first month of postpartum. My mother was here helping me and I was working hard trying to convince her to move here when we met our nanny. I just knew she was the right choice. I harped on DH to get an offer and contract to her that day (pending reference and background checks) and he did.

Nanny is truly family after three plus years and going through the Covid shutdowns together where she (who lives alone) saw no one but us and we saw no one but her.

When you know - you know!

Why not? Why wasn’t daycare ever a consideration?

I’ve always worked from home and knew I wanted the baby here to breastfeed and cuddle. I didn’t want to miss milestones either.

Sorry, I answered above your question.


Yes, it’s always worked out. I had another baby when my oldest was two and nanny kept them both occupied and happy. She always took both kids out in the mornings and then read to oldest while baby was napping. Older child started school in September and nanny picks him up with the baby (DH or I do drop off).

Makes sense. Thanks!

One more question: does it work now that your child is older?

[Anonymous]

I lived next to a daycare and workers would often roll up to work smoking a joint. Scared me off of daycare.

[Anonymous]

I worked in three outstanding daycare centers before I had children. I knew I would never put my child in daycare. When you see behind the curtain, it’s hard to unsee.

[Anonymous]

I was terrified of getting a nanny because there is no oversight and I was so anxious of all the terrible stories of shaken and ignored babies. I felt at least there was oversight at a daycare.

The daycare for my first child was amazing! And my DH could go there during the day sometimes too because it was next to his work.

The one for my second left me in tears. It was the only one I could find and it was just dirty, and the workers were awful, unsmiling and didn’t talk to the babies or do anything with them. We got him out of there as quickly as we could be I wish I would have switched to a nanny earlier in that situation.

This time around I got into my absolute top choice daycare and I’m super happy.

I guess the point is, neither is better inherently. It really depends on who the provider is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I worked in three outstanding daycare centers before I had children. I knew I would never put my child in daycare. When you see behind the curtain, it’s hard to unsee.

Why would a nanny be any different? There’s literally zero oversight, i.e., they’re alone with your child the entire day.

OP, our kids didn’t start childcare until they were one (DH and I did a mix of WFH/baby-watching, and flexed the crap out of our schedules to do so). But, once we found one we liked and they started, we were very comfortable with it. You have to find one you’re comfortable with, and there are plenty of bad ones out there.

[Anonymous]

I hated daycare. I tried it for 5 months and then pulled him out. Nannies and nanny share? I've seen bad behavior from both at events. Work it out that you are home for the first 5 years. It can be done. I did it. I still work part-time now. It's the best of both worlds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked in three outstanding daycare centers before I had children. I knew I would never put my child in daycare. When you see behind the curtain, it’s hard to unsee.

Why would a nanny be any different? There’s literally zero oversight, i.e., they’re alone with your child the entire day.

OP, our kids didn’t start childcare until they were one (DH and I did a mix of WFH/baby-watching, and flexed the crap out of our schedules to do so). But, once we found one we liked and they started, we were very comfortable with it. You have to find one you’re comfortable with, and there are plenty of bad ones out there.

I’m not sure it would have been better. We sacrificed big time. DH worked days. I worked part time evenings/nights and occasional weekends. Some things are just not worth the risk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked in three outstanding daycare centers before I had children. I knew I would never put my child in daycare. When you see behind the curtain, it’s hard to unsee.

Why would a nanny be any different? There’s literally zero oversight, i.e., they’re alone with your child the entire day.

OP, our kids didn’t start childcare until they were one (DH and I did a mix of WFH/baby-watching, and flexed the crap out of our schedules to do so). But, once we found one we liked and they started, we were very comfortable with it. You have to find one you’re comfortable with, and there are plenty of bad ones out there.

Sure there is oversight for a nanny. First, you check her references from other parents (not possible with daycare teachers). Then you install inexpensive cameras (not possible in daycare). Third, she is in your home and you or partner can drop in at any time (not really possible in most daycares). Fourth, your neighbors will tell you about how your nanny interacts with your child (never, ever happen in daycare - the teachers are forbidden from ratting on each other). And lastly, you run a background check on your nanny (which you can’t do with daycare workers).

Nannies earn double what daycare teachers make. Nannies bond with your child and will love your baby solely. As loving as daycare teachers can be, the bonds simply aren’t the same. My nanny would take a bullet for my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I worked in three outstanding daycare centers before I had children. I knew I would never put my child in daycare. When you see behind the curtain, it’s hard to unsee.

+1. Me too. I would for preschool at my old daycare center but never a baby or young toddler.

[Anonymous]

I consider myself fortunate that my baby was born just before the pandemic started.

I too had a visceral reaction to the idea of bringing my small baby to daycare when touring centers.

I didn't think we could afford a nanny, but with daycares mostly closed, we had no choice. It was honestly wonderful working from home the first year with a nanny. It meant I could keep breasfeeding and no pumping, see my baby every day at lunch, no commute.

And then once she turned one, it was clear she needed to be in daycare with other kids.

If I was doing it all over again right now, I would do a nanny for the first year, try to negotiate some amount of work from home (even a few days a week) and do everything possible to extend my leave to 4-5 months. And then I'd move to preschool or daycare once I had a toddler for the socialization.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I worked in three outstanding daycare centers before I had children. I knew I would never put my child in daycare. When you see behind the curtain, it’s hard to unsee.

Tell me more!

And if it was so bad behind the scenes, why did you go on to work at more centers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked in three outstanding daycare centers before I had children. I knew I would never put my child in daycare. When you see behind the curtain, it’s hard to unsee.

Why would a nanny be any different? There’s literally zero oversight, i.e., they’re alone with your child the entire day.

OP, our kids didn’t start childcare until they were one (DH and I did a mix of WFH/baby-watching, and flexed the crap out of our schedules to do so). But, once we found one we liked and they started, we were very comfortable with it. You have to find one you’re comfortable with, and there are plenty of bad ones out there.

Sure there is oversight for a nanny. First, you check her references from other parents (not possible with daycare teachers). Then you install inexpensive cameras (not possible in daycare). Third, she is in your home and you or partner can drop in at any time (not really possible in most daycares). Fourth, your neighbors will tell you about how your nanny interacts with your child (never, ever happen in daycare - the teachers are forbidden from ratting on each other). And lastly, you run a background check on your nanny (which you can’t do with daycare workers).

Nannies earn double what daycare teachers make. Nannies bond with your child and will love your baby solely. As loving as daycare teachers can be, the bonds simply aren’t the same. My nanny would take a bullet for my kids.

She wouldn’t, but it’s nice that you feel that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked in three outstanding daycare centers before I had children. I knew I would never put my child in daycare. When you see behind the curtain, it’s hard to unsee.

Why would a nanny be any different? There’s literally zero oversight, i.e., they’re alone with your child the entire day.

OP, our kids didn’t start childcare until they were one (DH and I did a mix of WFH/baby-watching, and flexed the crap out of our schedules to do so). But, once we found one we liked and they started, we were very comfortable with it. You have to find one you’re comfortable with, and there are plenty of bad ones out there.

Sure there is oversight for a nanny. First, you check her references from other parents (not possible with daycare teachers). Then you install inexpensive cameras (not possible in daycare). Third, she is in your home and you or partner can drop in at any time (not really possible in most daycares). Fourth, your neighbors will tell you about how your nanny interacts with your child (never, ever happen in daycare - the teachers are forbidden from ratting on each other). And lastly, you run a background check on your nanny (which you can’t do with daycare workers).

Nannies earn double what daycare teachers make. Nannies bond with your child and will love your baby solely. As loving as daycare teachers can be, the bonds simply aren’t the same. My nanny would take a bullet for my kids.

She wouldn’t, but it’s nice that you feel that way.

She absolutely would. You don’t know her. She would die for my kids.