Absolute Monogamy

[Anonymous]

No regrets. I met my life partner when I was 22, he was 21; we always say we were never friends first. Went on our first date a few days later and here we are WOW 23 years together. We have had many ups and downs but he is the great treasure of my life. I have many friends navigating divorced life. Single life. Chasing the new thing or the unknown. We lie in bed together at night and
I thank God for his presence in my life and only want more time. We have a great life with lots of love, patience, great sex life and I hope we have many many years to watch our amazing children grow and navigate the tide of life together. A great partner is a blessing but sometimes you have to be your own great partner first; a bad partner is a curse and my own sisters life has been ruined over that. So each path has its pitfallls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone planning to raise healthy, emotionally sound children should choose Door #1.

Otherwise, do whatever the hell you want. Personally, I can't stand drama or randos or health or safety risk. And, it is crazy that is what OP equates to 'fun and exciting'. Someone can lead an incredibly adventurous and exciting life without banging multiple randos and getting themselves into all kinds of drama filled situations.

LOL the people I know who got married young to their HS/teenage sweetheart had the most drama filled relationships and messed up kids I’ve seen. Children shouldn’t be raising children.

Nobody is advocating teenage brides. I'm talking people that meet in their 20s and marry in mid-late 20s. College educated.

Marriage to many of us is what 'absolute monogamy means', not you marry the first person you lose your virginity to (or first BF/GF).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone planning to raise healthy, emotionally sound children should choose Door #1.

Otherwise, do whatever the hell you want. Personally, I can't stand drama or randos or health or safety risk. And, it is crazy that is what OP equates to 'fun and exciting'. Someone can lead an incredibly adventurous and exciting life without banging multiple randos and getting themselves into all kinds of drama filled situations.

LOL the people I know who got married young to their HS/teenage sweetheart had the most drama filled relationships and messed up kids I’ve seen. Children shouldn’t be raising children.

Nobody is advocating teenage brides. I'm talking people that meet in their 20s and marry in mid-late 20s. College educated.

Marriage to many of us is what 'absolute monogamy means', not you marry the first person you lose your virginity to (or first BF/GF).

Marriage is “long term monogamy” not absolute monogamy. There is no “born again monogamy”.

[Anonymous]

This questions is dumb....every single path in life has tradeoffs, there's no way around it. Having kids may be your dream come true but any reasonable person would say it does have its downside as well (sleep, travel, spontaneity), having 1 kids vs 3 kids has tradeoffs, becoming a journalist or doctor, getting married or not, living in NYC or the mountains, staying close to your family or moving to a more interesting place.

So based on your initial question where you state the person is happy - then it sounds like it was a good path for them. did they miss out on something, of course, but there's no doing anything in life without missing out on some other things

[Anonymous]

Every person is different. I am a happily married man in my 50's, with a great sex life with my wife who is in her 40's, and we are both 100% monogamous. But I married in my late 30's, and from college until the time I met my wife, had plenty of relationships and hookups. I consider it the best of both worlds and wouldn't change a thing.

[Anonymous]

DH and I met at 19. He’d been with one other, but I had/have not.

We are now in our 40’s and have been happily married 17 years with 2 kids. I have no regrets. If he does, he has never expressed them.

If he passed away I don’t think I’d seek another partner. Maybe if I found one by accident I would consider it, but it would not be a goal of mine. I am content and satisfied and feel quite fortunate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Met my husband at age 26. Married soon after. 25-years later. Yes- monogamy. But we still have a good sex life/great chemistry.

I don't like drama. I don't want up and downs and stress and uncertainty.

I had an extremely happy childhood and very loving parents.

Monogamy to me doesn't equal boring. My husband and I have had some very wild times in our lives. We were always the 'party couple'. We left jobs and traveled/partied abroad pre-kids. We dabbled in things.

We have a great time with our kids. They are stable, happy, thriving teens and we have a lot of fun as a family.

This gives me hope for our kids.
-signed, mom who is trying hard to break the cycle of generational trauma

[Anonymous]

Well, I was single til I was 31. Then married for 20 years. Now back to hook ups, dating, etc. Both have advantages

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, I was single til I was 31. Then married for 20 years. Now back to hook ups, dating, etc. Both have advantages

Hook ups and dating at age 51 sound miserable to me.

Why did you get divorced? Get caught cheating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I was single til I was 31. Then married for 20 years. Now back to hook ups, dating, etc. Both have advantages

Hook ups and dating at age 51 sound miserable to me.

Why did you get divorced? Get caught cheating?

As a woman, that would be the last thing I would want. Rando hookups in late middle age, at 51??? Ewww.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I was single til I was 31. Then married for 20 years. Now back to hook ups, dating, etc. Both have advantages

Hook ups and dating at age 51 sound miserable to me.

Why did you get divorced? Get caught cheating?

As a woman, that would be the last thing I would want. Rando hookups in late middle age, at 51??? Ewww.

+1. Rando hookups as a woman in 50s sounds awful. Yuck.

[Anonymous]

50+ is actually when a caring and faithful spouse has more value, for both genders.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I was single til I was 31. Then married for 20 years. Now back to hook ups, dating, etc. Both have advantages

Hook ups and dating at age 51 sound miserable to me.

Why did you get divorced? Get caught cheating?

As a woman, that would be the last thing I would want. Rando hookups in late middle age, at 51??? Ewww.

I think it sounds great. Don't have to worry about unwanted pregnancy and you can be way pickier about the guys.

[Anonymous]

If we are sorting people into 2 categories, I think some crave monogamy while others crave change. The trick is to identify which person you are and own it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I was single til I was 31. Then married for 20 years. Now back to hook ups, dating, etc. Both have advantages

Hook ups and dating at age 51 sound miserable to me.

Why did you get divorced? Get caught cheating?

As a woman, that would be the last thing I would want. Rando hookups in late middle age, at 51??? Ewww.

I think it sounds great. Don't have to worry about unwanted pregnancy and you can be way pickier about the guys.

Gross. 50, 60 year old bodies. Who wants to get naked in front of strangers?