Anonymous vent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi Op- have you thought about raising your own income instead? 90K is not a small salary. But YOUR salary of $50K is extremely low for this area. I am a former SAHM, foreign born with a strong accent and gramma mistakes when I write in English.

I was able to secure a job at $65K in DC with 10-years gap on my resume.

If you make 200K together jointly and share parenting equally, it is totally possible to buy a house to raise a family in DC area : Kensington, Rockville, Silver Spring.

Not to derail this but how did you get back in the jib market after 10 years? I find most places won’t even consider me with such a gap.

OP, at least you are working - it is much easier to improve your career when you are already working, and now is a great time due to low unemployment. What line of work are you in?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi Op- have you thought about raising your own income instead? 90K is not a small salary. But YOUR salary of $50K is extremely low for this area. I am a former SAHM, foreign born with a strong accent and gramma mistakes when I write in English.

I was able to secure a job at $65K in DC with 10-years gap on my resume.

If you make 200K together jointly and share parenting equally, it is totally possible to buy a house to raise a family in DC area : Kensington, Rockville, Silver Spring.

Not to derail this but how did you get back in the jib market after 10 years? I find most places won’t even consider me with such a gap.

OP, at least you are working - it is much easier to improve your career when you are already working, and now is a great time due to low unemployment. What line of work are you in?

I was just applying for many jobs, and had a career coach. It helped tremendously. I had experience in my foreign country prior to these 10 years at home so they did consider it and hired me at 40 for an entry level position in finance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am very disappointed in myself and my marriage. I guess it is my own fault as I never truly had career ambitions and was a bit lost after graduation. I wanted to marry someone well-to-do with the expectation that he would be the primary breadwinner. Plenty of women do this, but they at least select their husbands carefully, vetting them for their success potential. I married someone I thought was smart and interesting. He had a BA and MA in liberal arts and although a hard worker, only made about 90k at 30. I started to become impatient as my clock was ticking and I wanted the resources to be able to buy a house, have a child, start our married adult life. I made about 50k then to his 90k. He also had to pay about 1k in grad school loans so we did not have much left for significant savings.

Here we are at 34 and we do not have a house, a child or are able to proceed in both ways. I have a lot of anxiety and sadness about wasted time in a marriage where my dreams were not possible. I feel so bitter and angry, at myself and him.

OP is it possible your DH (dear husband) is in actual fact making much more than you think, or that you are actually making a little less and that adding those two figures together gets you a little closer to the desired average? Another thing he could be working on is the surprise house. Has he driven you buy, or even walked by or alluded to in particular houses, along the lines of That's An Interesting House, or I've Never Noticed That House Before. If so, watch out, as he may have bought it, or be in the process of buying it or acquiring it in some form or fashion in order to spring it on you. Would be interesting to know if you have noticed any of these telltale traits. As fa as the MA (Master of Arts) can you be sure your D.H. actually has this degree. Many people say they have one, or found one, when it is something they would like to do, but have not as yet. Not saying that is the case here, just something to consider.

So your guesses are:

- OP's husband is making more than he is telling her he is?
- OP is making less than she thinks she is?
- OP doesn't know what her HHI is?
- OP's husband has secretly already bought her a house and is waiting to surprise her with it?
- OP's husband doesn't actually have the degrees he has told her he has?

OK, then.

That you felt the need to define DH is just the chef's kiss on this entire lunatic response.

Right?!! “People find MA degrees?” What is this person smoking?

[Anonymous]

Why are you still married then? Own your mistake, take responsibility and let your DH go. He deserves someone who will love him for who he is, as is, and it’s definitely not you. Then get on with your life.

[Anonymous]

This site is depressing.

A bunch of very stuck-up assholes.

Maybe you can't find a house in the DC area because it is waaaaay overpriced. Everyone lives in expensive homes and many of them are shitholes built a long time ago. Move to a place where the cost of living is lower and you can get a decent new house for way under a million dollars.

[Anonymous]

People in DC are so out of touch with reality. You do realize the average household income is less than $90k? Many couples raise a family on that income. Maybe move to a cheaper area if you can’t afford a home in DC. Maybe you should worry about making more money rather than using your husband as a bank.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s actually possible to ovulate on that income.

Eggs are cheap, it's the diapers and accessories that will drain your bank account.

[Anonymous]

It is good that your husband has a Bachelor and a Masters however a Liberal Arts degree (like one in Social Work) will not make a ton of money.

Think teaching……