Feeling Incredibly Disappointed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our child was waitlisted everywhere for 9th. I thought I was mentally prepared for this outcome since she only applied to a handful of top schools but I am surprised at how disappointed I feel. I am not sure how she is feeling because she had to run out to visit friends after she checked the results. She is coming from public school and will now stay in public school, which I suppose is fine. She has a nice group of friends, is doing well in school, and it will certainly be logistically and financially easier for her to go to our local public high school but it still stings. I, of course, think she is a terrific kid. So hard to know what these schools are looking for. I keep telling myself that everything happens for a reason and she will have a great high school experience no matter what.

You may get off a waitlist. But this is the same terrific kid she was before you got the results. Don't take it personal. It's a numbers game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes! Write a letter (or better yet, have you daughter write it). My DC got in off of a Big 3 waitlist a few years ago. Hang in there and good luck.

Who should the letter be addressed and submitted to? The signatories of the WL decision letters or someone else? Since so much was virtual this year, it is hard to know where to even send such letter!

Email a letter to the Director of Admissions. Have your daughter write it, but of course check it before she sends from her email account. Copy the Admissions Assistant -- check the school's website for contact info if you don't have it already. Be sure to say the school is your first choice.

This will get their attention. She still may not get in, but at least you will have done what you could. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry OP! But college admissions is much better from public, especially DCPS. Hopefully that’s a silver lining…

While I am sorry for OP's disappointment, this is just not true. At all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can’t understate how competitive it is right now. In last year’s admissions, almost every kid from my child’s K-8 who got into a big 3 already had a sibling there. There were probably only a couple who got in without that connection.

Same observation here. I can think of a dozen admits in the past 3 years to these schools and every one had a sibling there already except for one girl.

[Anonymous]

OP again. Thanks for all of the practical advice and viewpoints. She just returned home and we were able to chat. She is amazing. Truly, I have an amazing kid. She is handling this better than I am and in such a mature manner. She said, word for word, "there are a lot of great kids out there, I knew these schools were going to be very competitive, and I am not taking it personally. I will be fine at [public school]. It has [x, y, and z], which I am looking forward to." She definitely wants to submit a follow-up letter of interest at one of the schools and passively remain on the waitlist for the other two. I am so proud of her. We are going out to dinner shortly but thank you all for your comments on this thread. My husband has been in client meetings all day so we have not had a chance to share the news with him and I have been mulling this over alone (and with you all) for the past couple of hours!

[Anonymous]

Hooray for your daughter. What an amazing kiddo.

And hooray for DCUM for this thread, which has been a good one. See? There are good humans out there in DCUM land.

[Anonymous]

("see"--not to the original poster, but to the trolls who like to cause ugly mischief and grief.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hooray for your daughter. What an amazing kiddo.

And hooray for DCUM for this thread, which has been a good one. See? There are good humans out there in DCUM land.

Agree! I think many posters are empathetic because they/we went through the process themselves + know how tough it is/was.

[Anonymous]

Op, she sounds like an amazing kid. You should be so proud!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes! Write a letter (or better yet, have you daughter write it). My DC got in off of a Big 3 waitlist a few years ago. Hang in there and good luck.

Who should the letter be addressed and submitted to? The signatories of the WL decision letters or someone else? Since so much was virtual this year, it is hard to know where to even send such letter!

Email a letter to the Director of Admissions. Have your daughter write it, but of course check it before she sends from her email account. Copy the Admissions Assistant -- check the school's website for contact info if you don't have it already. Be sure to say the school is your first choice.

This will get their attention. She still may not get in, but at least you will have done what you could. Good luck!

Do this and be very specific about what she likes about the school/why it is a good fit. If she’s had any new activities/accomplishments since she submitted the app she could include a mention of that as well.

[Anonymous]

To add to PP, help the school see what your daughter will bring to school community. She sounds very mature and level-headed and would be a good influence on classmates.

[Anonymous]

Okay, feeling dumb here, but I hadn’t heard of a first choice letter before this string. Do those carry much (any) weight after your kid’s been waitlisted?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The truth is, which public school people like to downplay, it’s incredibly difficult to get into the best privates, or even the less competitive ones, from public. It’s much easier from a private k-8. It also helps if you are a legacy. Otherwise it’s not a smart risk to take if you want private for your kid. Going to public and expecting to switch to private later is just very unlikely. Anecdotal evidence doesn’t matter, the admission percentages tell the truth.

This is very much the truth. I think we (public parents) who parent our kids in the DMV encounter many private school kids (kids of our friends, co-workers, neighbors, sports' teams, etc) and we none of them seem to be much different than ours and none of the are rocket scientists and we think "hey, it's pretty normal to get into these schools if you just want to pay the $50K. I mean these are just normal kids. Maybe someday I'll move my kid but not quite yet because he's doing just fine in public". And then you take the admissions tours in 9th and the staff are so friendly and approachable and also make it appear that you have a totally great chance.

But then the reality is that it's like winning the lottery to get a public-to-top private school in 9th. It's really, really, really hard. These schools probably admit 25% from public in 9th and many of them are athletic recruits. So if there are 20 spots, FIVE of them will come from public school and this includes 2 genders and every.public.school.in.the.DMV. It seems so easy and yet it's nigh on impossible.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry OP. Was in the same situation 4 years ago. Results came out earlier back then (around lunchtime) so I was able to process my own disappointment without DC around. We discussed the pros/cons of private/public when DC applied so I focused on those same things when we discussed the outcome later. Older DC went private for HS (not a school younger DC applied to) so we had firsthand experience to build a pretty balanced pro/con list.

DC is now about to graduate from public magnet and had a great HS experience (even with COVID). Admitted early to 1st choice college and recently reconnected with a friend from MS (who WAS admitted in 9th to school DC had been W.L) when they realized on social media they were both admitted to the same college.

There is no such thing as a perfect school - private or public.

[Anonymous]

Neighbor’s child went to public charter High. Named Basis. Did well and is now at MIT. Another kid that graduated from Wilson last year is a freshman at Brown. Don’t believe it’s private or bust. Smart hard-working kids do well.