Feeling Incredibly Disappointed
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Anonymous
Yes! write a letter reiterating her interest. If you know someone who attends the school and is in good standing and knows your kid, consider having them write too. Good luck. This process sucks. |
Anonymous
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Yes! Write a letter (or better yet, have you daughter write it). My DC got in off of a Big 3 waitlist a few years ago. Hang in there and good luck.
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Anonymous
| We were in this position a few years ago. We totally underestimated how hard 9th grade admissions would be. Especially coming from public school. The schools have relationships with the k-8s and take a lot of kids from them. It is much much harder to get in from public. But things work out in the end and by DC is now glad didn't get into private! |
Anonymous
| I am so sorry! If you only apply to top schools, you have to be confident in your back up plan. Sounds like public is working and she has great friends. This is so important. Do not overlook the positives. |
Anonymous
Who should the letter be addressed and submitted to? The signatories of the WL decision letters or someone else? Since so much was virtual this year, it is hard to know where to even send such letter! |
Anonymous
| The truth is, which public school people like to downplay, it’s incredibly difficult to get into the best privates, or even the less competitive ones, from public. It’s much easier from a private k-8. It also helps if you are a legacy. Otherwise it’s not a smart risk to take if you want private for your kid. Going to public and expecting to switch to private later is just very unlikely. Anecdotal evidence doesn’t matter, the admission percentages tell the truth. |
Anonymous
Yep. You want to get in? Pay full price. Legacy helps. Beyond that, it's a crapshoot and very low admission rate. |
Anonymous
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Oh, momma. I'm sorry about this, and I know you must be managing your disappointment as well as thinking how you can best support your daughter. That's all so hard.
We've just gone through this process for our DS entering grade 6 (coming from public, btw), but it brought back how stressful and random-seeming the grade 9 apps were for our DD and, frankly, for us as parents (shudder). Our daughter landed in a good place that's a good fit, but we frankly had no idea what would happen in pandemic admissions season. I teach college, and anytime I agree to write a letter for a student--especially for grad school or transfer apps, I tell them that I will write the best letter that I can (and that absolutely I'm cheering for them!), but that it's often much less about the individual than about the wider cohort they're putting together or filling in. As much as it feels like a decision on individual worth, it's often about so many other things beyond the self. I don't know whether it helps to say, but I'll go ahead and write down that I think it's increasingly hard to come from public school into private admission, especially in the COVID era. There are more applications, more competition, and I think with that comes more difference in how private schools support those transition years into admittance to the next place versus public schools. That's not one lick about what school is better than what, but whether folks are well versed in the admissions process to know how to write the kind of rec letter that stands out, versus the basic format that can be easy to breeze through. What can you identify as good things about the school ahead for her? What excitement might you help build about a great, new building and new friends and new clubs and extracurriculars? One of the things that I think is true of all the high schools around here is that they're big enough that kids can find their "people" and their niches, sometimes even more than in smaller, private schools where you already have to be some kind of superstar or it feels a real risk to put yourself out there. |
Anonymous
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PP: 18:19
(Looks like someone beat me to the punch about the rocky road from public to private.) |
Anonymous
| We are in the same position. Older kids were waitlisted everywhere. Middle kid flat out rejected (and he is basically a genius), and our youngest was accepted. Never saw that coming. |
Anonymous
Not surprising. It’s way easier to “buy” admissions by applying young and committing to extra 5 years of tuition |
Anonymous
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Sorry to hear OP. The process is very, very stressful. My kid was WL everywhere including second + third tier schools. My dh worked with a wonderful woman who was a Holton Alum. We are not sure, but we think the fact that the woman wrote a letter + called... may have tipped the scales for DD. Kid ended up at HYP (if I said which- you could ID her - so I won't).
If you have any alum contacts at your choice schools-- reach out + ask for help. Also, have child's favorite teacher +/or principal call. This is DC-- now is the time to lobby (in a respectful + non-annoying way). Good luck to you. Holton was so great for my kid-- due to its programs, my kid became the first Ivy kid in my very large + extended family. Only in America! |
Anonymous
| You can’t understate how competitive it is right now. In last year’s admissions, almost every kid from my child’s K-8 who got into a big 3 already had a sibling there. There were probably only a couple who got in without that connection. |
Anonymous
Not way easier, but definitely easier. Too many families try the "save money by going public and switch for 9th grade" strategy that it becomes a numbers game. |
Anonymous
| It will be much easier for her to get into a good public university OP. There are lots of pluses for staying in public. |