DC Will Not Decide

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - it is Sweet Briar and DD has executive function issues that would be best served there in our opinions. Her other choices are schools that do not have the personal attention, but they are good fits. Part of the issue is we have a very good relationship, but she is still my step daughter, and although we have a good relationship, I am not her mom, and so there is a natural rebellion. She still has a relationship with her mom (who she sees 8 weeks a year).

She should be able to go for an accepted students weekend. Encourage her to go and check it out. Make sure to lay out your concerns and make sure she knows all her acceptance schools reasonably well. After that, let her decide.

[Anonymous]

Why on earth would you push her to an all-girls school that almost shut down once already? That is a very very bad decision. If she has any other choices, at all, anything is better than Sweet Briar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - it is Sweet Briar and DD has executive function issues that would be best served there in our opinions. Her other choices are schools that do not have the personal attention, but they are good fits. Part of the issue is we have a very good relationship, but she is still my step daughter, and although we have a good relationship, I am not her mom, and so there is a natural rebellion. She still has a relationship with her mom (who she sees 8 weeks a year).

Assuming the other schools also have students with executive functioning issues, what resources are available? Is there a program at an additional cost affiliated with the school? Are there outside organizations that they refer students to use? Are there support groups, discord group etc, for students with executive function issues? Is your step daughter willing to use the support resources available? Is she doing any of the work to find out what is available?

If there were schools that you weren’t going to pay for, the time to have that conversation was before she applied. All the schools applied to should work for your step daughter even if in your opinion one is a better fit than the others. Since your step daughter is the one that has to attend, she has to have confidence in that choice and has to be willing to address the executive function issues to have her best chance of being happy and academically successful.

[Anonymous]

Sweet Briar is going through a major academic restructuring and still is not on solid financial footing. I would be hesitant about sending my child there under any circumstances.

[Anonymous]

Can you lay out the finances and ask her to consider them during a holistic review of which school she would like? For example, if you go to cheaper school (assuming you like it), you will get more spending money from us? Or, you will have fewer loans? Just like when adults take jobs, salary is one of many considerations.

[Anonymous]

OP disappearing and not responding to any more substantive questions tends to suggestion she knows her justifications are weak.