Wwyd girl drama/teacher call?

[Anonymous]

Not a teacher here, but l agree please call her back with an open mind and listen. I was never a “mean girl” but l see now l was on the verge of becoming one with a friend that l didn’t really like any more in 5th grade. Her family moved away shortly after l started being crap to her. In retrospect l wish someone would have called me on my shit right when it happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Got a voicemail, teacher calling to tell me DD11/5th is in the middle of girl drama. Girl Group consists of Girls A-H, Girl A told C-H that she no longer likes Girl B, doesn’t want to be friends anymore. Group “didn’t want to keep the secrets as gossip and/or still wanted to include B in friend group” and told B, who started crying in front of teacher. (The quoted is my DD version. Basically they didn’t want to exclude B and thought she should know what A said.)

Teacher wants me to call back when I can do we can discuss. I think it sounds like it was handled just fine. The group as a whole stood up for B, though hurt her feelings in the process. Nothing about this feels malicious. But how should I best word this to teacher without sounding nonchalant or like I don’t care (I really don’t care in this instance, seems like a normal social learning situation.)

You shouldn't. Call the teacher back and listen with an open mind to what she has to say.

Also, please update!

[Anonymous]

Let us know how it turns out.

I’d be curious why she is calling you..did she call all 6-8 girls’ parents? Seems unlikely but who knows.

[Anonymous]

I’m so impressed the teacher made a call. Frankly I think girl drama is flat out cruel. My daughter has had snd been in a ton of it and it’s awful awful awful! All this conversation about bullying - yes that’s terrific to confront that. But what we call “girl drama” is flat out mental health shattering. I tried to stay on sidelines and just coach my daughter but let me tell you- it can be crippling.
I think more parents need teachers should talk and discuss these situations and coach girls on how drama impacts mental health. And parents should absolutely weigh in. Being mean is wrong- period. Being hurtful is wrong. Yes life is tough- got it- but 5th grade shouldn’t be!
My daughter has been right there in the middle of it- and once I was forced to see more of what goes on in chat rooms group text etc, I felt like I had been blind to many great teaching moments and a ton of needed monitoring. My daughter was basically trying to control friends online- getting mad when they didn’t Include her- bossing people around- asking them 50 times “where r u- why aren’t you answering”.
Once I woke up and saw it ( over girl drama) I felt negligent and naive at how much these girls are nasty.
So nip it in bud. Discuss all sides and how things can make a person feel. You know the golden rules stuff.
Good for the teacher for not just blowing it off as “girl drama”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your daughter A or in C-H?

She’s C-H

You should be concerned about your daughter's friendship with A who seems like a real shit stirrer. Luckily the other girls weren't having it and did the right thing with friend B.

We don’t know who the instigator is. It could be A, B, or even C-H.

The idea that there's one instigator and everyone else is innocent is so false. It almost never happens that way. A could have been very wrong to say what she did, and C-H can also be wrong to humiliate B by repeating it in front of the class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids learn they can behave like this because parents like you don't care. This time it may not have been your daughters fault but next time it might be.

You’re probably the type of person who wouldn’t tell a friend you saw their spouse cheating too, huh?

Wrong person. I told my mom my dad was cheating multiple times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Clearly if the teacher is calling you about it, your daughter isn't telling you the full story. I would call her back and her what she has to say.

+1 Former teacher. Teachers don’t get involved in day to day petty drama (they are experts and have experience). Do you think they want to spend their free time this way? No. It’s clearly something. Have some respect and call back.

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Clearly if the teacher is calling you about it, your daughter isn't telling you the full story. I would call her back and her what she has to say.

+1 Former teacher. Teachers don’t get involved in day to day petty drama (they are experts and have experience). Do you think they want to spend their free time this way? No. It’s clearly something. Have some respect and call back.

+2

This. You should thank the teacher for even contacting you. Most do not want to get involved even when it is serious because plenty of parents shoot the messenger and no good deed goes unpunished. This about your child's emotional development. If you don't intervene now she won't learn to be more appropriate and as she gets older it will cause more problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your daughter A or in C-H?

She’s C-H

You should be concerned about your daughter's friendship with A who seems like a real shit stirrer. Luckily the other girls weren't having it and did the right thing with friend B.

We don’t know who the instigator is. It could be A, B, or even C-H.

The idea that there's one instigator and everyone else is innocent is so false. It almost never happens that way. A could have been very wrong to say what she did, and C-H can also be wrong to humiliate B by repeating it in front of the class.

Ok, sweet pea.