Wwyd girl drama/teacher call?

[Anonymous]

Got a voicemail, teacher calling to tell me DD11/5th is in the middle of girl drama. Girl Group consists of Girls A-H, Girl A told C-H that she no longer likes Girl B, doesn’t want to be friends anymore. Group “didn’t want to keep the secrets as gossip and/or still wanted to include B in friend group” and told B, who started crying in front of teacher. (The quoted is my DD version. Basically they didn’t want to exclude B and thought she should know what A said.)

Teacher wants me to call back when I can do we can discuss. I think it sounds like it was handled just fine. The group as a whole stood up for B, though hurt her feelings in the process. Nothing about this feels malicious. But how should I best word this to teacher without sounding nonchalant or like I don’t care (I really don’t care in this instance, seems like a normal social learning situation.)

[Anonymous]

Reach out - there may be more / a pattern that she is seeing

[Anonymous]

Is your daughter A or in C-H?

[Anonymous]

You need to call back the teacher and give consequences to your child depending on what the teacher says.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is your daughter A or in C-H?

She’s C-H

[Anonymous]

Yeah that sounds like your daughter tried to be a mean girl/ queen bee/ whatever, and her friends were like, no.

Her friends also clearly wanted some drama since they told girl B the whole thing though.

Sounds like they’re all pretty catty. As in, normal 5th grade girls! This sounds mean, and normal , and it sounds like your daughter probably learned her lesson, so I would let the teacher lead the conversation- see exactly what she thinks the issue is. Sounds like the kids handled it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah that sounds like your daughter tried to be a mean girl/ queen bee/ whatever, and her friends were like, no.

Her friends also clearly wanted some drama since they told girl B the whole thing though.

Sounds like they’re all pretty catty. As in, normal 5th grade girls! This sounds mean, and normal , and it sounds like your daughter probably learned her lesson, so I would let the teacher lead the conversation- see exactly what she thinks the issue is. Sounds like the kids handled it.

My daughter wasn’t A.

[Anonymous]

^^just saw that your daughter isn’t even friend A. I have no idea then. Unless telling this to girl B was done really maliciously and purposely to hurt her feelings. In which case , yeah, that’s pretty awful

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your daughter A or in C-H?

She’s C-H

You should be concerned about your daughter's friendship with A who seems like a real shit stirrer. Luckily the other girls weren't having it and did the right thing with friend B.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your daughter A or in C-H?

She’s C-H

You should be concerned about your daughter's friendship with A who seems like a real shit stirrer. Luckily the other girls weren't having it and did the right thing with friend B.

No they didn’t! They told friend B that friend A was talking trash about her, in a way that made her cry in front of the class. THATS shit stirring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your daughter A or in C-H?

She’s C-H

You should be concerned about your daughter's friendship with A who seems like a real shit stirrer. Luckily the other girls weren't having it and did the right thing with friend B.

No they didn’t! They told friend B that friend A was talking trash about her, in a way that made her cry in front of the class. THATS shit stirring.

But A was talking trash.

[Anonymous]

I think you should give the teacher the courtesy of listening to her side of the story before you decide it's something you don't care about, or not malicious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^just saw that your daughter isn’t even friend A. I have no idea then. Unless telling this to girl B was done really maliciously and purposely to hurt her feelings. In which case , yeah, that’s pretty awful

Sorry, I thought I mentioned in my OP that DD wasn’t A or B. It’s been a long week! Thanks for sticking with me!

According to DD, A was trying to get the group to “kick out” B, but they didn’t want to do that, but also didn’t want to keep what A said a secret, or “gossip” as DD put it. They didn’t want to hide it from their friend, so they told her what A said, and that she was safe with the group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^just saw that your daughter isn’t even friend A. I have no idea then. Unless telling this to girl B was done really maliciously and purposely to hurt her feelings. In which case , yeah, that’s pretty awful

Sorry, I thought I mentioned in my OP that DD wasn’t A or B. It’s been a long week! Thanks for sticking with me!

According to DD, A was trying to get the group to “kick out” B, but they didn’t want to do that, but also didn’t want to keep what A said a secret, or “gossip” as DD put it. They didn’t want to hide it from their friend, so they told her what A said, and that she was safe with the group.

Great. Now hear what the teacher has to say and go from there.

[Anonymous]

Kids learn they can behave like this because parents like you don't care. This time it may not have been your daughters fault but next time it might be.