s/o What from your pre-kid life best prepared you for being a parent?

[Anonymous]

Nothing. It was a total shock to my system and not in a good way.

[Anonymous]

What prepped me to be a success as a parent is to have a spouse who was capable. Both DH and I were great cooks, could run a house, wanted kids, were responsible people, were giving people. We had a kid after many years of marriage by choice (8 years) and we did not feel trapped into parenthood. We enjoyed having a kid.

Also, we were absolutely aces in outsourcing stuff we did not like and we had a crew of support staff. We are never without good help.

[Anonymous]

Nothing prepares you and anyone who says otherwise is fooling only themselves
- Former camp counselor, babysitter, multiple pet owner pre-kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothing prepares you and anyone who says otherwise is fooling only themselves
- Former camp counselor, babysitter, multiple pet owner pre-kids

I don’t agree. Nothing could prepare you for the emotional side but obviously various baby skills and general knowledge do prepare you better than none. I wasn’t fooling myself, PP. What I already knew definitely made parenting easier for me than my wife (who snapped the onesie under the diaper).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I knew the mechanics of child care - feeding, diapering, etc - from babysitting. But nothing prepared me for how physically exhausting parenting is. I also wasn’t prepared for the relentlessness of parenting. Especially small, at risk kids during a pandemic.

In other ways, yeah. I have a lot of knowledge and experience in education, which has helped in some ways (and not in others).

There are no words for the relentlessness of it all.

Every other challenge of my life has had an end date, or I could carve out breaks for myself. As a parent it’s so hard and even when I make plans for myself, they often get ruined.

[Anonymous]

Full time nanny, sleep consultant, post partum doula, and night nanny for 15 years before becoming a mom myself!

My DH had never held a baby or changed a diaper. It was quiet the dynamic between us.

[Anonymous]

Agree with the nothing posters. Literally nothing will prepare you. Sure you can read experience tiredness get baby gear but the answer is simple, nothing.

The experience is too complex to prepare for even a bit. I just had my second and it’s “easy” because it’s not that first child shock.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely nothing. I had younger siblings (much younger - they were born when I was a tween/teen) and babysat. I couldn’t even keep a houseplant alive. I think the only people who might be somewhat prepared are daycare workers/nannies, educators, and child psychologists - but even then, the knowledge is more theoretical.

You really can’t prepare.

I find this attitude baffling. Of course you can prepare. Will anything ever be exactly like being a parent? No, of course not. But there's nothing like being a brain surgeon, either. And yet brain surgeons spend years preparing to do brain surgery. Of course you can prepare.

Also, having kids isn't just about the infant and little kid years. A daycare worker might be great with babies and toddlers but totally flummoxed by a 10 year old having social issues at school. Likewise, there are people who don't like or get the baby/toddler years but are amazing with elementary, middle, or high school kids, because some aspect of their personality (or some prior experience, or both) helps them key into the needs of those ages.

Of course you can prepare to be a parent. One could argue that if you become a parent, literally everything that happened prior to that moment was preparation. I absolutely think my own childhood was preparation for parenthood, for instance, and those experiences continue to help me maintain empathy for my kids.

I'm in the "you can't prepare" boat. Of course you will live your life and have experiences, but there is really no need at all to try to seek out experiences to prepare you for parenthood.

Beyond things that you should do whether or not you have kids, like work on mental / physcial health issues, therapy if you needed it, get finances in order. Then, you meet your kids and figure out what they need from you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with the nothing posters. Literally nothing will prepare you. Sure you can read experience tiredness get baby gear but the answer is simple, nothing.

The experience is too complex to prepare for even a bit. I just had my second and it’s “easy” because it’s not that first child shock.

If your second was easy that you’re proving you can prepare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Full time nanny, sleep consultant, post partum doula, and night nanny for 15 years before becoming a mom myself!

My DH had never held a baby or changed a diaper. It was quiet the dynamic between us.

There is no way this poster was as unprepared as I was. Absolutely no way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with the nothing posters. Literally nothing will prepare you. Sure you can read experience tiredness get baby gear but the answer is simple, nothing.

The experience is too complex to prepare for even a bit. I just had my second and it’s “easy” because it’s not that first child shock.

If your second was easy that you’re proving you can prepare.

I’m this poster but that’s the point only a kid can prepare you nothing I did prepared me for my first and I did everything I could and read and researched and experienced.

[Anonymous]

Maturity and self-awareness prepared me. I knew I would need help and guidance and had no qualms asking for what I needed. When breastfeeding wasn’t going well in the beginning, I immediately got help, When I couldn’t handle the sleep deprivation any more, I got a night nanny for a couple nights a week. When I went back to work (I work from home) I hired a wonderful educated nanny. DH was ready and took over everything in the house - all cleaning and cooking and errands - and I feed and cuddled my baby. I expected no more from myself than that.

Here’s what I didn’t know: I had no idea that I could ever love that much.

[Anonymous]

Military service in general tends to make people a little more resilient and adaptable to new and challenging circumstances. It did for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with the nothing posters. Literally nothing will prepare you. Sure you can read experience tiredness get baby gear but the answer is simple, nothing.

The experience is too complex to prepare for even a bit. I just had my second and it’s “easy” because it’s not that first child shock.

If your second was easy that you’re proving you can prepare.

I’m this poster but that’s the point only a kid can prepare you nothing I did prepared me for my first and I did everything I could and read and researched and experienced.

You don’t think if you’d had real hands on experience as a nanny and night nanny like the poster above, you wouldn’t have been more prepared?

[Anonymous]

Becoming a licensed psychologist, which gave me a lot of useful knowledge about child development and stress management (and clinical skills that come in handy).

Rowing on various competitive teams for demanding, difficult coaches. Being able to tolerate the early hours, physical discomfort, and tedium of it all was helpful.