Tired of people telling my son he has a “terrible” birthday

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe sports just aren’t for him then if it bothers him. He should grow thicker skin

I agree that he probably needs to grow some thicker skin and find things he likes about the time of year he was born.

/fellow February birthday person

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one is going on and on about it. It may be mentioned by someone or someone’s but that’s it. It isn’t like this is raised every single time your kid practices.

Agree. And I’m doubtful that OP’s son is expressing any bad feelings about his birthday that is 2 months away. OP sounds a bit overly invested in this narrative.

Glad you two know more about what’s going on with my kid and how he’s feeling than I do. Especially since you’ve never met him.

Look, it sucks to see your 10 year old kid dreading his birthday. There is one coach in particular who only cares about winning age group champs, the rest are much better and focus on long term development. This coach seems almost angry with my son for aging up, because in general he is scoring tons of points for the team. Luckily aging up also means he will move to a new coach.

Not sure why I would make this stuff up. My point was that this is a sport, and it’s for fun, and there is zero need for a fifth grader to be made to feel bad for being born in February.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I actually planned what months my kids would be born in.

Congratulations?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually planned what months my kids would be born in.

Congratulations?

.thanks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one is going on and on about it. It may be mentioned by someone or someone’s but that’s it. It isn’t like this is raised every single time your kid practices.

Why do you think you have any idea what’s going on?

Because I have swimmers and teens and a swimmer with a bad birthday. You really think kids, coaches and parents are going on and on and on to this kid about his birthday?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one is going on and on about it. It may be mentioned by someone or someone’s but that’s it. It isn’t like this is raised every single time your kid practices.

Why do you think you have any idea what’s going on?

Because I have swimmers and teens and a swimmer with a bad birthday. You really think kids, coaches and parents are going on and on and on to this kid about his birthday?

Literally no one said anyone was “going on and on and on.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one is going on and on about it. It may be mentioned by someone or someone’s but that’s it. It isn’t like this is raised every single time your kid practices.

Why do you think you have any idea what’s going on?

Because I have swimmers and teens and a swimmer with a bad birthday. You really think kids, coaches and parents are going on and on and on to this kid about his birthday?

Literally no one said anyone was “going on and on and on.”

Paraphrasing this: course champs, NCSA, but…. there is nothing anyone can do about it. He can’t change when he was born. “Coaches, other swimmers, other parents have been all over him recently (I guess because his birthday is coming up”)

[Anonymous]

How do you know he’d place top in the state?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one is going on and on about it. It may be mentioned by someone or someone’s but that’s it. It isn’t like this is raised every single time your kid practices.

Agree. And I’m doubtful that OP’s son is expressing any bad feelings about his birthday that is 2 months away. OP sounds a bit overly invested in this narrative.

Glad you two know more about what’s going on with my kid and how he’s feeling than I do. Especially since you’ve never met him.

Look, it sucks to see your 10 year old kid dreading his birthday. There is one coach in particular who only cares about winning age group champs, the rest are much better and focus on long term development. This coach seems almost angry with my son for aging up, because in general he is scoring tons of points for the team. Luckily aging up also means he will move to a new coach.

Not sure why I would make this stuff up. My point was that this is a sport, and it’s for fun, and there is zero need for a fifth grader to be made to feel bad for being born in February.

You’re the one saying parents and swimmers were also “all over him” about his Bday and aging up. The story, as presented initially, doesn’t ring true. What swim parents would go on and on about this unless taking your lead (and you’re raising it first)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you know he’d place top in the state?

In swimming, times are published and USA swimming has a database ranking every registered swimmer. Most states have their own database as well. It is public knowledge where your swimmer ranks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one is going on and on about it. It may be mentioned by someone or someone’s but that’s it. It isn’t like this is raised every single time your kid practices.

Agree. And I’m doubtful that OP’s son is expressing any bad feelings about his birthday that is 2 months away. OP sounds a bit overly invested in this narrative.

Glad you two know more about what’s going on with my kid and how he’s feeling than I do. Especially since you’ve never met him.

Look, it sucks to see your 10 year old kid dreading his birthday. There is one coach in particular who only cares about winning age group champs, the rest are much better and focus on long term development. This coach seems almost angry with my son for aging up, because in general he is scoring tons of points for the team. Luckily aging up also means he will move to a new coach.

Not sure why I would make this stuff up. My point was that this is a sport, and it’s for fun, and there is zero need for a fifth grader to be made to feel bad for being born in February.

You’re the one saying parents and swimmers were also “all over him” about his Bday and aging up. The story, as presented initially, doesn’t ring true. What swim parents would go on and on about this unless taking your lead (and you’re raising it first)?

I don’t know what to tell you. I am not bringing it up but I had two parents approach me at pickup today after practice with sad faces and saying how much it sucks that my kid ages up before champs and won’t be with the current group placing top in age group. Then my son came out of practice feeling down about a comment from the coach. Aging up in swimming is a big deal and people talk about it. Just because you haven’t had the same experience doesn’t mean you know anything about what’s going on with a kid you’ve never met. What do you mean when you say, “ the story, as presented initially, doesn’t ring true?” It’s not a “story,” it’s what is going in in my kid’s life. I have no reason to lie about it.

[Anonymous]

Youth sports have different cut off dates and they are important -- for youth sports. You can go to soccer websites today and people will still be complaining about the switch in the age cutoff from August 1 (only in the US) to January 1 (used everywhere else). Its only been about 10 years now.

The reality is that date cutoffs will still be important up until the time when kids are looking at competing in college. Then -- the only thing that matters is your kid's grade. Ideally you want a kid who is old for their grade, but February is pretty good middle of the road territory. College coaches recruit based on grade. Your kid will turn 18 in February his senior year. Not super good -- you could hold him back -- but certainly better than turning 18 when you are already at college.

The reality for youth sports is that age, and relative age, make a big difference. That difference lessens over time, but you are really talking early 20s for guys before it all evens out. Why? Lots of guys are not done growing until their early 20s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one is going on and on about it. It may be mentioned by someone or someone’s but that’s it. It isn’t like this is raised every single time your kid practices.

Agree. And I’m doubtful that OP’s son is expressing any bad feelings about his birthday that is 2 months away. OP sounds a bit overly invested in this narrative.

Glad you two know more about what’s going on with my kid and how he’s feeling than I do. Especially since you’ve never met him.

Look, it sucks to see your 10 year old kid dreading his birthday. There is one coach in particular who only cares about winning age group champs, the rest are much better and focus on long term development. This coach seems almost angry with my son for aging up, because in general he is scoring tons of points for the team. Luckily aging up also means he will move to a new coach.

Not sure why I would make this stuff up. My point was that this is a sport, and it’s for fun, and there is zero need for a fifth grader to be made to feel bad for being born in February.

You’re the one saying parents and swimmers were also “all over him” about his Bday and aging up. The story, as presented initially, doesn’t ring true. What swim parents would go on and on about this unless taking your lead (and you’re raising it first)?

I don’t know what to tell you. I am not bringing it up but I had two parents approach me at pickup today after practice with sad faces and saying how much it sucks that my kid ages up before champs and won’t be with the current group placing top in age group. Then my son came out of practice feeling down about a comment from the coach. Aging up in swimming is a big deal and people talk about it. Just because you haven’t had the same experience doesn’t mean you know anything about what’s going on with a kid you’ve never met. What do you mean when you say, “ the story, as presented initially, doesn’t ring true?” It’s not a “story,” it’s what is going in in my kid’s life. I have no reason to lie about it.

OP, you are extremely over invested in both your kid’s swimming and this situation. If your kid is truly dreading his birthday, you need to make adjustments in his life and the way the family values sports accomplishments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one is going on and on about it. It may be mentioned by someone or someone’s but that’s it. It isn’t like this is raised every single time your kid practices.

Agree. And I’m doubtful that OP’s son is expressing any bad feelings about his birthday that is 2 months away. OP sounds a bit overly invested in this narrative.

Glad you two know more about what’s going on with my kid and how he’s feeling than I do. Especially since you’ve never met him.

Look, it sucks to see your 10 year old kid dreading his birthday. There is one coach in particular who only cares about winning age group champs, the rest are much better and focus on long term development. This coach seems almost angry with my son for aging up, because in general he is scoring tons of points for the team. Luckily aging up also means he will move to a new coach.

Not sure why I would make this stuff up. My point was that this is a sport, and it’s for fun, and there is zero need for a fifth grader to be made to feel bad for being born in February.

You’re the one saying parents and swimmers were also “all over him” about his Bday and aging up. The story, as presented initially, doesn’t ring true. What swim parents would go on and on about this unless taking your lead (and you’re raising it first)?

I don’t know what to tell you. I am not bringing it up but I had two parents approach me at pickup today after practice with sad faces and saying how much it sucks that my kid ages up before champs and won’t be with the current group placing top in age group. Then my son came out of practice feeling down about a comment from the coach. Aging up in swimming is a big deal and people talk about it. Just because you haven’t had the same experience doesn’t mean you know anything about what’s going on with a kid you’ve never met. What do you mean when you say, “ the story, as presented initially, doesn’t ring true?” It’s not a “story,” it’s what is going in in my kid’s life. I have no reason to lie about it.

Be thankful. My son has a worse birthday and you’ll see that from 13+ it is much, much harder.

Example:

10 and under jo cut for a boy, 50 free: 32.59
That’s about a second and a half slower than an A time.

11-12 year old boy jo cut, 50 free: 28.39
Slower than an A time

13-14 year old boy jo cut, 50 free 24.99
That’s faster than an A time, but slower than an AA time.

It is what it is. Why bemoan about this? Teach him how to handle it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one is going on and on about it. It may be mentioned by someone or someone’s but that’s it. It isn’t like this is raised every single time your kid practices.

Agree. And I’m doubtful that OP’s son is expressing any bad feelings about his birthday that is 2 months away. OP sounds a bit overly invested in this narrative.

Glad you two know more about what’s going on with my kid and how he’s feeling than I do. Especially since you’ve never met him.

Look, it sucks to see your 10 year old kid dreading his birthday. There is one coach in particular who only cares about winning age group champs, the rest are much better and focus on long term development. This coach seems almost angry with my son for aging up, because in general he is scoring tons of points for the team. Luckily aging up also means he will move to a new coach.

Not sure why I would make this stuff up. My point was that this is a sport, and it’s for fun, and there is zero need for a fifth grader to be made to feel bad for being born in February.

You’re the one saying parents and swimmers were also “all over him” about his Bday and aging up. The story, as presented initially, doesn’t ring true. What swim parents would go on and on about this unless taking your lead (and you’re raising it first)?

I don’t know what to tell you. I am not bringing it up but I had two parents approach me at pickup today after practice with sad faces and saying how much it sucks that my kid ages up before champs and won’t be with the current group placing top in age group. Then my son came out of practice feeling down about a comment from the coach. Aging up in swimming is a big deal and people talk about it. Just because you haven’t had the same experience doesn’t mean you know anything about what’s going on with a kid you’ve never met. What do you mean when you say, “ the story, as presented initially, doesn’t ring true?” It’s not a “story,” it’s what is going in in my kid’s life. I have no reason to lie about it.

Be thankful. My son has a worse birthday and you’ll see that from 13+ it is much, much harder.

Example:

10 and under jo cut for a boy, 50 free: 32.59
That’s about a second and a half slower than an A time.

11-12 year old boy jo cut, 50 free: 28.39
Slower than an A time

13-14 year old boy jo cut, 50 free 24.99
That’s faster than an A time, but slower than an AA time.

It is what it is. Why bemoan about this? Teach him how to handle it.

This doesn’t make sense for multiple reasons. First, how is the birthday worse? Early March? Doubt four weeks makes much difference when you’re talking 11 month differences. Second, if your kids is really good, it’s definitely not worse at 13+. Specific age starts to matter much less as they start to qualify for senior events. The best swimmers aren’t worried about age group cuts at 13-14.