If your In Laws were awful, did you forgive them?

[Anonymous]

I think I’ve posted this before but… on the day after DH and I got engaged, which was before caller ID was a big thing, i called my MIL and she didn’t realize it was me on the phone.

Me- “Isn’t this exciting?!”
MIL- “It’s a bit soon in my opinion but he didn’t ask me.”
Me- “What? Do you know who this is?”
MIL- Lots of stammering and hugs
Me- “Let’s pretend this conversation never happened.” And I hung up.

I’ve never told DH about it and never will. My MIL has selective amnesia so has probably wiped the memory from her mind forever. I’m very close with my ILs and love them very much but no I will never forget it.

[Anonymous]

If someone is causing ongoing harm and isn’t at all apologetic about it, there’s no need to wipe the slate clean and allow that person to continue to cause the same harm. That’s called being a doormat. Often the recipient of the poor behavior is more reasonable than the person dishing it out. The more reasonable person is prevailed upon to “keep the peace” because it feels easier to bystanders than choosing to stand up to the unreasonable behavior. That’s revictimization and more than unfair. It also reinforces the poor behavior because the consequences are always borne by someone else.

Forgive if you feel you have it in your heart, but don’t forget your MiL’s true nature, and don’t forget to have reasonable boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think I’ve posted this before but… on the day after DH and I got engaged, which was before caller ID was a big thing, i called my MIL and she didn’t realize it was me on the phone.

Me- “Isn’t this exciting?!”
MIL- “It’s a bit soon in my opinion but he didn’t ask me.”
Me- “What? Do you know who this is?”
MIL- Lots of stammering and hugs
Me- “Let’s pretend this conversation never happened.” And I hung up.

I’ve never told DH about it and never will. My MIL has selective amnesia so has probably wiped the memory from her mind forever. I’m very close with my ILs and love them very much but no I will never forget it.

Idk. This doesn’t seem like such a big deal to me. She didn’t say she was disappointed or that you weren’t the right one. She was just concerned it was too soon. Seems like a totally reasonable parental concern.