Do men who become wealthy upgrade their partner?

[Anonymous]

Mine didn't upgrade, but he got an inflated ego and started treating me like an employee rather than a wife. I noped on outta there.

He's not very attractive and still insufferable, so no idea if he's "upgraded" or not.

But I'm remarried to a very attractive and kind man who is literally everything I've ever wanted. So I'd say I definitely ungraded.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

it cannot spark interest and desire from a wife who feels abandoned because the husband was on calls or working until 9 PM.

I get the appeal of someone new, but it just sucks to go through all the "hard part" of marriage... the underpaid early years, maybe both spouses working hard, babies/toddlers, home buying, etc. To put in all the foundation work so to speak, and then be traded for a newer shinier model. In your scenario the husband was prioritizing career over wife/kids, and then gets to a more comfortable spot and abandons her. It's sad.

It is really sad but one spouse or the other often forgets that there’s a cost to everything. By the time Easystreet comes around the resentful partner must let go of whatever hurt they may be harboring because of the sacrifices one of you made, if you can’t let go you’re doomed. We’ve seen it play out a dozen times, wife loses interest in husband, husband loses interest in wife and pretty soon random employees and tennis instructors are filling the needs that they used to fill for each other. The only good point is the wife has been there from the broke beginning and should be able to walk away with a good split. Lather, rinse and repeat with their new partners but this time it won’t take 25 years, it will start to fail around year seven.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

it cannot spark interest and desire from a wife who feels abandoned because the husband was on calls or working until 9 PM.

I get the appeal of someone new, but it just sucks to go through all the "hard part" of marriage... the underpaid early years, maybe both spouses working hard, babies/toddlers, home buying, etc. To put in all the foundation work so to speak, and then be traded for a newer shinier model. In your scenario the husband was prioritizing career over wife/kids, and then gets to a more comfortable spot and abandons her. It's sad.

It happens all the time. Look below.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10019553/Billionaire-John-Paulson-65-starts-dating-Instagram-dietician-33-filing-divorce.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

it cannot spark interest and desire from a wife who feels abandoned because the husband was on calls or working until 9 PM.

I get the appeal of someone new, but it just sucks to go through all the "hard part" of marriage... the underpaid early years, maybe both spouses working hard, babies/toddlers, home buying, etc. To put in all the foundation work so to speak, and then be traded for a newer shinier model. In your scenario the husband was prioritizing career over wife/kids, and then gets to a more comfortable spot and abandons her. It's sad.

Of course it’s sad. And yet you see so many people here advising young women to “lock it down” and “get in on the ground floor.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

it cannot spark interest and desire from a wife who feels abandoned because the husband was on calls or working until 9 PM.

I get the appeal of someone new, but it just sucks to go through all the "hard part" of marriage... the underpaid early years, maybe both spouses working hard, babies/toddlers, home buying, etc. To put in all the foundation work so to speak, and then be traded for a newer shinier model. In your scenario the husband was prioritizing career over wife/kids, and then gets to a more comfortable spot and abandons her. It's sad.

Of course it’s sad. And yet you see so many people here advising young women to “lock it down” and “get in on the ground floor.”

Yep. The wives do the hard and thankless job of keeping it together so that the men can focus on work only and still get the benefit of having a family.

Not sure what is the solution for women except to keep their careers and keep the men accountable for some aspects of kid/ family life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

it cannot spark interest and desire from a wife who feels abandoned because the husband was on calls or working until 9 PM.

I get the appeal of someone new, but it just sucks to go through all the "hard part" of marriage... the underpaid early years, maybe both spouses working hard, babies/toddlers, home buying, etc. To put in all the foundation work so to speak, and then be traded for a newer shinier model. In your scenario the husband was prioritizing career over wife/kids, and then gets to a more comfortable spot and abandons her. It's sad.

Of course it’s sad. And yet you see so many people here advising young women to “lock it down” and “get in on the ground floor.”

You bring up a good point. What do you recommend for women instead?

[Anonymous]

pre nup

[Anonymous]

My husband didn’t, but I knew when I married him that he was loyal and had strong morals. That said, life happens. Our marriage isn’t great so I wouldn’t blame him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

it cannot spark interest and desire from a wife who feels abandoned because the husband was on calls or working until 9 PM.

I get the appeal of someone new, but it just sucks to go through all the "hard part" of marriage... the underpaid early years, maybe both spouses working hard, babies/toddlers, home buying, etc. To put in all the foundation work so to speak, and then be traded for a newer shinier model. In your scenario the husband was prioritizing career over wife/kids, and then gets to a more comfortable spot and abandons her. It's sad.

Of course it’s sad. And yet you see so many people here advising young women to “lock it down” and “get in on the ground floor.”

You bring up a good point. What do you recommend for women instead?

NP, but I’d recommend focusing on your career and your life, and then finding a man who shares your same values and vision.

Now, if a woman values only material goods and wants an extravagent lifestyle, nothing wrong with that. But she’ll likely marry a man with the same values, so when he upgrades his wife like she upgrades her wardrobe, it is what it is.

But for the majority of us, making a good salary and being married to a good person brings the most happiness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The funny thing is, some downgrade. Jeff Bezos is exhibit A.

But you have no idea what his wife was like to be married to. Perhaps for Jeff, wife B is a major upgrade. No one knows what goes on inside a marriage other than the two people in it.

This. Have you SEEN his new woman? What a body! Lauren Sanchez was a MAJOR upgrade over Wife #1. Sanchez doesn't bother him about ethics or treating people or whatever. She's the life of the party, creates an amazing social life for him, and rocks his world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The best thing you can do is protect yourself and ‘never say never.’

My mom taught me this. Always have your own income and savings. It served me well.

My mom and dad preached this to us. My sister, brother and I all have our own retirement and income. My husband went to making what I did to near 7 figures and I kept my income.

+1M. From an early age, my parents always taught me (and my brother) to always be able to take care of ourselves, no matter what. I am so glad I grew up with that mentality and it stuck with me. But TBH, I have highly educated friends with advanced degrees from top schools, and only one of them is a SAHM (and she is looking to reenter the workforce now, after a few years off). Everyone else works, and most of them full time in high stress jobs like biglaw partners or medicine. Maybe I'd feel differently if I had mostly SAHM friends, idk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The funny thing is, some downgrade. Jeff Bezos is exhibit A.

But you have no idea what his wife was like to be married to. Perhaps for Jeff, wife B is a major upgrade. No one knows what goes on inside a marriage other than the two people in it.

This. Have you SEEN his new woman? What a body! Lauren Sanchez was a MAJOR upgrade over Wife #1. Sanchez doesn't bother him about ethics or treating people or whatever. She's the life of the party, creates an amazing social life for him, and rocks his world.

The new woman has a weird, plastic surgery face and seems to have an annoying, hyper-sexual personality.

[Anonymous]

Although perhaps not wealthy by DCUM standards, I know four male doctors whose wives helped put them through med school but then were dumped for younger women (nurses in two cases, receptionists in the other two cases) when their husbands were in their 40s/50s. In all four cases the doctors used their on-call schedules to cover their cheating, in at least two of the cases they cheated for years with various women before divorcing.

All are very talented doctors so it seemed to me that they let the praise go to their heads. I also think their schedules and the many available younger women made it easier, too. That said, all four blew up their relationships with their kids, primarily because the kids were ticked to learn that their dads missed important school events not because of medical emergencies but because they were cheating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The funny thing is, some downgrade. Jeff Bezos is exhibit A.

But you have no idea what his wife was like to be married to. Perhaps for Jeff, wife B is a major upgrade. No one knows what goes on inside a marriage other than the two people in it.

This. Have you SEEN his new woman? What a body! Lauren Sanchez was a MAJOR upgrade over Wife #1. Sanchez doesn't bother him about ethics or treating people or whatever. She's the life of the party, creates an amazing social life for him, and rocks his world.

I have seen her thus my comment…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:pre nup

Haaaaaahaaaaa

Must of my wealthy friends were making peanuts along with their husbands when they met in their 20s and married right before 30. I actually made more than my husband at the time.

It’s the years of building wealth. My salary plateaued at $165k and his got up to $500k.

We couldn’t foresee at 27/28 when we both had nothing.