My husband works 16-18 hours per day

[Anonymous]

I make 90k and work a WAY lower-stress job than this. (It can be intense, but never 16-18h days.) He needs to leave. This is a great time to look for a job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does your husband want to do about the situation?

OP here. I've been nicely encouraging him to explore other options but we have a hard time having an open conversation because he is always so busy and stressed. It feels like he (understandably) has zero mental capacity left to talk to me. And I think updating his resume after 10 years and job searching feels insurmountable on top of the work load right now. He is fiercely loyal (to a fault in this situation) and is proud of how long that he's been at the company. We both came from blue collar union families with pensions and the mentality of "put in my 30 years here and retire" and I'm trying to help him understand that it is very, very normal in the business world to work for several companies over your career. This is the company he interned with in college and then they hired him after graduation.

I am the PP whose DH quit at the start of the pandemic. This was exactly my DH. Worked at that job for 10 years and loved his team, the clients but not the management, who had a small firm, quasi-startup mentality even though this was not a startup. The thought of going back into the job hunting pool, going through interviews and having to “sell” his skills again was daunting. But he did it and was so much happier now. That first step is hard but once your DH makes that first move, he won’t regret it. sometimes you have to close one door in order to walk through another.

Kudos to you for being supportive. Good luck. Keep us posted here.

[Anonymous]

His company is severely exploiting him. Like an increasingly abusive relationship, he's so beaten down and exhausted, he can't even thing clearly as to how to change the situation.

He should go in promptly and tell boss, this is unacceptable going forward. that he will begin working 40 hours per week, and the company is responsible for managing the overall workload. And he is taking a 2 week vacation immediately. Then he should use that vacation to look for a new job.

[Anonymous]

He should quit. His hourly is pathetic.

[Anonymous]

What does your DH do? That can help us figure out what local companies/jobs he can go to.

If he is going to put in this sort of time, he should at least look for 1. a job that pays overtime or 2. a job where that hard work comes back to you in the form of bonus or commission that's directly tied to what you put in.

[Anonymous]

Dr. Fauchi works 16 hours a day and took zero vacation days on last 18 months and turns 81 this month.

Toughen up folks

[Anonymous]

My jaw also hit the floor when I got to the $95k part.

I hate to say this OP but your DH is a SUCKER. Why. Why. Why. And if he leaves tomorrow, in a couple of weeks no one will think about him again.

He needs to talk to his boss and tell him he's not doing it anymore and say if things are not addressed within a certain timeframe, he is leaving. And then mean it. It's a great job market. He'll find another job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does your husband want to do about the situation?

OP here. I've been nicely encouraging him to explore other options but we have a hard time having an open conversation because he is always so busy and stressed. It feels like he (understandably) has zero mental capacity left to talk to me. And I think updating his resume after 10 years and job searching feels insurmountable on top of the work load right now. He is fiercely loyal (to a fault in this situation) and is proud of how long that he's been at the company. We both came from blue collar union families with pensions and the mentality of "put in my 30 years here and retire" and I'm trying to help him understand that it is very, very normal in the business world to work for several companies over your career. This is the company he interned with in college and then they hired him after graduation.

He needs to be more loyal to his family and his health. This is a complete farce and he's an idiot if he thinks this kind of one way "loyalty" is admirable. He sounds stubborn and prideful. I'd consider divorce if he doesn't make a change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dr. Fauchi works 16 hours a day and took zero vacation days on last 18 months and turns 81 this month.

Toughen up folks

Yes that’s totally the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dr. Fauchi works 16 hours a day and took zero vacation days on last 18 months and turns 81 this month.



Toughen up folks

I bet he gets a pretty penny more than $95K for his work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dr. Fauchi works 16 hours a day and took zero vacation days on last 18 months and turns 81 this month.



Toughen up folks

I bet he gets a pretty penny more than $95K for his work.

Fauci is the highest paid federal employee at $434k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dr. Fauchi works 16 hours a day and took zero vacation days on last 18 months and turns 81 this month.



Toughen up folks

I bet he gets a pretty penny more than $95K for his work.

Fauci is the highest paid federal employee at $434k.

Fauci also receives a lot of recognition and respect for what he does.

[Anonymous]

OP, what does your husband do for a living?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does your husband want to do about the situation?

OP here. I've been nicely encouraging him to explore other options but we have a hard time having an open conversation because he is always so busy and stressed. It feels like he (understandably) has zero mental capacity left to talk to me. And I think updating his resume after 10 years and job searching feels insurmountable on top of the work load right now. He is fiercely loyal (to a fault in this situation) and is proud of how long that he's been at the company. We both came from blue collar union families with pensions and the mentality of "put in my 30 years here and retire" and I'm trying to help him understand that it is very, very normal in the business world to work for several companies over your career. This is the company he interned with in college and then they hired him after graduation.

I've been in your shoes, only I was working crazy hours as well as my husband. He did 7am-7pm or 9pm at office, often 7 days a week, although Sundays were a little lighter. Neither of us had energy to meaningfully job search, send a relative stepped in to help him get another job. So my advice is hire someone to do the work for you, to update his resume, update LinkedIn, etc. And tell your friends and family he needs a new job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good lord - I make $95K and would NEVER do this. Ever.

My husband makes $450K and he does this - but that is what is expected for this type of pay. It would never be expected for my type of pay. I am a manager and I would never let my team work like this either.

My DH makes $400k and this lifestyle would be unacceptable in my book. He works 60 hours a week which is at least in the realm of acceptable. I’d rather he go down to $200k and work 35 hours a week (like I do). Money is not worth ruining your life.