SIL and BIL divorcing and BIL angry w me and DH

[Anonymous]

Not sure why your title blames only BIL when from what you describe SIL is equally to blame, she's just playing innocent.

Do not engage in games with either of them. IF you want to be friendly with SIL that is fine but keep it very general, possibly discussing the kids do not discuss BIL or their relationship, period. If she can't respect this you will have to cut ties.

Don't assume that staying close with her means you will be close to your niece and nephew this isn't the 50s or even the 90s anymore and things don't automatically favor the mom. Plus if she's a generally toxic person her kids might not even like her and you being besties with her might ruin your relationship with the kids in the future.

Alot also depends on the age of the kids if they are roughly 13+ they are going to have their own strong opinions about their parents and mom ( or dad) trying to play keep away isn't going to work. If the kids are older and have their own phones I'd start building a relationship with them now,, texting or calling every now and then etc.