Male or female cat if you want friendly, cuddly, affectionate, are the stereotypes true?

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I’d adopt as older kittens/young adults. Shelters are full of them and you can easily get a sense of personalities.

I got literally the nicest, snuggliest cat this way. He was so beloved that a friend asked, and we lent him out, during that friend’s cancer treatment.

More recently we adopted a hilarious loving orange idiot. He’s the best.

[Anonymous]

My own cats do happen to follow the stereotype, but I volunteer at a shelter and have been around enough cats to know that there really is very little relationship between sex and temperament. There are plenty of affectionate cats of both sexes, and plenty of lovable a$$hole cats, too.

[Anonymous]

Agree with others that there is no sex-based difference for spayed cats. They are who they are.

My current two, a male and female, are both extremely dog-like in their friendliness and desire for company. The male cat always wants to be with me, and will sit behind me with his paws on my neck 100% of the time if I’m sitting. Will even try to do this with dining room chairs (he’s not the most coordinated or spatially aware, so I have several scars from these efforts.) He likes our youngest son, but has no interest in DH or the older two. The female cat chooses me first if I’m around, but is otherwise an equal opportunity snuggler. When it’s wakeful times, she patrols the house and catches insects and the occasional mouse. When she’s tired, she wants to be on a lap or have the maximum amount of skin to fur contact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: we are getting from a breeder that socializes them early with kids, dogs, etc. and really strives for a lot of handling/introdutcion to people.

so it's not like a rescue where you dont know the kitten's past or early socialization experiences

Oh OP. I hope you don't think you can fully control what type of cat you get based on breed and sex. Cats don't work that way. They are who they are. You would be better off picking an adult cat if you want to know exactly what their temperament is. Not to mention the fact that you would be saving a life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: we are getting from a breeder that socializes them early with kids, dogs, etc. and really strives for a lot of handling/introdutcion to people.

so it's not like a rescue where you dont know the kitten's past or early socialization experiences

Oh OP. I hope you don't think you can fully control what type of cat you get based on breed and sex. Cats don't work that way. They are who they are. You would be better off picking an adult cat if you want to know exactly what their temperament is. Not to mention the fact that you would be saving a life.

OP here: I do think certain lines from certain parents with breeder socialization etc. makes for more consistent temperament.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. I have had cats my whole life and their sex or color has nothing to do with their temperament. Example: my tortie is a loving angel and my orange male is a dick who will bite randomly

ha that's pretty funny! But in aggregate, studies have shown that there is something to the color. That the torties are on the whole less friendly, and the gold standard is the male orange tabby (I assume neutered). Individual results will vary (for example, we have an Aussie who was given to us because she is too submissive to herd sheep. She has zero herding skills and zero agression. Terrible for a rancher but great for a housepet.)

I agree with a PP who said, get an adult and then there will be no guess as to personality. Like our Aussie.

[Anonymous]

Has anyone had many cats their whole lives who can say they have a direct comparison of boy vs. girl cats?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. I have had cats my whole life and their sex or color has nothing to do with their temperament. Example: my tortie is a loving angel and my orange male is a dick who will bite randomly

As someone else who’s had dozens of cats within the extended family, I agree with this. There’s just way too much variation within the breed/sex/etc for the reputations to have any predictive value. I also value snuggliness over anything else, and have had the best luck with adopting adult cats who were already snuggly. (My first cat hugged my shoulder the first time I picked him up! But if you don’t have enough chance to get to know the cat one-on-one, the adoption staff or foster parents usually can tell you what they’ve seen of each of the cats….)

Second most reliable route has been a very young kitten that you handle gently many, many times a day till they get used to contact enough to seek it out.
I’ve had a few cats who started kittenhood as strays on the street, and there seems to be some point after which they will never truly get used to snuggling. They’re friendly and love to hang out nearby, but they do NOT want to snuggle. Kittens who have been handled from the start are different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone had many cats their whole lives who can say they have a direct comparison of boy vs. girl cats?

Omg read the thread

[Anonymous]

Op, stereotype is true BUT, ideally, you observe the kitten. And for some length of time. Ideally you see them with their litter mates and how they act. But at least see how they act with you.

Their personalities do not change. What they are as kittens, they are as adult cats.

[Anonymous]

Females are more loving

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine followed those stereotypes, but I got my female from someone who rescued her as a stray who had been abused and starving. I got my male as an 8 wk old kitten to keep her company, so they had different backgrounds. I don't know how that affected their personalities.

Hmmm you don't think their background has anyyhing to do with their history? Unbelievable! Of course, being a street cat affected her!

I can not believe people!

Good lord, of course it affected their personalities, what I meant was I don't know in what way it affected them or how it would be different. In no way did I imply that their different backgrounds had no effect. I don't know what the female's personality would have been like if she had led a cushy life starting as a kitten. I also don't know how the male's life would have been different had he led a terrible life as an abused and abandoned suburban cat who was found starving and pregnant. Jeez, use your context clues and don't be so quick to jump to erroneous conclusions.

[Anonymous]

We've had multiple cats over the years. Tended to get females to avoid the potential spraying issues in males. The one male we had was a sweetie, loved him. The females have been all over the map. We found that in general, the more playful a cat is, the less cuddly they are (and vice versa).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We've had multiple cats over the years. Tended to get females to avoid the potential spraying issues in males. The one male we had was a sweetie, loved him. The females have been all over the map. We found that in general, the more playful a cat is, the less cuddly they are (and vice versa).

Also, we always got our cats as young kittens and preferred foster care history vs off the street. The foster care ones were definitely well socialized but the strays almost always retain a sense of skepticism around humans. I wouldn't recommend an adult cat. Very rarely they are fine, like maybe a cat of an elderly person who had died might be ok, but through my experience volunteering at the animal shelter, there was usually some hidden issue with that cat like litterbox issues or not great with kids etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Females are more loving

So are the females more cuddly and snuggly