Is this normal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, these kids are all overtraining, so I'd be glad for the season off and find something else for your kid to do over the winter. He could play rec basketball or take tennis lessons or just enjoy some down time.

Take note of what all the top kids (MLS and ECNL kids) are doing this winter. Plenty add a sport in the winter but most do futsal, indoor, or something soccer related.

[Anonymous]

I just would never make it in the DMV. This stuff is part of why I left. I cannot stand this sort of thing. I would hate everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this normal, yes. Is it right, no. At that age everyone should be given the chance to participate. Sounds like your team is crap and even if it's parents organizing it a real coach invested in his players can let the parents know he expects it to be open to everyone before they go off and form teams. Sounds like he/she is condoning the clique approach. If you think it's just an honest mistake then talk to the coach again and see what he says, but that seems unlikely. For whatever reason, he's not part of the friend group, they don't think he's good enough, or whatever, it sounds like the childish parents running futsal made a decision to exclude him.

Unless you want your child to be miserable not recommended to try to force your way onto one of the teams where he is not wanted--they will find a way to make him suffer for it.

In the long term you have to take this into account when determining if this team is a good fit for your kid. If he gets along with his teammates and the coach and is learning and growing maybe it's just a few crappy parents and you want to stay. Or maybe the issue isn't just limited to the parent sideline and it's time to start looking.

Many of the local futsal leagues have individual signups and others if you contact the league organizer can point you in the direction of any teams looking for more players. Maybe playing with another group over the winter for futsal will be just the eye-opener he needs and maybe even get lucky and make some contacts that could lead to a better team for the spring.

. Op here. We are new to the club. I’m definitely not part of the friend group for sure. My son likes the kids and they seem to like him. There was no communication from the coach or team manager regarding the league. I found out that my son’s friend was on a team but my son wasn’t asked. The futsal team is part of the club but is run by parents I guess. I’ll reach out to the organizers and see if another team is low on players. I’m expecting he won’t play the league this winter.

I was the 1st response to your original post and it looks like most posters - with the exception of the Alexandria poster - disagreed with me and think it is normal. Frankly, this is insane to me. Very few parents have any knowledge or experience with Futsal, so I’d very much question any club that is turning over the setting up of teams - and I guess coaching? - to parents. I’m not sure where you are, but I’d forgo this option anyway, as it will likely just be soccer played on a basketball court. Go find real Futsal training. If you are near any decent sized city, you should be able to find a couple of programs that offer good training.

[Anonymous]

This is when you find a team in the same league with a bunch of ringers, pay a few extra bucks to add your kid to the roster - and kick their ass. Because, after all, most of this is about the parents' egos and not the kids. I'm sure the kids would have been happy to have him.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s normal. I guess it could be a clique thing but most likely no one thinks your kid is good enough or they are at a level where they’re competing for playing time with others, that is, they are a sub.

I do agree you need to reach out to other parents if your kid wants to play bc if he’s not a star player, I don’t think anyone will be reaching out to you to join them.

We are at a small club where most of the regular team will do indoor soccer organized by the club. However, my son is really good and is often recruited by other soccer parent friends year round to play at a variety of futsal/indoor soccer tournaments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just would never make it in the DMV. This stuff is part of why I left. I cannot stand this sort of thing. I would hate everyone.

OP said she was NOT in the DMV soooo, are you moving countries?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, these kids are all overtraining, so I'd be glad for the season off and find something else for your kid to do over the winter. He could play rec basketball or take tennis lessons or just enjoy some down time.

Take note of what all the top kids (MLS and ECNL kids) are doing this winter. Plenty add a sport in the winter but most do futsal, indoor, or something soccer related.

And how many of these "top kids" will be injured in the next year or two from overtraining? Or just burn out from never taking a break?

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's normal at all. Doesn't happen this way at our club.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, these kids are all overtraining, so I'd be glad for the season off and find something else for your kid to do over the winter. He could play rec basketball or take tennis lessons or just enjoy some down time.

Take note of what all the top kids (MLS and ECNL kids) are doing this winter. Plenty add a sport in the winter but most do futsal, indoor, or something soccer related.

And how many of these "top kids" will be injured in the next year or two from overtraining? Or just burn out from never taking a break?

Actually most likely around the same number that don't play soccer/futsal during the winter and play another sport. Most futsal teams hardly even train. How many days a week do you think most futsal teams train?...and pretty much zero kids burnout doing things they are good at and enjoy. I'm still waiting for my kids to burn out from using their phones, Xbox, and/or PS4.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, these kids are all overtraining, so I'd be glad for the season off and find something else for your kid to do over the winter. He could play rec basketball or take tennis lessons or just enjoy some down time.

Take note of what all the top kids (MLS and ECNL kids) are doing this winter. Plenty add a sport in the winter but most do futsal, indoor, or something soccer related.

And how many of these "top kids" will be injured in the next year or two from overtraining? Or just burn out from never taking a break?

Actually most likely around the same number that don't play soccer/futsal during the winter and play another sport. Most futsal teams hardly even train. How many days a week do you think most futsal teams train?...and pretty much zero kids burnout doing things they are good at and enjoy. I'm still waiting for my kids to burn out from using their phones, Xbox, and/or PS4.

Most kids on these teams are not doing futsal during the winter. Only the people selling you futsal are making this claim.

[Anonymous]

Actually most likely around the same number that don't play soccer/futsal during the winter and play another sport. Most futsal teams hardly even train. How many days a week do you think most futsal teams train?...and pretty much zero kids burnout doing things they are good at and enjoy. I'm still waiting for my kids to burn out from using their phones, Xbox, and/or PS4.


Most kids on these teams are not doing futsal during the winter. Only the people selling you futsal are making this claim.

Most kids on our team are doing futsal. The club provides a coach and anyone on the team who wants to do it can participate for a fee (around $80?). Do I think it will make my kid the next Messi? No. Will it help him get some exercise during the winter, given that he has no interest in or hates most other indoor sports? Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Usually winter futsal (and summer leagues/etc) during the off season are not club oriented so running to the club as one poster recommended doesn't do any good. In my experience, parents form teams of 7-8 kids to form futsal teams. It can be based on friends or the best players. Not everyone is asked. If your kid wasn't asked, it means one of two things...he's not in the social circles and/or he isn't good enough. There isn't much more too it and, yes, it's very normal in human behavior....for example...who gets invited to birthday parties and who doesn't.

That is actually not accurate. My son is 15 now, but when he was around 7yo yo to when he was 11yo I put together 3v3 teams, winter leage teams, weekend tournament teams, and summer league teams. I started doing this after I saw the parents of a team he was a part of didn't want to take a leadership role in putting a team in a winter league and the club wasn't doing anything over the winter. I stepped up, enrolled the players that wanted to play, paid the registration fee myself and asked for reimbursement, sent out emails, a few outdoor training sessions, and coached the team for all games. It was great when they won and sucked when they lost.

I recall for one tournament I had asked 12 players to come, and when a 13th player and his parent asked, I had to say no because the games were 7v7, saying yes to that player would mean diminished minutes for all. Thus does happen.

I will be completely honest and say that I started doing this because DS had friends on another outdoor team, and they had registered and didn't invite my DS. My DS did feel excluded but he also just wanted to play. My DS is not a great player, but he also is not the worst.

If your DC wants to play over winter/summer, and he isn't one of the top players, you're going to have to take a larger role in these kinds of activities or just get over it and enroll your DC in another sport. Waiting on the sideline to be asked to dance won't work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Usually winter futsal (and summer leagues/etc) during the off season are not club oriented so running to the club as one poster recommended doesn't do any good. In my experience, parents form teams of 7-8 kids to form futsal teams. It can be based on friends or the best players. Not everyone is asked. If your kid wasn't asked, it means one of two things...he's not in the social circles and/or he isn't good enough. There isn't much more too it and, yes, it's very normal in human behavior....for example...who gets invited to birthday parties and who doesn't.

That is actually not accurate. My son is 15 now, but when he was around 7yo yo to when he was 11yo I put together 3v3 teams, winter leage teams, weekend tournament teams, and summer league teams. I started doing this after I saw the parents of a team he was a part of didn't want to take a leadership role in putting a team in a winter league and the club wasn't doing anything over the winter. I stepped up, enrolled the players that wanted to play, paid the registration fee myself and asked for reimbursement, sent out emails, a few outdoor training sessions, and coached the team for all games. It was great when they won and sucked when they lost.

I recall for one tournament I had asked 12 players to come, and when a 13th player and his parent asked, I had to say no because the games were 7v7, saying yes to that player would mean diminished minutes for all. Thus does happen.

I will be completely honest and say that I started doing this because DS had friends on another outdoor team, and they had registered and didn't invite my DS. My DS did feel excluded but he also just wanted to play. My DS is not a great player, but he also is not the worst.

If your DC wants to play over winter/summer, and he isn't one of the top players, you're going to have to take a larger role in these kinds of activities or just get over it and enroll your DC in another sport. Waiting on the sideline to be asked to dance won't work.

You sound like a real cool/good dad.