Is this normal?
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Anonymous
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Full disclosure: I’m not in the DC area.
U11 competitive son. 11 years old. We are at a new club this year. Training ends this week as they take the winter off (until mid January). There is an optional futsal league. There was no communication whatsoever regarding this league and yesterday I happened to see the coach and told him my son wanted to play. Apparently the teams havebeen made up already and he gave me the contact number of two parents to see if my son could be added to a team. One said she had maximum number of players. The other dad said no even though he had room because he wants the kids on his team to have a good amount of playing time. I said I understand but wow……I’m feeling my son is being excluded. He probably won’t be able to join a team now. He keeps asking me what team he’s on and I don’t know what to say to him. Is this normal? |
Anonymous
No. I’d talk to someone in the club admin. I would think they will find room for him on one of the two teams are maybe a year up. |
Anonymous
| Watch out for this is the summer too. In the DMV area there are some clubs that keep participation in Super Y leagues on the DL for some kids- so it’s too late for them to sign up by the time they find out. |
Anonymous
| Can you try asking around a year up or down? Our club has mixed age teams but aside from parent made teams there are options for singles to slide into. The team we'd be funneled into is being coached by a massive @$$ so we're skipping and doing basketball. |
Anonymous
| Futsal at our club has been like this for years. The club does not sponsor or support futsal, but a few parents have taken it upon themselves to form a team and enter a league. As you can imagine, it is a little cliquey. |
Anonymous
| Op here. I’m just shocked that one of the parents said no because of playing time even though he has room on his team. I can’t imagine being so mean. I’d never exclude a kid who didn’t have a team. It’s unbelievable to me. |
Anonymous
I bet you don't wear a mask, and your son hasn't been vaccinated. That's probably why the dad said no - because of your selfish irresponsibility. |
Anonymous
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Op at u11 unfortunately you will have to get over your feelings and I personally would not want my kid on a team with a ton of kids even though "it's allowed in the rule books". The super y summer league here allows 18 kids for 9v9. Some of our games had all 18 show up!
Just find another futsal team outside of your club or pick up private practices. Your son may do better anyway. Also, here, U11 has to be under 11, i.e.2011 birth year (maximum10 years old). U11 must have a different definition there. 🤔 |
Anonymous
Good perspective! Thanks! |
Anonymous
| Usually winter futsal (and summer leagues/etc) during the off season are not club oriented so running to the club as one poster recommended doesn't do any good. In my experience, parents form teams of 7-8 kids to form futsal teams. It can be based on friends or the best players. Not everyone is asked. If your kid wasn't asked, it means one of two things...he's not in the social circles and/or he isn't good enough. There isn't much more too it and, yes, it's very normal in human behavior....for example...who gets invited to birthday parties and who doesn't. |
Anonymous
| +1 my kid has been on both sides of it. Often included, sometimes excluded. Parents have to do some leg work too. You can't expect other parents to do everything for your kid. |
Anonymous
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Is the parent running the futsol? If so, I don’t see the problem aside from your child being excluded. It happens all the time. Get over it, no one owes you anything.
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Anonymous
Yes, I think this is pretty normal for off season stuff. It has nothing to do with the club so you shouldn't mention to the club as others suggested. It is what it is. If your son is not invited to a birthday party do you call the parents and ask why too? I have set-up teams for futsal leagues for the last couple of years because our club does not and some of the kids like playing. You really only need 7 or 8 kids and we have 13 on our team. Unfortunately not everyone can be included and I let my son provide some input on who he wanted to play with each time. |
Anonymous
| Seems unusual from the teams we have been involved with. Usually coordinated by the team manager for the team. The Saint James has a program that you could check out. One more night of tryouts next weekend. |
Anonymous
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Is this normal, yes. Is it right, no. At that age everyone should be given the chance to participate. Sounds like your team is crap and even if it's parents organizing it a real coach invested in his players can let the parents know he expects it to be open to everyone before they go off and form teams. Sounds like he/she is condoning the clique approach. If you think it's just an honest mistake then talk to the coach again and see what he says, but that seems unlikely. For whatever reason, he's not part of the friend group, they don't think he's good enough, or whatever, it sounds like the childish parents running futsal made a decision to exclude him.
Unless you want your child to be miserable not recommended to try to force your way onto one of the teams where he is not wanted--they will find a way to make him suffer for it. In the long term you have to take this into account when determining if this team is a good fit for your kid. If he gets along with his teammates and the coach and is learning and growing maybe it's just a few crappy parents and you want to stay. Or maybe the issue isn't just limited to the parent sideline and it's time to start looking. Many of the local futsal leagues have individual signups and others if you contact the league organizer can point you in the direction of any teams looking for more players. Maybe playing with another group over the winter for futsal will be just the eye-opener he needs and maybe even get lucky and make some contacts that could lead to a better team for the spring. |