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I was one of the people who chimed in here and am wondering how everyone is doing. The sister my mother insisted I must be close to has had several explosive situations since this post at work and in her interpersonal life and my mother kept trying to draw me in. It's like asking a victim of abuse to support the abuser because the abuser's is getting into trouble for abusing other people. My mother no longer wants a relationship with me because I refuse to get drawn into the chaos. In, ironically (not sure if that is the right term) she herself had a period of estrangement from my sister due to my same complaints.
I wish my brother and father were still alive because they were much more reasonable. Luckily my husband and I created a stable family where people are allow to disagree and have boundaries. I hate to admit my life is calmer without the chaos and I am glad it was my mother's choice. I could not cut off from her because our relationship was not nearly as toxic as the one with my sister, but it had become toxic enough that it is easy to respect her wishes and not long for something that had become painful. |
This hits home. Sister just announced pregnancy during thanksgiving dinner and I’ve suffered multiple pregnancy losses she knows about. She could have done this without me present. I was polite then excused myself for the rest of the night bc I don’t need to celebrate a loser who was not there for me during my own battles. This nonsense we’re fed that “it’s not about you” when it’s someone who shows no mercy? That’s a funeral you have in your head and now, I’ll be with my partner’s family for Christmas.
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| Estranged sister who prides herself on working to “empower young women” professional. |
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You’re an adult
Establish boundaries I don’t speak w my mother or eldest sister. Zero harm done It’s more peaceful. |