Why ghost someone?

[Anonymous]

After 9-10 dates it is really rude and immature to ghost someone but whatever the reason they don't want a relationship and perhaps it's for the better. It absolutely doesn't mean you did anything or there is anything wrong with you. When you're ready try to move on from them.

[Anonymous]

His behavior was off, thus HE is “off” and that’s literally all that you need to know. The person you thought he was doesn’t exist - you’re mourning and empty shell, albeit a handsome and charismatic one. You didn’t do anything to warrant his behavior and you shouldn’t beat yourself up because you, as a normal, upstanding, decent human being had a reasonable expectation that he would be the same. But he’s not and he doesn’t deserve a SECOND more of your consideration or analysis; that would be a waste. You dodged a bullet and I mean that sincerely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop over-analyzing the situation and move on. You'll likely never know the why and honestly it doesn't even matter. My dating life became so much better when I took peoples actions at face value and stopped trying to fighre out why they did what they did.

Agree. It doesn’t really matter why. Just move on. Probably better you don’t know. I’d rather be ghosted than hear some lines about how you aren’t ready for commitment, are still in love with your ex, need some time to yourself, etc. Probably just a bunch of BS anyhow and the real reason is they met someone they like better, your breath smells, you don’t make enough money, who knows, but nothing flattering that is for sure.

[Anonymous]

I personally just ghosted someone I didn't intend to ghost, but every time I sat down to write to them, which was several times a day, the jumble of mixed thoughts and feelings was so confused and intense I could not come out with a coherent response in a difficult situation. It has been a month, and I will reply today, but the outcome will still be a rupture.

[Anonymous]

I ghosted when I was young and immature. I would never do it now, but I had close to zero dating skills and felt petrified. However, I didn’t block the people. I think it’s immature so he is either that or a jerk.

You did dodge a bullet.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, I' m sorry this happened to you. You did nothing wrong. I know the temptation is to analyze your last interaction and wonder what could have happened. He might have anxiety issues or narcissistic tendencies. Whatever it is, you dodged a bullet. That being said, it's natural to be upset and disappointed. Give yourself time. If it helps, I have a lot of friends who have similar experiences w online dating. It's mind boggling how often this kind of thing can happen. It's also unsettling bc you wonder if you missed signs/can no longer trust your gut.

Give yourself time, acknowledge your feelings, know this is one of the pitfalls of modern online dating. Sorry this happened to you. Also don't listen to any of the crazies here who will try and say you did something wrong/are too clingy/he found someone 'hotter.' Horrible take.