I think it’s sweet that she missed your kids enough to want to interact with them while on vacation. |
If she missed them and wanted to chat with them she could have contacted you to video chat with them for a bit.
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I think it’s creepy that she was basically looking into your baby’s room when she wasn’t there. What if you were in there feeding him while half asleep and half dressed and she looked in? I would either ask her not to look at the camera when she isn’t there or revoke access and have an iPad or old iPhone at your house that she can use for access when she is at your home. |
"Hey Larla, I heard you talking to the kids the other day through the nanny cam. I didn't know you could do that! Anyway, it occurred to me that sometimes I walk around undressed and stuff, and I didn't even think about privacy when DH installed the camera, so if you ever want to visit the kids virtually when you're not here can you go through us first so we can make sure it's a good time? Thanks!"
It's a generational thing and a judgement issue, but a forgivable one. Explain your boundaries, and then if she does it again, that's concerning. |
She‘s 22, this is totally something an unthinking young adult in 2021 without her own children would do. I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it. |
I think this is absolutely something that should be addressed. regardless of her intentions, I would not feel comfortable with somebody peeping in whenever they feel like it. it probably isn't nefarious, but it would be so awkward if she just wanted to pop in and say hi and my husband was home alone putting laundry away in his underwear, or I was nursing in a nightgown that revealed everything. I don't think you need to throw a fit or be dramatic, but it is absolutely appropriate to say you didn't feel comfortable with it, you loved her checking in and saying hi, if she wants to do it again feel free to facetime your cell (or text and ask if it's a good time video chat, or whatever). boundaries are important |
You should have her delete the app from her phone and only have it on your (parents) devices. We have a mounted ipad in the kitchen that allows us and the nanny to monitor the children in their bedrooms and the playroom. |
If this bothers you (and it would bother me), I recommend you ch age the password and give her separate baby monitors to monitor during nap time.
We have caregivers on our parents home and I deliberately did not give them the password to the camera apps because the idea of people having access to see in our parents house when we weren’t there was creepy to us. I wouldn’t hold it against her, though. |
Nanny here -The whole thing doesn’t sit well with me. I’d politely give her notice and change my passwords ASAP. |
NP - this is a great idea. |
Whoa. I do NOT think you're overreacting. I think it absolutely was an invasion of privacy. I've been a nanny for 10 years and also do ad-hoc sitting. Being 2021, most of my care families have some type of cameras in the home. For the ones where I need to download an app to check on the kids while sleeping/napping, I've NEVER used it while not on the job. Creepy. |
+100. You have given her access to listen to your conversations. |
Agree with both of you. I'm flabbergasted by the posters thinking this is NBD. |
Nanny here- That is crazy unprofessional and I think if I did something like that I’d be fired, and I’ve been with my nanny family for 7 years. This is not the first time she has logged on in her off time and I’d assume she has watched your family in the past. |
It's creepy and for those who think it is not, why not ask your nanny if you can hook up to her ring cam or similar and when you see her approach her front door you will randomly say hi and start chatting with her.... |