Nanny Accessed Our NestCam While On Vacation to Talk to Kids - Invasion of Privacy?

[Anonymous]

Hi all. Seeking perspective and whether I am right to feel upset about this -

When our nanny started, we showed her our the NestCam in our baby's room. We explained we used it to check on baby during naps/going to bed, but we assured Nanny that we would never access it while she was working. Nanny downloaded the app (can't remember if we asked her to or if she asked), and she used it to check on baby during naps. Nanny is 22.

Fast forward 1.5 years. Nanny goes on 2.5 week vacation abroad to visit extended family/friends. I hire a college student as a mother's helper for a few hours a day while Nanny is away. One day, while Mother's Helper and kids are playing in the nursery, I hear Nanny talking to them through the NestCam. Kids are confused, as we do not use the microphone function of the Nestcam. Nanny was saying hi, saying "I see you!" etc. etc. I'm unsure whether Nanny was alone or showing the video to someone back home.

I feel like this is an invasion of privacy. Nanny was literally thousands of miles away, off duty, with absolutely no reason to be checking on my kids. Does she look at it other times?! Is this her entertainment?! I think it is especially egregious here, where Mother's Helper was caring for the kids and suddenly without warning being "watched."

Husband thinks it's no big deal. Nanny probably just missed the kids and didn't want to bother with a FaceTime call.

Shouldn't it be an understood boundary that when you are off duty, you do not access a family's webcam? Did I really need to tell her that? Am I overreacting?

[Anonymous]

Yes, I think you’re overreacting. That said, if you don’t trust your nanny to the extent that you think she is spying on you I strongly suggest you hire a new nanny or consider day care.

[Anonymous]

Why is this a big deal? The nanny still works for you right but is on vacation? So you only trust her watching the kids when she’s in duty but not when she’s on vacation. I don’t get it.

If you don’t want her to have access then change the password. Problem solved in 1 minute.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t like it. I’d block her access.

[Anonymous]

Many 22-year-olds think about tech and video and being on video differently than older people do. To me this is maybe bad judgment stemming from that. I’d be unhappy with the situation but not overly unhappy with her, if that makes sense. But it seems like you should talk with her about social media as far as your own kids, as well as asking her nicely not to access the Nest when she’s not at work. And change the password while she’s away.

[Anonymous]

I think she cares about your kids and misses them, even when she doesn’t technically have to be thinking about them.

But if the above makes you uncomfortable then she is not the nanny for you! Just not sure what traits you would be looking for.

[Anonymous]

Actually, her use in that regard could be unlawful. The purpose of the nanny cam is to monitor children, or people caring for children. The purpose is not to watch others while they are expecting a reasonable amount of privacy. This would be especially true if she was sharing the footage with unknown third parties.

[Anonymous]

OP, in fairness, this is a very new technology where a common understanding of the etiquette has not had time to develop. I sure she meant no harm and thought it would be fun for the kiddos. If you don’t want her doing that again, say so nicely and I expect you will have no further issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, in fairness, this is a very new technology where a common understanding of the etiquette has not had time to develop. I sure she meant no harm and thought it would be fun for the kiddos. If you don’t want her doing that again, say so nicely and I expect you will have no further issues.

This.

I think your reaction is within the realm of reasonable (I’d feel the exact same way). But you like her and rely on the technology, I’d just talk to her about it. I’d also block her access when not working.

[Anonymous]

I think this is a generational issue. Kids that age don’t get the idea of privacy when it comes to technology.

I get why you don’t like it but I don’t think it’s a big deal either. Not worth making an issue of it and embarrassing her.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you need two of these baby monitors: one that you use in the evenings and weekends, and the other that is used by your employee. When the employee is off duty, physically unplug the baby monitor that could be used to eavesdrop on your private conversations from outside the home. What about setting up just a traditional baby monitor for the employee? It does not need to be a Nest capability for the staff. If you can afford a nanny, then this is not too expensive of a tool to buy to help with her job.

[Anonymous]

It is absolutely an invasion of privacy. And the posters telling you it’s not are crazy. Would it be okay for the nanny to sneak around in OP’s bushes to stare into the windows and watch them when she’s off-duty? No, of course not. It similarly is not okay for he nanny to use the Nest app to watch OP’s family in their private home when she is off-duty. Best case scenario is this nanny has no understanding of boundaries. It’s creepy and disturbing.

[Anonymous]

You are overreacting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Actually, her use in that regard could be unlawful. The purpose of the nanny cam is to monitor children, or people caring for children. The purpose is not to watch others while they are expecting a reasonable amount of privacy. This would be especially true if she was sharing the footage with unknown third parties.

You sound insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is absolutely an invasion of privacy. And the posters telling you it’s not are crazy. Would it be okay for the nanny to sneak around in OP’s bushes to stare into the windows and watch them when she’s off-duty? No, of course not. It similarly is not okay for he nanny to use the Nest app to watch OP’s family in their private home when she is off-duty. Best case scenario is this nanny has no understanding of boundaries. It’s creepy and disturbing.