What can you say to a 14 year old that they might stop having sex?

[Anonymous]

This was my friend Kelly. She had a baby freshman year of high school -- told me she never even had a period.

She quit school. Her now-ex-boyfriend was elected homecoming prince, and never had anything to do with his child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What about telling her it will be less special with the person she eventually chooses to marry if she has sex now?

dp What a load of baloney! You don't believe that do you?

[Anonymous]

Probably not much. Make sure they have birth control.

[Anonymous]

really, there's nothing you can say. But you can have them volunteer at a teen pregnancy clinic and meet with some of the 15 year old Mom's and have them do the talking for you. Worked for us in one weekend.

[Anonymous]

I did not have PIV before 18. Logic convinced me, not moralizing. I am very open about sexuality with my kids and never demonize our very natural pursuit of pleasure. It makes sense to discuss BJs and other ways to O as well as birth control. You should probably accept that some people just have a greater aversion to risk and can discipline themselves better. If the teen in question is not one of these nothing you say will convince her.

[Anonymous]

Make sure they have access to birth control and accurate info about STDs.

I would also have a conversation about how damaging the concept of “virginity” is. It’s not a slippery slope, like now that they have “lost” their virginity (what a stupid concept) they have to continue to be sexually active. If at any point they think they might need a break from it, they can stop. Having sex with one boyfriend doesn’t mean anything about what she should do with the next. So much of the way we talk about sexuality to children makes it seem like a one-way progression, and I think that’s harmful. I would also drive home that you don’t see having sex as bad, or that the person is now different in some way, more just that it is a behavior with serious consequences and you want them to monitor how they’re feeling about it and be equipped to stay safe, be empowered, and get help with any aspect as needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:really, there's nothing you can say. But you can have them volunteer at a teen pregnancy clinic and meet with some of the 15 year old Mom's and have them do the talking for you. Worked for us in one weekend.

Worked for what? Birth control is very effective. Teen moms are teen moms because they had unprotected sex except in very rare cases, not because they had sex at all.

[Anonymous]

Remove the opportunity. Why are 14/15 year olds unsupervised?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Remove the opportunity. Why are 14/15 year olds unsupervised?

Um, because they go to school. And play sports, And have activities.

Sex at 14 takes about 5 minutes. My sister did it with her boyfriend once while taking out the garbage after dinner. Her boyfriend parked down the street. She was back before the dishwasher was loaded.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Remove the opportunity. Why are 14/15 year olds unsupervised?

Um, because they go to school. And play sports, And have activities.

Sex at 14 takes about 5 minutes. My sister did it with her boyfriend once while taking out the garbage after dinner. Her boyfriend parked down the street. She was back before the dishwasher was loaded.

I have a 14 year old and he's never unsupervised. If they are having sex at school I'd be pissed with the school.