Low Earning SAHP and Middle Class Households

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Ok. DH makes 90k. We saved a lot before kids and bought a 1.8M house in a good school district. Mortgage is under $300. We rent out a room and that brings in 15K - that's my play money. Kid's colleges are almost funded, but we're also saving for grad school.

I really wanted to quit but didn't think DH would be okay with it. Turns out, he really wanted me to stay home as well. I worked the first year after our first child was born and our other children, so I spent more time with, are much smarter and less socially awkward. I regret working when the first was a baby!

My kids can do so much with me that other kids miss out on. So many nature activities, trips, and even just snuggles make a difference. Playdates and preschool give them social interaction.

I can’t wrap my head around these numbers, unless you had kids at 45

They didn’t buy their house with their own money.

Or perhaps no student loans.

Even with no student loans, unless there’s an inheritance, or she made like $500k for several years before having kids at 45, there is no way they could have that house and fully funded 529s for three kids!

You obviously can’t do math. All she had to do is skip avocado toast every once in while, maybe you should try it!

[Anonymous]

can DH get a PT job to supplement income? I work a PT job in addition to my FT job and make an extra $12K.

My cousin is a SAHP with 4 kids (1,4,6,8) and watches 1 or 2 other kids and has to be pulling in a couple K per month.

Maybe you could work one weekend day somewhere chill to get out of the house, like a bookstore or yoga studio.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:can DH get a PT job to supplement income? I work a PT job in addition to my FT job and make an extra $12K.

My cousin is a SAHP with 4 kids (1,4,6,8) and watches 1 or 2 other kids and has to be pulling in a couple K per month.

Maybe you could work one weekend day somewhere chill to get out of the house, like a bookstore or yoga studio.

She has twins! Infant twins!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Ok. DH makes 90k. We saved a lot before kids and bought a 1.8M house in a good school district. Mortgage is under $300. We rent out a room and that brings in 15K - that's my play money. Kid's colleges are almost funded, but we're also saving for grad school.

I really wanted to quit but didn't think DH would be okay with it. Turns out, he really wanted me to stay home as well. I worked the first year after our first child was born and our other children, so I spent more time with, are much smarter and less socially awkward. I regret working when the first was a baby!

My kids can do so much with me that other kids miss out on. So many nature activities, trips, and even just snuggles make a difference. Playdates and preschool give them social interaction.

I can’t wrap my head around these numbers, unless you had kids at 45

That whole post is so bonkers that I think it is someone mocking SAHMs.

You have to be joking. There is no way you live in a 1.8M house on that salary given taxes and utilities alone except if someone purchased it for you. And, no way your mortgage is $300 except if someone paid it off for you. I have refinanced and done two recasts and my mortgage is still $1200 as we have been heavily paying it off and my house is 1/5 what yours costs. There is no way you can mostly fund college and other things.

I assumed she meant mortgage is $300k. But yes, still very unrealistic.

I read this post as totally sarcastic.

Yes. The post is satirizing DCUM SAHMs. It has effectively derailed OPs totally legit question too, unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’re a very low earning family and rely on assistance. We qualify for a childcare stipend but due to my past abuse I did not feel comfortable putting my kids in the daycare center that was available to us.

So we’re making it work the best we can. I know generally SAHM are demonized, but you wouldn’t believe what people have said to me.

It’s kind of funny. Lot’s of “women should stay home and care for their children” folks change their mind when they find out we are poor. It quickly changes to, “you should work!”

All exhausting.

Can’t imagine why people think someone who is using public assistance so they can be a SAHP should work instead…

When I worked we still needed public assistance. *shrug*.

I don’t think my children should be forced to go to subpar daycare because we’re poor. Even with a childcare stipend the majority of my checks would go to childcare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Ok. DH makes 90k. We saved a lot before kids and bought a 1.8M house in a good school district. Mortgage is under $300. We rent out a room and that brings in 15K - that's my play money. Kid's colleges are almost funded, but we're also saving for grad school.

I really wanted to quit but didn't think DH would be okay with it. Turns out, he really wanted me to stay home as well. I worked the first year after our first child was born and our other children, so I spent more time with, are much smarter and less socially awkward. I regret working when the first was a baby!

My kids can do so much with me that other kids miss out on. So many nature activities, trips, and even just snuggles make a difference. Playdates and preschool give them social interaction.

I can’t wrap my head around these numbers, unless you had kids at 45

I assume the down payment was from inheritance. 90k a year isn’t going to create enough for savings to put 85% down on a 1.8 million dollar house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:can DH get a PT job to supplement income? I work a PT job in addition to my FT job and make an extra $12K.

My cousin is a SAHP with 4 kids (1,4,6,8) and watches 1 or 2 other kids and has to be pulling in a couple K per month.

Maybe you could work one weekend day somewhere chill to get out of the house, like a bookstore or yoga studio.

No. He’s a first year assistant professor and so is constantly busy with a lot of unpaid labor but that’s just kind of how it works. If he’s not working, he should be type situation. Publish or Perish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Ok. DH makes 90k. We saved a lot before kids and bought a 1.8M house in a good school district. Mortgage is under $300. We rent out a room and that brings in 15K - that's my play money. Kid's colleges are almost funded, but we're also saving for grad school.

I really wanted to quit but didn't think DH would be okay with it. Turns out, he really wanted me to stay home as well. I worked the first year after our first child was born and our other children, so I spent more time with, are much smarter and less socially awkward. I regret working when the first was a baby!

My kids can do so much with me that other kids miss out on. So many nature activities, trips, and even just snuggles make a difference. Playdates and preschool give them social interaction.

No, if you formula fed the first one and breastfed the others, that’s probably why the first one is dumb and socially awkward.

…oh wait, that’s also only true in crazy-person-land.

Lady, your first child is not less intelligent and less socially adept because you were working, unless you actually locked them in a box while you were gone. That assertion is nuts. You want to stay at home? Great, enjoy, go for it. But building an insane story to support your choice is not necessary or helpful, and certainly not helpful to your poor first child, who you’ve deemed inferior forevermore because - horrors! - they had a working mom for the first year of their life.

+1 Ugh!

[Anonymous]

You guys. That crazy SAHM posted is either a troll or so nuts that her opinion is irrelevant. Stop derailing OPs good question.

[Anonymous]

Op what is your field? Trying to think of pt jobs for you

[Anonymous]

I did this. DH and I made about $70k each. Consider job stability, health insurance and salary when deciding who becomes the SAHP.
Here's how we did it:
I worked part time at home doing book indexing and copy editing. If you have any marketable skills, or can develop some cheaply and quickly thru community college or distance learning, do so. Look for odd niches that need to be filled--i have a friend who keeps the websites of several churches updated as her side hustle. The idea is to bring in a little money and keep something on your resume. Stay away from MLMs.
My hours were flexible at the part-time job, but I did most of them in the evening, weekends, or late at night. I was always tired and I didn't get to relax with my husband often, but that might have been the case regardless.
We live in a great close-in suburb, but it's a small house on a busy street. We will never be able to afford to move, but we have built a small addition.
Look for free activities for kids. Don't pay for any classes for a child under the age of 5.
Do meal planning, don't buy convenience meals like takeout or Blue Apron.
Do your own housekeeping and lawn service.
We did pay for a mother's helper and later a preschool for about 6 hours a week.
You're a SAHM of little kids. Limit your personal spending accordingly. Reduce expensive haircuts, Sephora makeup, Lululemon leggings, frequent mani/pedis.
I went back to work full-time when my youngest was in 2nd grade. By that time, we had a support system, they were fairly independent, and we could use the school's after-school care.
At first you'll feel like the only person doing this, but you'll quickly find that this is actually quite common--you'll build your network at parks and playgrounds.
Was it worth making the financial and career sacrifice? Yep. No regrets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why have kids if your both low earning? I don’t understand it.

You don’t sound bright. Don’t have kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Ok. DH makes 90k. We saved a lot before kids and bought a 1.8M house in a good school district. Mortgage is under $300. We rent out a room and that brings in 15K - that's my play money. Kid's colleges are almost funded, but we're also saving for grad school.

I really wanted to quit but didn't think DH would be okay with it. Turns out, he really wanted me to stay home as well. I worked the first year after our first child was born and our other children, so I spent more time with, are much smarter and less socially awkward. I regret working when the first was a baby!

My kids can do so much with me that other kids miss out on. So many nature activities, trips, and even just snuggles make a difference. Playdates and preschool give them social interaction.

You managed to save enough to buy 1.8M house and your mortgage is under $300(k?) on $90k/year. Please share your secret. How long did it take to save 1.5mill?

[Anonymous]

I'm a SAHM in CLEVELAND and my husband makes almost $150K. I can't imagine living in DC on $68k.

I have several friends who stay home but watch one or two kids. That could be an option for you? I'm sure lots of people in DC are looking for childcare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Ok. DH makes 90k. We saved a lot before kids and bought a 1.8M house in a good school district. Mortgage is under $300. We rent out a room and that brings in 15K - that's my play money. Kid's colleges are almost funded, but we're also saving for grad school.

I really wanted to quit but didn't think DH would be okay with it. Turns out, he really wanted me to stay home as well. I worked the first year after our first child was born and our other children, so I spent more time with, are much smarter and less socially awkward. I regret working when the first was a baby!

My kids can do so much with me that other kids miss out on. So many nature activities, trips, and even just snuggles make a difference. Playdates and preschool give them social interaction.

I can’t wrap my head around these numbers, unless you had kids at 45

They didn’t buy their house with their own money.

All are correct. Had kids at 35 (me) and 45 (DH). Never had student loans (actually, I had like 5K so basically nothing). Inherited $400K that we used for a combo of down payment, college funds, stocks. We would have been okay without it, but would have needed to sell more stocks to buy our house.

I think if you plan and are very careful from your early 20s, it can be doable. Obviously having no student debt helped a lot too.



Or perhaps no student loans.