Low Earning SAHP and Middle Class Households

[Anonymous]

I see a lot of SAHP at DCUM have high earning spouses and can manage to keep a high household income while only one parent works.

I want to hear from middle class or poor families where a parent has decided to stay home. What’s your reasoning?

For us, we calculated that daycare costs while are children are infants would be more than I’d being home. I’m in a very low wage field that’s very taxing, demanding and unpredictable so it made sense for me to stay home to cut the childcare costs. Of course without my income that puts a lot of pressure on my spouse who has just begun his career and his beginning salary is DCUM low but nationally mid-range. We definitely struggle and have had to make a lot of financial sacrifices. I’m still figuring out ways to supplement my income while staying at home (that’s not an MLM). I’m sure not tons of people here are in the same situation but I’d love to hear from you if you are

[Anonymous]

We’re a very low earning family and rely on assistance. We qualify for a childcare stipend but due to my past abuse I did not feel comfortable putting my kids in the daycare center that was available to us.

So we’re making it work the best we can. I know generally SAHM are demonized, but you wouldn’t believe what people have said to me.

It’s kind of funny. Lot’s of “women should stay home and care for their children” folks change their mind when they find out we are poor. It quickly changes to, “you should work!”

All exhausting.

[Anonymous]

What is his salary. Saying middle class is silly. You can make it work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is his salary. Saying middle class is silly. You can make it work.

68k. It is a very big struggle to exist on his salary alone and we live in a more affordable part of the DC area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is his salary. Saying middle class is silly. You can make it work.

This matters a lot. I’ve seen people describe anything from 50K to 500K as middle class, so it’s all but meaningless at this point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is his salary. Saying middle class is silly. You can make it work.

68k. It is a very big struggle to exist on his salary alone and we live in a more affordable part of the DC area.

I also understand their are families that exist on much less with both parents working. I know he makes a lot more than most Americans. In DCUM land we are poor, I’d assume.

[Anonymous]

Why have kids if your both low earning? I don’t understand it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is his salary. Saying middle class is silly. You can make it work.

68k. It is a very big struggle to exist on his salary alone and we live in a more affordable part of the DC area.

Got it. That sounds like it would take some planning but not undo-able. How old are your kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why have kids if your both low earning? I don’t understand it.

You do realize saying on people who fall into a specific category should reproduce is called eugenics, right? Plus, it’s not like OP and spouse are homeless and decided to have a child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why have kids if your both low earning? I don’t understand it.

Wow. You are a truly terrible person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is his salary. Saying middle class is silly. You can make it work.

68k. It is a very big struggle to exist on his salary alone and we live in a more affordable part of the DC area.

Got it. That sounds like it would take some planning but not undo-able. How old are your kids?

10-month-old twins.

[Anonymous]

Ok. DH makes 90k. We saved a lot before kids and bought a 1.8M house in a good school district. Mortgage is under $300. We rent out a room and that brings in 15K - that's my play money. Kid's colleges are almost funded, but we're also saving for grad school.

I really wanted to quit but didn't think DH would be okay with it. Turns out, he really wanted me to stay home as well. I worked the first year after our first child was born and our other children, so I spent more time with, are much smarter and less socially awkward. I regret working when the first was a baby!

My kids can do so much with me that other kids miss out on. So many nature activities, trips, and even just snuggles make a difference. Playdates and preschool give them social interaction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’re a very low earning family and rely on assistance. We qualify for a childcare stipend but due to my past abuse I did not feel comfortable putting my kids in the daycare center that was available to us.

So we’re making it work the best we can. I know generally SAHM are demonized, but you wouldn’t believe what people have said to me.

It’s kind of funny. Lot’s of “women should stay home and care for their children” folks change their mind when they find out we are poor. It quickly changes to, “you should work!”

All exhausting.

Can’t imagine why people think someone who is using public assistance so they can be a SAHP should work instead…

[Anonymous]

10 month old twins means you must sahm, double the cost of everything from now on. Love and hugs to you twin mom.

[Anonymous]

A neighbor I had once put her kids through university by babysitting while she was a low income SAHP with a controlling and abusive SO.
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There are plenty of WFH positions but it depends on your background and if your children are old enough they can be quiet and self-entertaining if you WFH.

If you don't end up working or studying to be able to enter the workforce again then I'd definitely try to work on meal planning and doing low-cost meals. Don't forget about the spousal IRA and 529s if you can afford it.