Feeling odd about breast-feeding

[Anonymous]

I am going to be a first time mom in a few months and am feeling a bit weirded out about breast feeding. Let me preface this with saying that I know that breast feeding is the most natural thing in the world. Still, I'm having a hard time transitioning from my breasts being sexual organs to now being maternal ones. I want my child to have all the benefits of breast milk, and have been thinking of maybe pumping and giving breast milk that way. Did any one else have any of these feelings? Does breast feeding really feel totally different than sexual breast stimulation? Thanks.

[Anonymous]

I am wondering the same thing myself....! I am glad you asked and I hope people answer. My "issue" is that my breasts have always been large (and now absolutely HUGE) and the thought of my baby sucking on them makes me cringe. I am going to give it a shot, of course, but am feeling off about it. Glad to know that someone else is in the same boat, whatever the reason.

[Anonymous]

I think you might be surprised how un-self-conscious you'll become about your boobs & BFing related stuff once your baby has arrived & is looking to feed. Not to say that it's easy, but at least for me I was so focused on the technical aspects of learning to BF that I didn't even notice the people walking in & out of the room, etc. I would definitely try to get BFing well-established for a few weeks before you start pumping to primarily feed from a bottle.

[Anonymous]

You will be surprised about how quickly your breasts turn from being sexual to a source of food for your baby. It does feel strange at first and is something you need to get over if you want to breast feed but you will find that once you get established, it becomes the most natural thing in the world. Of course it also usually means (well for me anyway) that you feel like your breasts are 'off-limits' to your partner as they become more associated with your baby than anything else.

There is also no 'turn on' factor with breastfeeding and it becomes a pretty practical thing. By all means if you are having trouble try pumping but I'd give breastfeeding a good go first. You might be suprised about how quickly you can do it.

[Anonymous]

It took me at least a month before breastfeeding felt normal or natural. I felt more bonded to my daughter when I was just holding her or cuddling her. This may be because my supply was low and I had to supplement; maybe if breastfeeding was her only nourishment I would have felt differently. I have only just now gotten used to breastfeeding (she's two months old) and while I don't mind it, I don't love it either. If it weren't for all the social pressure and stigma, I would probably have thrown in the towel by now. As it is, I feel like some breast milk is better than none so I'm continuing, but I don't feel guilty about the formula she gets either ( (I think she gets about equal amounts breast milk and formula) and I have a feeling she will wean herself off the breast before too terribly long.

So, yes it's natural and non-sexual and it's healthy and best, but you might still feel weird about it, for any number of reasons, and that's okay too. Don't beat yourself up about it. You might end up absolutely loving it, but if you don't, just do your best.

[Anonymous]

I know exactly how you feel, OP. I am pretty sure I wrote a similar post a few months before my DD was born. I thought I would be totally uncomfortable with breast feeding. Somehow, after my daughter was born I grew to enjoy it as a bonding experience. BUT, despite all of my efforts (hiring a lactation consultant, etc.), my daughter had a lot of problems latching so I pumped often and fed her expressed milk by the bottle for about 1/2 of her feedings for the first 2-3 months of her life. My daughter is 4 months old now and I now feed her expressed milk more often than I nurse her. I was able to feed her breast milk exclusively until she was 3 months old. Over the past month, I have had to supplement with a few bottles of formula a week.

Basically, my advice to you would be to realize that you may be surprised at how you feel about nursing once the baby arrives. And, even if you don't want to nurse, you may be able to pump exclusively. There is another recent post on exclusively pumping and may be helpful to you. If I'd followed the advice on that post I might not have to supplement. But, I don't pump every 4 hours during the night. But, as a bonus, my DH can do some night feedings!

[Anonymous]

Breast feeding feels totally different than sexual stimulation. I have bf 2 kids and it was the best part of the early months. It is not easy or instant, however, so give your self some time before you give up and start exclusively pumping. Most (actually all) the moms I know pretty much hated pumping, so imo it is less likely that you'll stick with that long-term than if you get the breast feeding established. For the second poster, my sister has large breasts which were quite a sight filled with milk. She loved the "Hooter Hiders" and has had great success breastfeeding. In fact, she makes far more milk than I ever did, so maybe bigger breasts are better for breastfeeding!

[Anonymous]

You know, you may or may not every find breastfeeding comfortable or right for you. With my first son, I tried it and I absolutely hated it. It made me so stressed out and the baby frankly preferred the bottle. Anyway, I gave it up and had a very healthy, engaging and smart little boy. With my second son, I again just let the situation decide and I did put him on the breast a couple of times in the hospital but I decided to bottle/forumla feed again. There is no shame in whatever decision you make about feeding your baby so just keep an open mind and see how it feels for you and the baby.

[Anonymous]

Like some PP's said, you may be surprised at how your feelings change. I think it's just a part of pregnancy and then when your baby comes and you've seen what you produced and how your body provides for it, it feels like a more natural thing. It's funny; I BF'ed my first child until I was pregnant with my second (I'm now 25 weeks). She was fully weaned by the time I was 11 weeks, I think, and by that time, I was ready to be done--nursing was the last thing I wanted to do (and I had never felt that way before). Once she was weaned, the thought of nursing a baby again was disgusting to me--no way do I want a baby sucking on me! By now I'm starting to not feel wierded out about it, and of course I'm going to nurse my second--I'm sure by the time she's born I'll be ready and willing to breastfeed. I figure it must just be some hormonal thing that makes us have these feelings. Good luck and healthy pregnancy to you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Like some PP's said, you may be surprised at how your feelings change. I think it's just a part of pregnancy and then when your baby comes and you've seen what you produced and how your body provides for it, it feels like a more natural thing. It's funny; I BF'ed my first child until I was pregnant with my second (I'm now 25 weeks). She was fully weaned by the time I was 11 weeks, I think, and by that time, I was ready to be done--nursing was the last thing I wanted to do (and I had never felt that way before). Once she was weaned, the thought of nursing a baby again was disgusting to me--no way do I want a baby sucking on me! By now I'm starting to not feel wierded out about it, and of course I'm going to nurse my second--I'm sure by the time she's born I'll be ready and willing to breastfeed. I figure it must just be some hormonal thing that makes us have these feelings. Good luck and healthy pregnancy to you!

OP, I felt exactly as you did before I had my first kid. The whole concept was weird to me, but I knew I wanted to try, so I took a one-night class at Sibley to get some pointers, and then I gave it a shot. Honestly, the moment I started nursing him, all the weirdness went away. And I don't mean that it was a transformative experience or anything (it wasn't); simply, it didn't seem weird. It seemed normal. And it was easy (for me). I nursed him for 11 mos, and I'm nursing #2 right now (he's 7.5 mos). I'd recommend going to a class before the baby is born (have your husband go with you; it's great to have him understand things, as well) and then just giving it a shot. Perhaps you won't have the same experience I did, but I have to say that going into it expecting not to like it set very low expectations, I think. So I was so pleasantly surprised to find it easy and natural.

PP, I had the same feeling when I was pg with #2. Was so not excited to breastfeed. But, as with #1, it felt totally normal the second #2 latched on. That said, I'm looking forward to weaning him at 1 yo. Like I said, nursing has never been a transformative experience for me; I do it because it's good for the baby, cheap, and easy. But I'm looking forward to being untethered for good!

Good luck to both of you!

[Anonymous]

to PP #2, I also have huge boobs, and exclusively nursed my son until he was one. although the first few months it was a full time job, it was a great bonding experience, and I really grew to enjoy it . although pumping SUCKS, when I went back to work, it made me feel great to be able to provide him with something no one else could.

as for large boobs, nursing in public does present some challenges (especially if, like me, gravity is not your friend!). My son hated the "hooter hider" and his kicking and flailing to get it off often made us more conspicuous, so I eventually gave it up. once i got comfy with nursing, and developed some strategies (nursing tanks w/ regular shirts, sitting cross-legged w/ a blanket prop, nursing him while in a sling when he was tiny), i could nurse just about anywhere. I once had a 20 minute conversation with an older gentleman while nursing my son on a bench at the air and space museum before the man even realized I was nursing!

[Anonymous]

I hear you on the cheap front. Breastfeeding has gone just fine for me (but I was kind of looking forward to it) but I didn't realize just how much money we saved by breastfeeding.

Maybe if you look at things from the practical point of view (cheaper than formula, no cleaning bottes unless you pump, better health for the kid) instead of the highly romantic point of view, you might end up nursing longer and maybe feeling better about it.

[Anonymous]

It's hard to imagine at this point in pregnancy, but your post partem pregnancy hormones kick in after birth and you will feel naturally encouraged to BF.

Plus, once your colostrum gives way to the milk coming in along with the oh-so fun engorgement, you'll have a change of heart.

Now...whether you stick with BFing is a personal (and sometimes physical/medical) choice, but in the beginning I think your "odd" feelings will change.

Also, there was a long posting on the Gereral Disc. forum a few months back about how unnatural/weird Bfing is/was for some moms. You may want to do a search on that and read the different view points.

Congrats on the pending baby

[Anonymous]

op- I can't/won't speak to the feeling "weird" aspect of BFing since that isn't a feeling I ever had pre- or post baby, but I do want to assure you that there is NO cross-over of the sexual feelings you might have from breast/nipple stimulation pre baby to the sensation nursing creates post baby. It's like night & day. I do agree with a PP who said that while BFing, the boobs were off limits to my husband !

[Anonymous]

I agree with much that has been said here. Breastfeeding is an intensely personal thing, and some women do feel weird about it. While it provides great benefits for babies, it's not a huge deal if you decide it's not right for you. I will just add that, although I am breastfeeding and do not feel ANY sexual feelings while my baby eats, I was surprised that I do feel sexually stimulated in my breasts during sex--perhaps even more so than before I began breastfeeding.