Feeling odd about breast-feeding

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:op- I can't/won't speak to the feeling "weird" aspect of BFing since that isn't a feeling I ever had pre- or post baby, but I do want to assure you that there is NO cross-over of the sexual feelings you might have from breast/nipple stimulation pre baby to the sensation nursing creates post baby. It's like night & day. I do agree with a PP who said that while BFing, the boobs were off limits to my husband !

I agree that there is no cross-over or confusion about sexual feelings or anything like that. But I will say that once the initial phase of engorgement and painful nipples passed, my boobs were no longer off-limits to DH. I felt fine and even sexy again within a few weeks. My joke was that the boobs were ready to work double shifts. That part was all very easy and natural. I think the hormones helped a lot.

Also, I agree that it helps immensely to take a breastfeeding class before your baby is born. We took the quick evening class at Sibley. And by "we" I mean both me and DH. It was a huge education to him, and I know the class prepped him to be especially helpful, understanding and supportive of nursing. The early weeks were a bit tough logistically -- it felt like constant nursing and painful nipples until things were established -- and I'm glad DH was up to speed.

Good luck to you, whatever you choose!

[Anonymous]

Glad to hear people say boobs weren't totally off limits to husbands during breastfeeding...I'm definitely planning on breastfeeding, but I'll be really sad if that means they're off limits sexually!

[Anonymous]

I felt weird about it too, but ended up doing it for 11 months because it just made sense. My baby was "good at it" from day 1, she thrived, I had plenty of milk and I was a SAHM so it was easy to do. The second time around I think it will be just be more natural, but maybe not.
I hate to say it, but my breasts have always seemed more of a sex-object to me. Breastfeeding was just an interlude in the history of my boobs. So superficial, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I felt weird about it too, but ended up doing it for 11 months because it just made sense. My baby was "good at it" from day 1, she thrived, I had plenty of milk and I was a SAHM so it was easy to do. The second time around I think it will be just be more natural, but maybe not.
I hate to say it, but my breasts have always seemed more of a sex-object to me. Breastfeeding was just an interlude in the history of my boobs. So superficial, right?

Oh yeah and the husband still got to enjoy them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: If it weren't for all the social pressure and stigma, I would probably have thrown in the towel by now.

Seriously, who cares? Do what feels best for you, forget the societal pressures of "breast is best." Babies thrive just fine on formula too.

[Anonymous]

"Breast is best" is not a societal pressure, it is the truth! I agree with a PP who said that it would be helpful to take a breastfeeding class. My boobs have never been off-limits to my husband. Whenever he wants to play with them, they are ready for him. Even when my child was a newborn and the milk would start coming out like a sprinkler in the middle of the sexual act, he was very understanding and that never bothered him. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

It is not the truth if the mom hates it and it makes her stressed and miserable. I know sooooo many kids who are/were breastfed exclusively who had ear infections galore, slept poorly because they were just hungry etc. What makes the mom most comfortable, relaxed and happy is what is BEST!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is not the truth if the mom hates it and it makes her stressed and miserable. I know sooooo many kids who are/were breastfed exclusively who had ear infections galore, slept poorly because they were just hungry etc. What makes the mom most comfortable, relaxed and happy is what is BEST!!!

Totally agree!

[Anonymous]

I come from a large family of breastfeeding women so it was expected for me to nurse. Thankfully having a good support system helped me get over the unease I initailly felt. Before you spend money on a class, contact your local La Lech League. www.lllofmd-de-dc.org Go to a meeting and meeting other moms who are pregnant, nursing. I've been nursing for 14months and am glad that I am doing it. Good luck

[Anonymous]

I never had any reservations about breastfeeding, but I'll admit that my breasts were off limits to my husband while I was nursing. Between nursing, pumping, nursing again, they just didn't seem sexual to me any more, and I felt uncomfortable with it. (I also just thought they needed a break, they were in use so much!). When my son was about 10 months, I began to see them as sexual again and slowly let them "back in the game." My husband was compassionate and grown-up about it (that must be why I married him!) I weaned at a year.

[Anonymous]

Totally agree with all the posts. I will say I was a bit shocked that no one warned her that your breasts will never return to pre baby state. My friends and I joke about them being deflated balloons, flattened pancakes, teabags. Going from large milk filled hooters to empty flappy boobs is a strange feeling.
Furthermore, I think that it's totally personal if you are okay letting DH 'play' with them dring those bf months. I just was NOT okay with it. My son is 11 months old and I stopped bf at 7 months and I pretty much have resigned myself that the chest region is no longer a sexy area around our home!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is not the truth if the mom hates it and it makes her stressed and miserable. I know sooooo many kids who are/were breastfed exclusively who had ear infections galore, slept poorly because they were just hungry etc. What makes the mom most comfortable, relaxed and happy is what is BEST!!!

This is not what the OP was asking about, but I think it is well established that breast is best. Not just for immunity, IQ, etc., but for the mother's future health as well. Now of course, if the whole thing is sending you over the edge of sanity, by all means bottle feed, but I think that the OP is grappling with feelings many of us had before we tried it. She has said she realizes the benefits of breast milk and she wants to pump exclusively in lieu of bf, but I think as previous posters have said, that that is actually more difficult and harder to sustain.

And not to be argumentative or sanctimonious, but if only the things that made me "most comfortable, relaxed and happy' were best, I'd have to skip a lot of what being a parent is all about! In many, many cases we do what is best for the kids and not for us. For some, breast feeding might be one of the things that a mom does for her kids that she would prefer not to, but does anyhow.

[Anonymous]

Amen!

[Anonymous]

I remember feeling that way too. It just seemed too "national geographic" to me. I now have a 4 month old DD and am still BFeeding. It became like second nature at around 10 weeks or so. It took me longer then most, she was easy, but I still felt strange. I now find it soooo easy. You will get used to it.

[Anonymous]

mindbodybirths wrote:
Y'all heard about the San Diego Zoo? So, they had these gorillas who had been raised in captivity, and when the new babies were born, the gorillas weren't breastfeeding. Interestingly, for primates at least, breastfeeding is NOT an instinctual thing, but a LEARNED thing. (This is why it's totally natural to feel "odd" about it at first.) Anyhow, the zoo keepers got wise and what did they do? They called up the local La Leche League and had a bunch of moms come down and breastfeed their babies in front of the gorillas. And what do you know, but the gorillas learned to breastfeed quickly and easily.

ok - sorry but that's just plain weird and over the top