How is your average student doing in private school?

[Anonymous]

Our child is an average student. He is a nice kid - listens to the teacher, social, likes sports. DH thinks that our son will end up at a similar college whether he goes to public or private so he prefers just sending him to public school. I want him to get the best education that we can provide even if the college admissions would most likely be similar.

Would you send him to public or private school?

[Anonymous]

Public. Why waste the money if he's not doing well?

[Anonymous]

If you have good public options, I would definitely go that way given your priorities. I have taught in both public and private schools in the area and have not seen a marked difference in the quality of the education provided. Granted, the schools I have worked at hardly represent a statistically random sample of schools in the area. The differences in schools around here, both public and private, are huge, so I provide this advice with the caveat that you need to thoroughly check out your options.

The biggest difference I have seen between the public and private schools has been in the "add-ons" and diversity in the student and parent bodies. By add-ons, I mean school trips, teams, technology, and things like that. The private schools where I've been have more of them, but that doesn't mean they are used to promote educational excellence. I doubt I need to expand on the diversity piece.

As for college acceptance, many colleges have limits to how many kids they accept from a given school. Being at a public school might actually increase his chances of getting in, depending on where you go. Personally, I think you increase his chances if you can get him into a school that fits him well and allows him to find something he's passionate about, which isn't really about public vs. private.

Private does not inherently mean a better education for your son. If you are ambivalent, there is also the piece to consider (although maybe it is not a concern for you) that the money you could save by putting him in public school could go toward helping pay for his college education.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our child is an average student. He is a nice kid - listens to the teacher, social, likes sports. DH thinks that our son will end up at a similar college whether he goes to public or private so he prefers just sending him to public school. I want him to get the best education that we can provide even if the college admissions would most likely be similar.

Would you send him to public or private school?

What grade? Does he dislike his school? Do you have a problem getting him engaged in school?

[Anonymous]

OP:

I believe strongly that it is the average child -- like mine -- who benefits most from private school.
Brilliant kids usually find their way into magnet, AP and other enriched classes, and manage to remain motivated learners despite being in class of 30 students and more. The super talented ones will need no prodding to try their hand at yearbook or to try out for the school play.

I think the public schools for the most part -- speaking in broad generalities, of course -- don't do a particularly great job with the "average" kid. Lots of photocopied handouts, fill in the blank assignments, and rote learning. The middling student is the kid who needs to have learning brought to life, and I have no confidence that public school can do that consistently.

My DS was in private from pre-K through second, and in public for the last several years. He'll be back in private next year as he begins high school, and I cannot wait. I think that these years of public have taught him to study for the test, as opposed for the love of learning and to do enough to get by, rather than your best.


I really felt that the content at times was so devoid of real quality and thoughtfulness and rigor, that I worried that my intellectually average kid might not be prepared for college at all.

Another thing to keep in mind is that kids learn a lot from each other in any classroom. To the degree that they are motivated, engaged and challenge themselves and each other, your DC will have a richer educational experience.

One more thought, OP: I have a kid who is average in almost every way that a test (and there are many, many of these in public!) can measure. But we all know that most of our kids are exceptional at something. Mine is very, very good at the social sciences, including history and social studies, and is quite "emotionally intelligent" -- he thinks he may want to be a counselor someday.

If your DC is at all like my son, he'll have a far easier time identifying his area of talent, developing it and having it validated, than he or she can in public. As far as I've been able to discern, if the public schools don't measure it with a standardized test of some sort -- and especially if it's not being assessed for No Child Left Behind -- your DC has no certainty of being taught the material well. Just one mom's experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP:

I believe strongly that it is the average child -- like mine -- who benefits most from private school.
Brilliant kids usually find their way into magnet, AP and other enriched classes, and manage to remain motivated learners despite being in class of 30 students and more. The super talented ones will need no prodding to try their hand at yearbook or to try out for the school play.

I think the public schools for the most part -- speaking in broad generalities, of course -- don't do a particularly great job with the "average" kid. Lots of photocopied handouts, fill in the blank assignments, and rote learning. The middling student is the kid who needs to have learning brought to life, and I have no confidence that public school can do that consistently.

My DS was in private from pre-K through second, and in public for the last several years. He'll be back in private next year as he begins high school, and I cannot wait. I think that these years of public have taught him to study for the test, as opposed for the love of learning and to do enough to get by, rather than your best.


I really felt that the content at times was so devoid of real quality and thoughtfulness and rigor, that I worried that my intellectually average kid might not be prepared for college at all.

Another thing to keep in mind is that kids learn a lot from each other in any classroom. To the degree that they are motivated, engaged and challenge themselves and each other, your DC will have a richer educational experience.

One more thought, OP: I have a kid who is average in almost every way that a test (and there are many, many of these in public!) can measure. But we all know that most of our kids are exceptional at something. Mine is very, very good at the social sciences, including history and social studies, and is quite "emotionally intelligent" -- he thinks he may want to be a counselor someday.

If your DC is at all like my son, he'll have a far easier time identifying his area of talent, developing it and having it validated, than he or she can in public. As far as I've been able to discern, if the public schools don't measure it with a standardized test of some sort -- and especially if it's not being assessed for No Child Left Behind -- your DC has no certainty of being taught the material well. Just one mom's experience.

I totally agree with this. I believe that smart, motivated kids can do great in public school. However, the average, or smart but unmotivated, student really needs more than public schools can offer. Private schools pushes my son to reach his true potential. The classes are small enough that his teachers all get to know him and his strengths and weaknesses. They know how to encourage him- he is far from being just a number. There is no way he can stay under the radar as he would at public school. He also has the opportunity to participate in tons of different sports and activities that he wouldn't have been able to try in public. In public school, if you're not a star athlete, you'll never make a team.

I don't know if he'll end up in a better college than he would have had we gone the public route, but I have no doubt that he'll have a better educational experience and will be a more well-rounded person because of it.

[Anonymous]

So in terms of the interviews and applications (to a non-Big 3), how would I spin this? "My kid is completely average and is going to require some handholding and may be a bit slow, but is really sweet, so he would be a great addition to this school that you're trying to sell as academically rigorous?" What's the edu-speak on this... do I need to lead with my wallet here?

[Anonymous]

^^ and I should add that I'm not sure my wallet is going to blind them to the fact that my kid will be smack dab in the middle of the road.

[Anonymous]

Why not send him to a less academically rigorous private where he can shine and have his strengths be nurtured?

[Anonymous]

Not an interview veteran, so may be really off base, but I think you lead with his strengths... hard working, well behaved, interested in sports, compassionate, whatever. Don't discuss what he doesn't have, highlight what he does. I would also look for a school that values the "whole child" and not just rigorous academics.

[Anonymous]

Thanks. Good advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So in terms of the interviews and applications (to a non-Big 3), how would I spin this? "My kid is completely average and is going to require some handholding and may be a bit slow, but is really sweet, so he would be a great addition to this school that you're trying to sell as academically rigorous?" What's the edu-speak on this... do I need to lead with my wallet here?

If you can, yes. From the way you describe DC, it seems that is what you are bringing to the table. Your money, your profile, and mention that you are attracted to smaller classes. They will put you in the pile with all of the other wealthy people demanding 1:1 special attention for snow flake. Likely you will beat out a LMC family with a really smart kid , don't worry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^ and I should add that I'm not sure my wallet is going to blind them to the fact that my kid will be smack dab in the middle of the road.

Can you afford a 4-10K a year donation on top of full tuition, because that is the deal .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ and I should add that I'm not sure my wallet is going to blind them to the fact that my kid will be smack dab in the middle of the road.

Can you afford a 4-10K a year donation on top of full tuition, because that is the deal .

Rubbish!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ and I should add that I'm not sure my wallet is going to blind them to the fact that my kid will be smack dab in the middle of the road.

Can you afford a 4-10K a year donation on top of full tuition, because that is the deal .

If you are referring to the annual donation drive, average family donations range from $25 (seriously) on up. 100% participation is the real goal. Of course, the budgetary goal is to go after families with deep pockets.