If your DC goes to a Big 3 do you feel pressure about them getting into a "good" school?

[Anonymous]

I want my DS to get into the best school he can, but I also feel some pressure that he not go to UMD or a small unknown school because his school puts out a list of where everyone is going and of course parents will ask. it's not that big a deal, but it's one more slightly stressful addition to the whole process. Anyone else feel the same way?

[Anonymous]

Put this on the private school thread. We don't abide by the big 3 bullshit over here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I want my DS to get into the best school he can, but I also feel some pressure that he not go to UMD or a small unknown school because his school puts out a list of where everyone is going and of course parents will ask. it's not that big a deal, but it's one more slightly stressful addition to the whole process. Anyone else feel the same way?

Bullshit. Which school does that? I know for a fact that Sidwell doesn't and I've never heard of any of the other "Big 3" doing it. I have, however, heard that some MoCo publics do.

[Anonymous]

"Good" schools are a status symbol among the kids. Some can't wait to add Yale or Stanford to their FB profile. I guess Harvard, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want my DS to get into the best school he can, but I also feel some pressure that he not go to UMD or a small unknown school because his school puts out a list of where everyone is going and of course parents will ask. it's not that big a deal, but it's one more slightly stressful addition to the whole process. Anyone else feel the same way?

Bullshit. Which school does that? I know for a fact that Sidwell doesn't and I've never heard of any of the other "Big 3" doing it. I have, however, heard that some MoCo publics do.

I agree Sidwell doesn't do this, but other top private schools publish extensive lists, albeit in internal newsletters instead of up on the website.

Bethesda Magazine used to do a lot of legwork to put together annual lists of exmissions for area public and private schools. I don't know if they still do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Good" schools are a status symbol among the kids. Some can't wait to add Yale or Stanford to their FB profile. I guess Harvard, too.

Haha. Harvard not so much, according to my senior at a top area program who just got accepted at a different Ivy. My kid says that if you tell others you are applying to Harvard, they roll their eyes at you and think you're a status seeker, or that you have some hook you're exploiting because regular kids don't get into Harvard on pure merit (or so the perception goes). DC refused to apply there but got into an Ivy that accepts only about 1 percent more applicants. Now you're absolutely correct about the status value of Yale, Stanford, Princeton, Columbia and Brown, at least at DC's school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Good" schools are a status symbol among the kids. Some can't wait to add Yale or Stanford to their FB profile. I guess Harvard, too.

Haha. Harvard not so much, according to my senior at a top area program who just got accepted at a different Ivy. My kid says that if you tell others you are applying to Harvard, they roll their eyes at you and think you're a status seeker, or that you have some hook you're exploiting because regular kids don't get into Harvard on pure merit (or so the perception goes). DC refused to apply there but got into an Ivy that accepts only about 1 percent more applicants. Now you're absolutely correct about the status value of Yale, Stanford, Princeton, Columbia and Brown, at least at DC's school.

Nice of you to prey on OP's concerns by bragging. Very helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want my DS to get into the best school he can, but I also feel some pressure that he not go to UMD or a small unknown school because his school puts out a list of where everyone is going and of course parents will ask. it's not that big a deal, but it's one more slightly stressful addition to the whole process. Anyone else feel the same way?

Bullshit. Which school does that? I know for a fact that Sidwell doesn't and I've never heard of any of the other "Big 3" doing it. I have, however, heard that some MoCo publics do.

Things have changed then. In my day it was published in the graduation program, in the alumni magazine, and college admissions were announced in homeroom as they came in. Not to mention the wall of shame where we posted our rejection letters. So yes, it was a very public big deal. One of my friends (who ironically went to Wash U which is now a Sidwell favorite but back then was totally unknown) still talks about the pressure. I know current families who can tell you where every kid in the class went to college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Good" schools are a status symbol among the kids. Some can't wait to add Yale or Stanford to their FB profile. I guess Harvard, too.

Haha. Harvard not so much, according to my senior at a top area program who just got accepted at a different Ivy. My kid says that if you tell others you are applying to Harvard, they roll their eyes at you and think you're a status seeker, or that you have some hook you're exploiting because regular kids don't get into Harvard on pure merit (or so the perception goes). DC refused to apply there but got into an Ivy that accepts only about 1 percent more applicants. Now you're absolutely correct about the status value of Yale, Stanford, Princeton, Columbia and Brown, at least at DC's school.

Nice of you to prey on OP's concerns by bragging. Very helpful.

OK, why don't you explain what you think would be helpful to OP. After all, competition is a part and parcel of the whole Big 3 package, and it's hard to imagine OP didn't see this moment coming.

Private schools typically have about 100 kids in the graduating class, some more, some less, so it's a lot easier to keep track of who is going where. In public schools everyone knows who got into the big name universities, but for lots of kids there's a pretty safe cloak of anonymity and only your circle of friends will be aware of your triumphs and disappointments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Good" schools are a status symbol among the kids. Some can't wait to add Yale or Stanford to their FB profile. I guess Harvard, too.

Haha. Harvard not so much, according to my senior at a top area program who just got accepted at a different Ivy. My kid says that if you tell others you are applying to Harvard, they roll their eyes at you and think you're a status seeker, or that you have some hook you're exploiting because regular kids don't get into Harvard on pure merit (or so the perception goes). DC refused to apply there but got into an Ivy that accepts only about 1 percent more applicants. Now you're absolutely correct about the status value of Yale, Stanford, Princeton, Columbia and Brown, at least at DC's school.

Nice of you to prey on OP's concerns by bragging. Very helpful.

OK, why don't you explain what you think would be helpful to OP. After all, competition is a part and parcel of the whole Big 3 package, and it's hard to imagine OP didn't see this moment coming.

Private schools typically have about 100 kids in the graduating class, some more, some less, so it's a lot easier to keep track of who is going where. In public schools everyone knows who got into the big name universities, but for lots of kids there's a pretty safe cloak of anonymity and only your circle of friends will be aware of your triumphs and disappointments.

Therapy.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm 19:52/20:19. I was really only trying to make an anti-status point about Harvard, but 20:05 didn't appreciate it. I do know some kids who are seniors at Big 3s this year, and I've heard about some incredible stress. I'm sympathetic to the kids even if I'm a little less sympathetic to the parents, because really this is about the kids not the parents. In any case, let me try again.

Your kid will get into a good school, coming from a Big 3. It may not be an elite university, but it will likely be a good SLAC that would be well respected in most corners of the U.S. And it will very likely be a good fit for your kid, as most SLACs and even road-less-traveled schools provide great educations.

Your kid graduates in late May or June. You hear from the colleges in two weeks. This means that you really only have two months of dealing with the other families. I'm more concerned about your kid explaining possible rejections to other kids, than I am about you dealing with the other parents, although I do get it.

In any case - all you have to do is put on a good face for two months. Then poof, you're outta there and you'll never have to deal with the other families again. You can do two months!

Remember, it's about your kid, not about you. Your kid might get in somewhere impressive, but even if he doesn't, don't let him see your disappointment.

[Anonymous]

Ncs puts out a list. I am an alum and still read it every year (sick, I know). The school newspaper used to publish an issue with who was going where and how many applied to each college and got n or rejected. The paper was issued on flag day, the day before graduation, and everyone would stand in line for flag day gossiping about who got in where.

[Anonymous]

I have an NCS senior and they don't do this anymore. For exactly that reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an NCS senior and they don't do this anymore. For exactly that reason.

My DD graduated about five years ago and they stopped putting each girls name next to their schools that year. Now they list the schools and number of acceptances. The list comes out in the Aug/Sept/Oct Bulletin.

Flag Day is bad enough for the girls who don't win anything and on top of it a school acceptance list. That must have been pretty shitty to have to sit through if you weren't a "star."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Good" schools are a status symbol among the kids. Some can't wait to add Yale or Stanford to their FB profile. I guess Harvard, too.

Kids should be rightfully proud of gaining admission to those schools. Dismissing it as a "status" symbol betrays your own insecurity and envy.