Yes, I am obsessing about admissions and no, I don't feel bad about it.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I am a little bonkers right now waiting to hear from schools. Don't tell me to chill out or calm down. I will do that next week. This week I am obsessed and anxious about my child's education. Just like accepting a job offer, buying a house, buying a car, selecting a neighborhood or community, this is a big decision that is possible, but not easy, to reverse. What's more, it will affect my child even more than it affects me. And I have the responsibility to choose for him, since he's not old enough to do it himself. That's a responsibility I take seriously. I am hanging out here, on this forum, so I don't drive my friends, family, and colleagues crazy too. Most of the people on this forum right now are going through the same thing, so I feel like I am in good company. Stop telling me to relax. It's just not a relaxing time, and this board provides a reasonably healthy outlet for all of the justifiable stress many of us feel at the moment.

[Anonymous]

The worst party I ever went to in my entire life was the night that admissions letters started arriving. Some people had heard nothing, some people had gotten good news and some people had bad news. It was supposed to be a friendly neighborhood cocktail and cookout. People were trying desparately not to talk about school but the emotions were running really high and people just left early.

[Anonymous]

I think I know why people are telling you to relax.

Much of what you wrote is false. It is easy to reverse, you can change schools. And it won't affect your child nearly as much as you are thinking it will. I will say this as the parent of two teenagers who have been to several area privates. None of them are do or die. They all have benefits and downsides. By justifying your anxiety with all this talk of responsibility (as if parents who make different choices are being irresponsible) is only heightening your anxiety.

I know this is not the response you want, but then again you shouldn't have written this post if you wanted something different. Your children are young. if you are going to flip out at this point over this, its going to be a long haul for you. (and, yes, you are flipping out. Clearly everyone around you is telling you that.)

[Anonymous]

Yikes. That sounds ugly.

To the OP: amen! You're in good company.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I am a little bonkers right now waiting to hear from schools. Don't tell me to chill out or calm down. I will do that next week. This week I am obsessed and anxious about my child's education. Just like accepting a job offer, buying a house, buying a car, selecting a neighborhood or community, this is a big decision that is possible, but not easy, to reverse. What's more, it will affect my child even more than it affects me. And I have the responsibility to choose for him, since he's not old enough to do it himself. That's a responsibility I take seriously. I am hanging out here, on this forum, so I don't drive my friends, family, and colleagues crazy too. Most of the people on this forum right now are going through the same thing, so I feel like I am in good company. Stop telling me to relax. It's just not a relaxing time, and this board provides a reasonably healthy outlet for all of the justifiable stress many of us feel at the moment.[/quote

But here's the thing, and I tell it to my anxious friends with younger kids, too. No decision is irreversible. Moreover, if your child is entering the lower grades, you really don't know which school will be the best fit for your kid because you do not yet understand what kind of learner your child is. We were thrilled to start at one school, it was the answer to our prayers. Once the oldest was in middle school, we clearly saw that it was NOT the right school for her. It was okay, but she was not getting what she needed. We moved schools by high school, to a "Big 3" even, in order to get her what she needed. Younger kid is doing well at the other school, but doesn't have the same needs as our first.

You have to be prepared to be flexible not matter what envelope arrives when. I get that you are anxious - but do not place such earth-shattering significance on this decision. You may well have to revisit the decision later, and it is easier to do if you haven't emotionally invested yourself.

[Anonymous]

Who are you people?! Obsessing over pre-K or K or some elementary schooling. Honestly, you are **worried** you won't get into a school where you will pay thousands of dollars, year after year, with no guarantee of getting much more than your local public? Who are you people?!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I am a little bonkers right now waiting to hear from schools. Don't tell me to chill out or calm down. I will do that next week. This week I am obsessed and anxious about my child's education. Just like accepting a job offer, buying a house, buying a car, selecting a neighborhood or community, this is a big decision that is possible, but not easy, to reverse. What's more, it will affect my child even more than it affects me. And I have the responsibility to choose for him, since he's not old enough to do it himself. That's a responsibility I take seriously. I am hanging out here, on this forum, so I don't drive my friends, family, and colleagues crazy too. Most of the people on this forum right now are going through the same thing, so I feel like I am in good company. Stop telling me to relax. It's just not a relaxing time, and this board provides a reasonably healthy outlet for all of the justifiable stress many of us feel at the moment.

fixed it:

But here's the thing, and I tell it to my anxious friends with younger kids, too. No decision is irreversible. Moreover, if your child is entering the lower grades, you really don't know which school will be the best fit for your kid because you do not yet understand what kind of learner your child is. We were thrilled to start at one school, it was the answer to our prayers. Once the oldest was in middle school, we clearly saw that it was NOT the right school for her. It was okay, but she was not getting what she needed. We moved schools by high school, to a "Big 3" even, in order to get her what she needed. Younger kid is doing well at the other school, but doesn't have the same needs as our first.

You have to be prepared to be flexible not matter what envelope arrives when. I get that you are anxious - but do not place such earth-shattering significance on this decision. You may well have to revisit the decision later, and it is easier to do if you haven't emotionally invested yourself.

[Anonymous]

Empathy check: when was the last time you actually saw someone calm down when somebody said: "relax!" Seriously, the most common response is to feel cranky. Some people are anxious. I don't think it's anyone's job to judge, especially on an anonymous board where we're all trying to post our thoughts, questions and concerns.

Dear Obsessing, I'm sorry this is so stressful. Clearly you feel there is a lot at stake. Glad you are able to get out some of your ranting here. Good luck through the rest of this week!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Empathy check: when was the last time you actually saw someone calm down when somebody said: "relax!" Seriously, the most common response is to feel cranky. Some people are anxious. I don't think it's anyone's job to judge, especially on an anonymous board where we're all trying to post our thoughts, questions and concerns.

Dear Obsessing, I'm sorry this is so stressful. Clearly you feel there is a lot at stake. Glad you are able to get out some of your ranting here. Good luck through the rest of this week!

Thanks, but I don't need an empathy check. There is nothing unsympathetic about my post (19:46). I did not tell her to relax, nor did I judge her. I merely shared with her my experience.

[Anonymous]

I was in your shoes last year OP and know exactly how you feel. The waiting is the worst. You just have to keep telling yourself that it will all work out in the end because it will. Whatever happens. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

How old is your kid? This blows my mind. The insecurity, the competition - how can any child thrive in that environment?
-Big 3 grad, none of whose high school friends are doing DC private

[Anonymous]

Do not calm down, relax or try and stop obsessing.

Figure out where you put the cigar cutter and cigars. Take the boxster out very late tonight when all the traffic has died down, head up to your favorite road, put all the windows down and wind through the gears a few times. Perhaps pull up on one of the overlooks on mulholland (oops, meant the GW, seem to be channeling my youth), and think how short the time is between you stressing about there school, and them stressing about their first job/girl/life.

Obsess all you like. You've earned it. Wallow in it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think I know why people are telling you to relax.

Much of what you wrote is false. It is easy to reverse, you can change schools. And it won't affect your child nearly as much as you are thinking it will. I will say this as the parent of two teenagers who have been to several area privates. None of them are do or die. They all have benefits and downsides. By justifying your anxiety with all this talk of responsibility (as if parents who make different choices are being irresponsible) is only heightening your anxiety.

I know this is not the response you want, but then again you shouldn't have written this post if you wanted something different. Your children are young. if you are going to flip out at this point over this, its going to be a long haul for you. (and, yes, you are flipping out. Clearly everyone around you is telling you that.)

Well said. And 17:46 is on the money too. I'm another parent of HS and college students who would completely agree that you're making too much of this. This decision is not irreversible -- kids change schools all the time. The school that might be perfect for your kindergartener could feel totally wrong by the time she's in middle school. And, really, no school is perfect; believe me, if you're child gets into your first-choice school, you'll learn that very quickly -- as we did. And, conversely, if you end up at your fallback, you might find yourself quite unexpectedly pleased -- I promise you that I know many parents who fall in this camp. Please, try to let go of your pride, your fears about not being a perfect parent, and your worries about what others will think. You'll feel a lot lighter -- I promise.

[Anonymous]

She never said it was irreversible! She said it was "possible, not easy, to reverse".
I empathize as I am on pins and needles waiting to hear from K schools and wondering if the letters will arrive Saturday or Monday etc etc and being cautiously optimistic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Empathy check: when was the last time you actually saw someone calm down when somebody said: "relax!" Seriously, the most common response is to feel cranky. Some people are anxious. I don't think it's anyone's job to judge, especially on an anonymous board where we're all trying to post our thoughts, questions and concerns.

Dear Obsessing, I'm sorry this is so stressful. Clearly you feel there is a lot at stake. Glad you are able to get out some of your ranting here. Good luck through the rest of this week!

I'm cool with judging: I think the original poster sounds crazy, over-involved, and self-righteous.