How Do You Help Your Kids Focus?
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Anonymous
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My first grader DD has trouble staying focused. At home, at school, she gets distracted just about every 10 seconds. Initially I thought that it was just normal age related things, but I volunteer in the classroom and notice her behavior first hand. She constantly talks to the other kids, and doesn't get her work done. Yesterday her teacher pulled me aside and told me that she was concerned with her lack of focus, and that she was surprised by how low some of her test results were. She told me that she clearly grasps the material but when it comes time to show it (either by retelling what she knows, or performing on tests, or writing in her journal), she is just not doing it.
Somehow the other kids talk in class too, but their work is still getting done. I am not sure how to help her with this. I too know that she understands the material, when we sit down with her at home, even though it's like pulling teeth, she gets through her homework just fine, she reads fluently, can add and subtract, is very interested in science, in history, and when I make her pause and think about each word she writes, her spelling is also great. Unfortunately neither I nor any teacher can give her 100% one-on-one attention all the time - she needs to learn how to function in a classroom environment where there are always going to be some distractions. She is in a class of 17, which I think is pretty good. She just seems either lazy, unfocused, or both. It is very frustrating because she is smart and has a lot of potential, I just need to figure out a way to help her reach it. Have you had similar issues, and if so, what are some of the methods you used to instill focus and some work ethic in your fidgety, distracted child? I would appreciate any advice you can share. TIA! |
Anonymous
| We got ours tested. Dx ADHD and anxiety. Concerta or focalin helped her w the attention part. |
Anonymous
| PP, what sort of tests, and where did you go? Sorry, I am not sure where to even begin with this. Thanks! |
Anonymous
| I have a smart, fidgety, unfocused child (age 6), and we're having him evaluated for ADHD on Friday. He's very bright and can do the work, but he just can't focus long enough to get it done. I'd talk with your pediatrician and get a referral for an evaluation. |
Anonymous
| OP, we're dealing with the same thing. Please don't rush to the drugs, doctors or go looking for a medical cause. It could just be a simple case of lack of maturity or a need to teach a little more self-discipline. She is still very young and a lot of this is to be expected. I would try working with her and teaching some basic organization skills (write down everything that you have to do, use a check list, tell yourself that you will not stop until you have done this for 15 minutes, etc.) as a first step. |
Anonymous
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She could be bored. Unmotivated, other things are more interesting than the lesson. She isn't invested in getting higher marks.
Is your daughter upset by her lack of focus? Is she frustrated she is trying and can't do better? |
Anonymous
| I alternate between a fog horn and a spray bottle of water. I squeeze one or the other each time she looks up from her homework. Highly effective. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
| You should have her evaluated by a developmental pediatrician. She will eventually become well aware of her differences and you don't want it to affect self-esteem. It could be ADHD but it could be other things as well as nothing. Information can only help her. |
Anonymous
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Is she getting enough sleep? There is a strong correlation between insufficient sleep (even a small but regular deficit can have cumulative effects) and ADHD-like behaviors. Some kids are also sensitive to some foods.
I think I'd ask my pediatrician and the school for recommendations for evaluation, particularly for a doctor who includes/prefers non-drug treatments. On the one hand, early detection can help your DC develop coping strategies earlier, but you also don't want to misdiagnose youth/immaturity as something else. |
Anonymous
| Is your child in FCPS or another school system with large class sizes? My DC has a hard time concentrating but who can blame him with 27 other first graders and a classroom teacher talking together in a cramped room. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
She is FCPS, but in a Title I school, so only 17 kids in the class. |
Anonymous
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OP, you might post in the special needs section. Here you will encounter the folks with ideological opposition to medication and even to the whole idea of ADHD. The fact is that ADHD is a medical disorder for which there is medical treatment. I have no idea if your child has it, but kids who do generally hit a roadblock in third grade when the demands increase and you may be seeing something tht will blossom into a larger problem. The folks who are telling you that its all about worrying about getting into Harvard are not just being mean, but have no idea what they are talking about. Kids who have ADHD that isn't treated (and I am not saying this is necessarily your DC) have elevated rates of substance abuse because they self-medicate. They suffer self-esteem issues and miss out on important academic and social developmental milestones. None of us who have kids with ADHD like the idea of medication. Everyone I know in this situation resisted that step for as long as possible, and most of us regret doing that. I know medication gave my DC a happier childhood.
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Anonymous
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I agree with this post. But I would also like to point out that some children can not take medication (my children) and I thought for years they were lazy but after evaluation they were dyslexic and a bunch of other things.
We moved to a school with lots of recesses and that helped immensely. (You may wonder why some kids are "overscheduled" but not everybody can just move schools. Exercise is a big stress relief and aids in concentration.) We also did behavioral therapy which is proven to have long term positive benefits. We also try to regulate their diet without being crazy about it.
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