I look and feel 10 yrs older since having DS... does it get better?

[Anonymous]

I only had DS 5 months ago and I seriously have aged 10 years... physically and mentally. I've heard the first 6 months - 1 year are like boot camp but seriously, I look back on my pre-pregnancy photos and I looked MUCH better than I do now. I have been unable to lose the 20 lbs to return to my pre-baby weight. I've tried very hard and am breastfeeding and still can't lose the weight. In addition, my face just looks older. Granted I'm very tired so the lines on my face are more visible but I'm just wondering if anyone felt like this shortly after having DC and got back to feeling attractive again in a reasonable amount of time (ie not 10 yrs). How did you do it? I want to look sexy again instead of feeling like I need to be on the next episode of "Extreme Makeover."

[Anonymous]

It does get better, but only if you make time for yourself. I'm not working with number 2. So I'm not constrained. However, with my first I went back to work when she was 3 months. I made sure to get in a walk at least three times a week. Then, gradually, I started to incorporate some free weights into my exercise routine - nothing crazy, just a some reps with 5 lbs or so. With number 2 (he's 5 months), right after I drop my 4 year old off at preschool, I take the baby for a walk around the neighborhood. It's good exercise and it clears my head. I'd also suggest doing a low carb diet. I had gestational diabetes with number 2, which was controlled by diet. And to this day, I still continue to limit my carbs. I feel much better. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

OP, i think you are adorable! seriously, you are still in what i referred to as Baby Bootcamp. it will get better, but your body has been through a lot, and on top of that, you are suffering from sleep deprivation and sensory overload. give yourself a break.

i didn't feel like myself again until i went back to work, 5 months pp. even then, it was another month before the weight came off (if you are doing all you can, just relax and wait for it. i know it sucks, but your body is trying to tell you something. it will let go of the weight when it is ready. just take good care!). for now, enjoy your baby!!

good luck. i'm rooting for you!!!

[Anonymous]

I'm just beginning to feel like myself. My DD is around 1 year old. My weight isn't quite there but I do squeeze in a facial here and there and a good pedicure to make myself feel good about myself. Splurging on a cute outfit that fits well so you are not reminded constantly that your body is not the same also helps. I got over the size thing when I saw how a larger size (8)fit on me. I felt and looked leaner than trying to fit into my old size 4 pants. Try these few things..I think it should help.

[Anonymous]

After the first year, I felt better, but still look like sh*t.

[Anonymous]

I think Celebrity moms distort the image of "real life" everyday moms. You shouldn't expect to look like you just stepped out of a salon. However, don't neglect yourself.....take time for yourself even if it is just 15 mins a day.

[Anonymous]

Botox, fillers and sleep. These are the only things I have found that help. I never thought I would do Botox until I did it, and now have gotten to the point where I am seriously considering fillers. The still nightly visits from my youngest (3 yrs old) make sleep too far out on the horizon for me to even see it. Exercise helps you feel better and your body to look better, but doesn't do anything for the tired mom face.

[Anonymous]

I was in the same boat.

I told myself that at 6 mo. post partem I would not allow myself to wear my frumpy lounge around clothes, but actually wear jeans (I lost all my baby weight and then some so I was able to fit back in my favorite pair) and a "good" shirt.

I also forced myself to wear a little bit of makeup. I found I had no time especially since the AMs were so busy and hectic already, but I forced myself and made it part of the routine...just like the morning BFing was part of the routine, so was wearing "normal" clothes and putting on makeup/combing my hair, etc.

It does get better. Once your child doesn't demand so much attention (although the crawling/standing/learning to walk phase is definitely the peak at the 6-12 mo. stage) it does get easier (DD is 15 mo. and is content to sit in the P n P and "read" and play for about 30 min!).

Hang in there.

[Anonymous]

Are you BF? How much are you sleeping? I felt and looked like a train wreck until I stopped BFing and the baby slept through the night (i.e., my definition of it, not the 5 hour thing).

[Anonymous]

Dear OP,
I hear you! I felt the same way the past two years since having given birth to my darling daughter. Now that I am pregnant with our second one, I don't even care how haggard I look. I have dry skin, tons of grey hair, I need a new crown (on my teeth that is), I haven't had a tan in years, my nails are a mess, I hardly have time to pluck my eyebrows, no bikini waxes....My knees hurt, my ankles hurt..However, I have promised myself that as soon as we are out of bootcamp for #2, I will start my vigorous exercise routine again (running and kickboxing) and I will start wearing makeup and waxing.
All I know is that many women get into the best shape of their lives YEARS after their kids are born. So I figure that I have time. And there's always botox too....
P.S. thankfully my husband is 8 years older than me so he started the aging process sooner than I did although pregnancy, childbirth and general child-rearing does take a much larger toll on women than on men. He still has zero wrinkles on his face...but he is losing a bit of muscle tone and he does have tons of grey hair and that's my small vindication for all of my youth I have lost.

[Anonymous]

Mommies, mommies-stop beating yourselves up-not to sound like Xtina here but you all are beautiful and you have all brought something incredibly beautiful into the world. Forget about your tummy and concentrate on the baby's-wishing all of you a good night's sleep!

[Anonymous]

I think all new mommies should get a day at the spa-not because they need to look better but because they need to FEEL better!

[Anonymous]

It does get better, but I have watched friends TOTALLY deteriorate b/c they never got over the hump. They kind of stayed in sweats and let their makeup go and stopped with the hair....you know. And that does not even include nutrition and exercise! It is really hard, but self-care may be one the biggest challenges of parenthood...

[Anonymous]

PP here again...I also wanted to mention that I deteriorated too, not just my friends! But I got it together, praise be the lord.

[Anonymous]

My husband has been a huge proponent of me getting spa treatments and going out with friends as much as I want to. However, all that didn't even start becoming realistic until my daughter was at least a year (partially because I was also in grad school at the time). I think that getting help with the kids (preschool, babysitting) is also a lifesaver. You can look good again, but it takes some time. Focus on resting and don't be so hard on yourself. 5 months is such a short period of time in the big scheme of things...