PSA

[Anonymous]

The other day I received an email at work (I'm a public interest lawyer) from the mother of a college student inquiring about summer internship opportunities. Please don't ever do this. Seriously. I also heard a story from a law dean who said parents contact him all the time to complain about ridiculous things on behalf of their adult children who are law students. I really don't understand what is wrong with this generation of helicopter parents.

[Anonymous]

Whatever. Mom, email me. I might be able to help your kid.

[Anonymous]

Let me clarify: I don't know this mom. She just randomly emailed me and is essentially doing the leg work for her college aged kid to find an internship. Who does that? Even my 22 year old assistant thought it was pathetic. Seriously parents, you can't do this sort of thing. It doesn't work. If you insist upon doing this, then use your kid's email address and just pretend you are the kid who is looking for a job.

[Anonymous]

That does clarify. If its a cousin or friend of a friend making an introduction it's different to me. I stand corrected.

[Anonymous]

Exactly! I've helped tons of law grads land jobs, and I don't mind when parents I know reach out for guidance or make an introduction. But Mommy shouldn't cold call potential employers. Period.

[Anonymous]

OP you'd do well to put this on the Private School and Public School forums. It seems to be mostly the younger moms (and some dads) who do this sort of thing. I saw it on college tours and at dorm check-in for first-years a few years ago. The helicoptering going on - wow. At some campus tours instead of hanging back and asking questions after the kids have a chance to, they scurry to the front of the line for the best "view" and monopolize the Q&A opportunities. Colleges now have to have strategies to separate first-year students from their parents on "drop off" day because the parents WON'T LEAVE.

Those of us who are older moms (full blown Baby Boomers) had parents didn't get involved in our lives at all for the most part. We definitely helicopter more than our parents, but we're nothing like Baby Boomers on the cusp of Gen X or Gen X parents. Therefore, posting in these other threads might make some sense.

[Anonymous]

My sister recently conducted a phone interview. As she finished the discussion, she had already written down "hire" on his résumé when she asked "do you have any additional questions". The candidate said "no, but my mother has been listening in and has some questions." And the mom proceeded to ask questions. Because of this, the candidate wasn't hired. Based on college graduate he was mid-20s and this would have been his second job out of college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sister recently conducted a phone interview. As she finished the discussion, she had already written down "hire" on his résumé when she asked "do you have any additional questions". The candidate said "no, but my mother has been listening in and has some questions." And the mom proceeded to ask questions. Because of this, the candidate wasn't hired. Based on college graduate he was mid-20s and this would have been his second job out of college.

C'mon, you're making this up. This can't be true. (Please tell me it's not true!)

Actually, never mind, I hope it is. Cause my kid (all of six years old) is going to have her pick of employment opportunities if other candidates continue to act this way.

Carry on, helicopter parents!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister recently conducted a phone interview. As she finished the discussion, she had already written down "hire" on his résumé when she asked "do you have any additional questions". The candidate said "no, but my mother has been listening in and has some questions." And the mom proceeded to ask questions. Because of this, the candidate wasn't hired. Based on college graduate he was mid-20s and this would have been his second job out of college.

C'mon, you're making this up. This can't be true. (Please tell me it's not true!)

Actually, never mind, I hope it is. Cause my kid (all of six years old) is going to have her pick of employment opportunities if other candidates continue to act this way.

Carry on, helicopter parents!

I swear it's true.

[Anonymous]

Wrong, 10:41...parents of current hs, college and law school aged "kids" are doing this. It's crazy. And I'm a type A lawyer myself, but I've become a bit of a slacker mom purposely. I am a child of the 1970s, and my over-achieving parents were very hands off and didn't helicopter at all...and I turned out fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wrong, 10:41...parents of current hs, college and law school aged "kids" are doing this. It's crazy. And I'm a type A lawyer myself, but I've become a bit of a slacker mom purposely. I am a child of the 1970s, and my over-achieving parents were very hands off and didn't helicopter at all...and I turned out fine.

Not sure were really seeing things too differently. No offense meant toward Gen X; it was a generalization and unfair of me to sweep all Gen Xers into one category. I do see many younger parents (younger than me ha,ha) unable to curb their helicoptering tendencies however. And I suppose if most of the people around you are doing something it's hard not to do it yourself or even think about whether doing it makes sense. And that's why I though OP might want to post on some of the other education forums/threads. Good for you though for taking a step back and letting your kid grow up!

[Anonymous]

^ we're not were

[Anonymous]

Helicoptering toddlers and elementary aged kids is one thing, but continuing to do so for kids in college and grad school is just crazy.

[Anonymous]

It's happening, colleges are forcing parents to leave campus.

OP, my high school student handles all internship, etc., tasks. I butt out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Helicoptering toddlers and elementary aged kids is one thing, but continuing to do so for kids in college and grad school is just crazy.

They like to be involved in job and house hunting after graduation, too.