Such an Awful Morning

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hello everyone, welcome to My DCUM Kitchen. Today's episode features Lightly Fried Tuna, a reader submission by OP which intrigued readers with its eclectic combination of ingredients and unique preparation.

Ingredients:
Canned tuna
Coconut oil, spoonful
Healthy and delicious spices for antioxidants: turmeric, cumin, coriander, red chili pepper
Optional ingredient: Bitterness over living in Fairfax

Instructions:
After you've woken up late and right when you need to be walking out the door for work, assemble your ingredients. Open and drain your can of tuna as the spoonful of coconut oil melts in the pan. When the oil is melted, add your tuna and sprinkle liberally with the healthy and delicious spices that provide antioxidants.

Toss with a fork to lightly fry.



When your tuna looks sufficiently lightly fried and luridly yellow, remove from pan. Assemble sandwich for lunch: bread and cheese. OP does not indicate what kind of cheese, so recipe tester used best judgment and went with a slice of colby jack.



For best results, let sit in lunch bag for up to 4 hours before enjoying at room temperature for lunch. Due to time constraints, the recipe tester had to take bite as soon as sandwich was assembled because she was already late for work and had to get in the car to harangue husband during hour long commute.



Verdict: tastes as bad as living in Fairfax when you desperately want to live in DC feels.

Didn't OP use toasted whole wheat? None of this Wonder Bread crap. I'm also not feeling the colby jack. I think this calls for swiss or provolone. Also, that picture is making my house smell like fried tuna fish.

Okay guys, first of all this wasn't Wonder Bread, it was Nature's Own Butterbread, which is what my husband uses. I had already wasted my last can of tuna and a slice of perfectly good cheese on this monstrosity, I wasn't using good bread on it either, especially knowing I would take one bite. I did have provolone, mozzarella and colby jack in the fridge but ultimately went with colby jack. I cannot imagine provolone could have saved this sandwich's soul.

It made my house smell atrocious. I also had to brush my teeth a few minutes later because the lingering taste of turmeric and tuna was not pleasant.

Knowing how bad it was when freshly made, I am struggling to understand how OP eats it 4 hours later and has the temerity to declare it "Yum!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok. It's agreed. OP and you husband! OUT OF THE GENE POOL!

This.

[Anonymous]

Oh Wise Sandwich Creator, I'm dying to know what your family thought of your little project? Were they both confused and horrified?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh Wise Sandwich Creator, I'm dying to know what your family thought of your little project? Were they both confused and horrified?

I waited until my husband left. My 2.5 year old is currently very curious about whatever I am cooking and usually drags a chair up to watch what I'm doing. As I was assembling this, she quietly got off her chair and left. My 6 year old said "What did you make?" I said tuna. She said no, you cooked skunks for breakfast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who over sleeps? Doesn't everyone have an alarm on their phones?

You are showing your youth. We don't use our phones as alarm clocks - all that blue light is disruptive to sleep.

WHAT.BLUE.LIGHT.

You dont sleep with the phone on your forehead all lit up... You turn the alarm on, lock the scree, and set it on your nightstand...

There is no blue light glaring.

You are showing your old age.

do you leave your phone charging all night?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hello everyone, welcome to My DCUM Kitchen. Today's episode features Lightly Fried Tuna, a reader submission by OP which intrigued readers with its eclectic combination of ingredients and unique preparation.

Ingredients:
Canned tuna
Coconut oil, spoonful
Healthy and delicious spices for antioxidants: turmeric, cumin, coriander, red chili pepper
Optional ingredient: Bitterness over living in Fairfax

Instructions:
After you've woken up late and right when you need to be walking out the door for work, assemble your ingredients. Open and drain your can of tuna as the spoonful of coconut oil melts in the pan. When the oil is melted, add your tuna and sprinkle liberally with the healthy and delicious spices that provide antioxidants.

Toss with a fork to lightly fry.



When your tuna looks sufficiently lightly fried and luridly yellow, remove from pan. Assemble sandwich for lunch: bread and cheese. OP does not indicate what kind of cheese, so recipe tester used best judgment and went with a slice of colby jack.



For best results, let sit in lunch bag for up to 4 hours before enjoying at room temperature for lunch. Due to time constraints, the recipe tester had to take bite as soon as sandwich was assembled because she was already late for work and had to get in the car to harangue husband during hour long commute.



Verdict: tastes as bad as living in Fairfax when you desperately want to live in DC feels.

Didn't OP use toasted whole wheat? None of this Wonder Bread crap. I'm also not feeling the colby jack. I think this calls for swiss or provolone. Also, that picture is making my house smell like fried tuna fish.

Okay guys, first of all this wasn't Wonder Bread, it was Nature's Own Butterbread, which is what my husband uses. I had already wasted my last can of tuna and a slice of perfectly good cheese on this monstrosity, I wasn't using good bread on it either, especially knowing I would take one bite. I did have provolone, mozzarella and colby jack in the fridge but ultimately went with colby jack. I cannot imagine provolone could have saved this sandwich's soul.

It made my house smell atrocious. I also had to brush my teeth a few minutes later because the lingering taste of turmeric and tuna was not pleasant.

Knowing how bad it was when freshly made, I am struggling to understand how OP eats it 4 hours later and has the temerity to declare it "Yum!"

This looks like cat food: Fancy Feast Tuna with cheese bits. Honestly lost my appetite after this close up.

[Anonymous]

I sleep with my phone charging, under two pillows, face down. It's my alarm clock and there is no light, although I know I'm sleeping on cancer. Whatever. Iphone also has a brown out mode but there would still be light unless you put it face down or sleep mode.

Also, I'm a little disappointed that our food blogger did not show the scoop of coconut oil that was used, nor the spice bottles. How are we to believe you used coconut oil, rather than common vegetable oil or, gasp, cooking spray to lightly fry. And what if you used sub-par anti-inflammatory spices. I'm unsubscribing from the list.

[Anonymous]

I love this thread. Op, I hope you're not upset by the pile-on, but it was funny.

Also, can my Dcum kitchen be a thing? I bet everyone has some fairly gross recipes to share.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh Wise Sandwich Creator, I'm dying to know what your family thought of your little project? Were they both confused and horrified?

I waited until my husband left. My 2.5 year old is currently very curious about whatever I am cooking and usually drags a chair up to watch what I'm doing. As I was assembling this, she quietly got off her chair and left. My 6 year old said "What did you make?" I said tuna. She said no, you cooked skunks for breakfast.

NP here. Wise sandwich creator, I wish I was your friend in real life. I love this description of your kids. SKUNKS. Dying!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love this thread. Op, I hope you're not upset by the pile-on, but it was funny.

Also, can my Dcum kitchen be a thing? I bet everyone has some fairly gross recipes to share.

We will fix each others' lives and marriages with the My DCUM Kitchen Compendium. Maybe next I will try to cook chicken wings in a toaster oven like the poor husband of the OP who makes him eat meat in the cat basement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love this thread. Op, I hope you're not upset by the pile-on, but it was funny.

Also, can my Dcum kitchen be a thing? I bet everyone has some fairly gross recipes to share.

We will fix each others' lives and marriages with the My DCUM Kitchen Compendium. Maybe next I will try to cook chicken wings in a toaster oven like the poor husband of the OP who makes him eat meat in the cat basement.

OMG, PLEASE DO!

[Anonymous]

Alibaba wrote:Someone once told me that the secret to a happy marriage is real compromise. Do you want to win every argument or stay married?

I think I told you that. Now I'm off to reward myself with some lightly fried tuna.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love this thread. Op, I hope you're not upset by the pile-on, but it was funny.

Also, can my Dcum kitchen be a thing? I bet everyone has some fairly gross recipes to share.

We will fix each others' lives and marriages with the My DCUM Kitchen Compendium. Maybe next I will try to cook chicken wings in a toaster oven like the poor husband of the OP who makes him eat meat in the cat basement.

I'm dying. Threads like this one are why I can't kick my DCUM habit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love this thread. Op, I hope you're not upset by the pile-on, but it was funny.

Also, can my Dcum kitchen be a thing? I bet everyone has some fairly gross recipes to share.

We will fix each others' lives and marriages with the My DCUM Kitchen Compendium. Maybe next I will try to cook chicken wings in a toaster oven like the poor husband of the OP who makes him eat meat in the cat basement.

I can't find this thread. Could someone help?

[Anonymous]

Maybe next I will try to cook chicken wings in a toaster oven like the poor husband of the OP who makes him eat meat in the cat basement.

can someone direct me to this gem?