Going home hungry after birthday parties

[Anonymous]

wTH: it isn't a "duty" to provide a full meal for guests at a kids' birthday party. The duty is to keep the kids safe and entertained. IF the party states pizza or whatever will be served, then expecting a meal is fine. The parties we go to state this AND the kids are typically playing so it doesn't matter. This complaining mom is probably the same one who allows her kid to gripe when he doesn't get a favor.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I clicked on this thread and realized I started it two years ago. Back in 2012, I had a 3yo in preschool and a 1yo. I didn't want to share details of times two years ago in fear that the hosts may stumble upon the thread and feel bad. The few parties I was referring to back in 2012 were parties that started late morning and ended around 12:30.

Now that I have a 3yo and 5yo, it isn't as big a deal if we eat slightly later if food is not served at a party. The vast majority we attend do serve pizza no matter what time of day. I still think it is poor hosting to not offer adequate food at a party. We still get invited to parties that are usually late morning or late afternoon. These times push into meal time and kids should be fed. I don't feel as insulted if parents are not offered food. I don't even like pizza. I just think it is polite to offer food and beverage to guests and I still consider the parent a guest when children are 5 and under where the parent has to stay present throughout the party.

Recently attended a 2hr party at Ideaventions 5-7pm and parents were offered absolutely nothing. Every parent stayed for this kid's 5th birthday party. There was barely enough pizza for the kids and each kid got one juice box. My kid was still thirsty and could not get a second beverage. I was starving and thirsty as there were no beverages for the parents. I would consider this poor hosting! The birthday child and most of the guests had to travel 30 minutes to this place. At least offer the parents a drink.

[Anonymous]

I agree with you OP. Of course I'd never pipe up and complain in person but as an anonymous poster, I think it's fair to share that if you're hosting a party that runs past 6, then that's a dinner party. If your party runs past noon, that's a lunch party. You're not obliged to feed me or the kids of course but I will be surprised if you don't.

Of course most do but the few friends who don't offer proper food (and no, cake alone is not proper food when it's lunch or dinner time) just make the whole thing uncomfortable. I think people forget that they're hosting a "party" - there are a few basic things that entails.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I clicked on this thread and realized I started it two years ago. Back in 2012, I had a 3yo in preschool and a 1yo. I didn't want to share details of times two years ago in fear that the hosts may stumble upon the thread and feel bad. The few parties I was referring to back in 2012 were parties that started late morning and ended around 12:30.

Now that I have a 3yo and 5yo, it isn't as big a deal if we eat slightly later if food is not served at a party. The vast majority we attend do serve pizza no matter what time of day. I still think it is poor hosting to not offer adequate food at a party. We still get invited to parties that are usually late morning [u]or late afternoon. These times push into meal time and kids should be fed. I don't feel as insulted if parents are not offered food. I don't even like pizza. I just think it is polite to offer food and beverage to guests and I still consider the parent a guest when children are 5 and under where the parent has to stay present throughout the party.

Recently attended a 2hr party at Ideaventions 5-7pm and parents were offered absolutely nothing. Every parent stayed for this kid's 5th birthday party. There was barely enough pizza for the kids and each kid got one juice box. My kid was still thirsty and could not get a second beverage. I was starving and thirsty as there were no beverages for the parents. I would consider this poor hosting! The birthday child and most of the guests had to travel 30 minutes to this place. At least offer the parents a drink.

I agree that a party between 5-7 should serve food. I do not agree that food (other than cake) is required for a "late morning" party. A party from 10-12 or 10-11:30 need not serve food. Ditto for late afternoon. Pushing towards a meal time is not the same of being during a meal time. I'm not sure why you're still griping about something from 2 years ago. Bring snacks. Bring a water bottle. Move on...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I clicked on this thread and realized I started it two years ago. Back in 2012, I had a 3yo in preschool and a 1yo. I didn't want to share details of times two years ago in fear that the hosts may stumble upon the thread and feel bad. The few parties I was referring to back in 2012 were parties that started late morning and ended around 12:30.

Now that I have a 3yo and 5yo, it isn't as big a deal if we eat slightly later if food is not served at a party. The vast majority we attend do serve pizza no matter what time of day. I still think it is poor hosting to not offer adequate food at a party. We still get invited to parties that are usually late morning [u]or late afternoon. These times push into meal time and kids should be fed. I don't feel as insulted if parents are not offered food. I don't even like pizza. I just think it is polite to offer food and beverage to guests and I still consider the parent a guest when children are 5 and under where the parent has to stay present throughout the party.

Recently attended a 2hr party at Ideaventions 5-7pm and parents were offered absolutely nothing. Every parent stayed for this kid's 5th birthday party. There was barely enough pizza for the kids and each kid got one juice box. My kid was still thirsty and could not get a second beverage. I was starving and thirsty as there were no beverages for the parents. I would consider this poor hosting! The birthday child and most of the guests had to travel 30 minutes to this place. At least offer the parents a drink.

I agree that a party between 5-7 should serve food. I do not agree that food (other than cake) is required for a "late morning" party. A party from 10-12 or 10-11:30 need not serve food. Ditto for late afternoon. Pushing towards a meal time is not the same of being during a meal time. I'm not sure why you're still griping about something from 2 years ago. Bring snacks. Bring a water bottle. Move on...

If kids wake up early, lunch for them can be 10-12. Mine eat every two hours when they are in a growth spurt. I do not understand why someone would not just buy a few bags of cheap bread, lunch meat, cheese, condiments and a few bags of chips (and drinks - even if it is just wanter). Or, people can be coming from other activities and do not have time to stop to eat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I think you should only expect snacks at a kid's party, for the kids. Parents don't need any special food or drinks. The party is for the kids and kids don't need or want big meals at a party.

Unless it is a drop off party, you should feed everyone. What is wrong with you guys? How broke are you?

My parents were far more broke than 99% of DCUM families...and they fed everyone. I'm Indian, and even when times were lean, they could make a pot of channa, some rice , a vegetable and perhaps a meat curry, with some homemade samosas and other snacks. Don't have a party you cannot afford, people. IF you aren't comfortable in the kitchen and catering is $20/head, then have a very small party and make some sandwiches at home and cut them up, cut up some veggies for a veggie tray, make a tray of mac and cheese, etc.

Let's face it: it's just a cultural thing. Growing up here in the States (DC metropolitan area) in the 1970s, kids' bday parties were just for kids; the kids were dropped off; and it was usually like 2-4 in the afternoon on a Saturday, and the hosts served cake, ice cream, and drinks. That's it.

You are talking about something different: a party where adults and maybe other family members attend. Your parents thus served lots of yummy, ethnic, but inexpensive food. Personally, I do not care for this type of food so attending a party where this food was served wouldn't help me at all, b/c I would not eat any of it. Also, the smells would make me fell yucky and would sort of overwhelm the party experience to me. To me, a child's b-day party is not an ethnic Indian restaurant type of experience. But, whatever, if you held a party like this, we'd happily attend, be good guests, have nice manners, and go home. We wouldnt' complain about your choice of food, and, LIKEWISE, if you were MY guest at MY child's party, I would expect that you would recognize it was a different type of experience and you would attend and not complain about it either, not complain about it not conforming to your Indian expectations.

Geez, people. Different strokes for different folks. Ever heard of that?

Dear Indian poster,

It is not a cultural thing. You must have heard of the famed Southern hospitality? Well, food and iced tea was served on all occasions. Even is someone just dropped in, refreshments were offered. My family is Italian. You cannot come to our house without being fed and a doggy bag packed for you. My family would be appalled if you were not fed properly in our house.

Unfortunately, there are some ill bred people who do not know how to be good hosts. And I thank you for the food you serve at your hosted events.

So much thinly veiled racism from PP toward the Indian poster. Indian poster: I would love to come to a party like that at your parents house and so would my kids. And would fully appreciate the smell of the food cooking!

Nope. Not racist. Just don't like the food. Many of my daughters' friends and our best neighborhood friends are from India. I also do not care for onions. I hope that does not make you think I am prejudiced against onions and I hurt the onions' feelings when I say I don't like their smell.

[Anonymous]

Are you that cheap that you can't rode a few pizzas?
I don't care what time of day the party is... Order pizza cheapskate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you should only expect snacks at a kid's party, for the kids. Parents don't need any special food or drinks. The party is for the kids and kids don't need or want big meals at a party.

Unless it is a drop off party, you should feed everyone. What is wrong with you guys? How broke are you?

My parents were far more broke than 99% of DCUM families...and they fed everyone. I'm Indian, and even when times were lean, they could make a pot of channa, some rice , a vegetable and perhaps a meat curry, with some homemade samosas and other snacks. Don't have a party you cannot afford, people. IF you aren't comfortable in the kitchen and catering is $20/head, then have a very small party and make some sandwiches at home and cut them up, cut up some veggies for a veggie tray, make a tray of mac and cheese, etc.

Let's face it: it's just a cultural thing. Growing up here in the States (DC metropolitan area) in the 1970s, kids' bday parties were just for kids; the kids were dropped off; and it was usually like 2-4 in the afternoon on a Saturday, and the hosts served cake, ice cream, and drinks. That's it.

You are talking about something different: a party where adults and maybe other family members attend. Your parents thus served lots of yummy, ethnic, but inexpensive food. Personally, I do not care for this type of food so attending a party where this food was served wouldn't help me at all, b/c I would not eat any of it. Also, the smells would make me fell yucky and would sort of overwhelm the party experience to me. To me, a child's b-day party is not an ethnic Indian restaurant type of experience. But, whatever, if you held a party like this, we'd happily attend, be good guests, have nice manners, and go home. We wouldnt' complain about your choice of food, and, LIKEWISE, if you were MY guest at MY child's party, I would expect that you would recognize it was a different type of experience and you would attend and not complain about it either, not complain about it not conforming to your Indian expectations.

Geez, people. Different strokes for different folks. Ever heard of that?

Dear Indian poster,

It is not a cultural thing. You must have heard of the famed Southern hospitality? Well, food and iced tea was served on all occasions. Even is someone just dropped in, refreshments were offered. My family is Italian. You cannot come to our house without being fed and a doggy bag packed for you. My family would be appalled if you were not fed properly in our house.

Unfortunately, there are some ill bred people who do not know how to be good hosts. And I thank you for the food you serve at your hosted events.

So much thinly veiled racism from PP toward the Indian poster. Indian poster: I would love to come to a party like that at your parents house and so would my kids. And would fully appreciate the smell of the food cooking!

Nope. Not racist. Just don't like the food. Many of my daughters' friends and our best neighborhood friends are from India. I also do not care for onions. I hope that does not make you think I am prejudiced against onions and I hurt the onions' feelings when I say I don't like their smell.

(and when I say that the smell of onions is not one I'd welcome at a bday party)

[Anonymous]

You people who are not sure how much food will be served at a party? LOOK AT THE TIME ON THE INVITATION. If it's NOT a regular meal time, go in expecting cake and/or ice cream plus drinks. The time on the invitation will tell you what to expect. If there's more, bonus. But it's not to be expected and neither to be missed if it is NOT there. Signed, Emily Post

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:The ones that really puzzle me are when there is a 90 dollar boutique bakery cake and a box of goldfish. Its like wouldn't it be better to spend 40 bucks on sheet pizzas and 30 bucks on a giant cake and 20 bucks on juice boxes and snacks?

Whatever. That is the hosts' choice. Let them do their party the way they want to; you do your party the way YOU want to. Live and let live.

ooo that one hurt huh? did you buy a 100 dollar princess sofia cake for your little sofia and nothing else??? yup yup you did!

Nope. Ours was Costco with flowers and a sun on it b/c I do not push commercial characters on my child.

Well while you were at Costco you should have picked up a cheese platter.

Sorry. Not doing it for a 2:30-4 party. It was at Curiosity Zone and the kids were all in the lab doing experiment and activities until it was time for cake, at which time they moved into the eating room. Parents stand in the lobby and watch through the plate glass windows. At cake time, after singing HB, cake and drinks distributed to all, children and adults. At end of party, goody bags handed out and everyone was on their way. Done.

So the whole time the parents are standing the other side of the glass, there's nothing for them? No water? No cheese & crackers? I do think that's kind of weird but I have friends like you and I know to come prepared with water bottles for the whole family along with snacks in my purse when invited to functions hosted by them - my bag gets pretty heavy carrying around a half gallon of water but that's the price of accepting invitations like this. I would just hate to be that host who doesn't make her guests comfortable.

NP here but I think you are nuts. Sure, it would be nice to have some water or snacks or whatever for the adults, but 2:30-4 is not even close to being a meal time. While you have proved your ability to be self-sufficient (congrats, you brought yourself a bottle of water and somehow managed to survive), you come off as really sanctimonious.

I agree with the poster who said live and let live. A 1.5 hour child's birthday party in which only cake is served is not even on my radar of things to be bothered about.

Absolutely. You should have a "1.5 hour child's birthday party in which only cake is served[i][u]", just make sure you tell people not to get presents and also mention that only cake will be served.

I would love to drop in a party like that where it does not cost me anything.

Dear Clueless One:

A party which is scheduled from 2:30-4:00 already tells you all of the above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry but I refuse to serve anything but snacks and cake if the party is between 1 and 5. If I take my kids to a party before 1pm I would certainly feed them lunch beforehand and If the party ended after 5 I would plan to serve my kids dinner. I hate all this needless pizza served at parties and I hate that kids expect it regardless of the time.

+1

[Anonymous]

I am one who had simple 1970s and 80s parties too. CAke, ice cream, some Koolaid, "Pass the Potato," "Pin the Tail on the Donkey," "Musical Chairs," All in someone's basement. DONE.

My friend and I were recently joking about how kids' parties had gotten to be WAY too MUCH and how we wanted to get them back to the simple affairs they used to be. I joked that we were going to have a "Depression Era' theme for my DD's next party and, for fun, we'd have the kids all dig rutabegas and radishes in the backyard. Then drink water and hard tack and go home. Bye, happy birthday!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry but I refuse to serve anything but snacks and cake if the party is between 1 and 5. If I take my kids to a party before 1pm I would certainly feed them lunch beforehand and If the party ended after 5 I would plan to serve my kids dinner. I hate all this needless pizza served at parties and I hate that kids expect it regardless of the time.

+1

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You people who are not sure how much food will be served at a party? LOOK AT THE TIME ON THE INVITATION. If it's NOT a regular meal time, go in expecting cake and/or ice cream plus drinks. The time on the invitation will tell you what to expect. If there's more, bonus. But it's not to be expected and neither to be missed if it is NOT there. Signed, Emily Post

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you that cheap that you can't rode a few pizzas?
I don't care what time of day the party is... Order pizza cheapskate.

It's not a question of being able to afford it or not. Who can't afford a few pizzas? It's about saying, "ENOUGH! It's all too much!" An afternoon party from 2:30-4:00 (or, as some other PP said, anytime between 1-5) does NOT call for more food and I am not going to give in to the constant pressure for more, more, and more in this society. I am not doing it.