Tell me about your weird co-worker(s)...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. An older heavyset man who would fall asleep in his cubicle a few times a day. One of us would call his phone to wake him up. We’d hang up as soon as he picked up.

2. An older bachelor who after a work trip to Japan brought penis shaped pasta as gifts for colleagues.

3. A toxic colleague who would give a death glare to everyone, never returned a greeting, took her time doing any project. She used the grievance system as a sword accusing innocent people of imagined slights. She made life miserable for us. We were ecstatic when she left. We didn’t even have a farewell party for her. It was that bad.

I think this is hilarious! And I've never seen penis shaped pasta.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a coworker who would go through our offices after we left and leave things out, so we would know he went through our offices. The same coworker would unplug everything at the shared computer we used to serve the public, just so one of us would have to plug it all in the next day.

Another coworker memorized when everyone comes in and leaves, and points out if you come in later one day or leaves early. No, they were not the receptionist.

Omg I have a colleague like that, work hours police! “Oh, I see you are leaving already” and “you are early today” are some actual phrases; she only seemed to do it with me. I had to talk to her, she stopped, but now makes some comments about me WFH (it is allowed). She is not my manager but we work on the same project.
Unfortunately I am becoming a bit self conscious about it and looove it when she is out of office, but she almost never is; also never wfh. Says the room she is renting is not great for it. I am hoping for her to move in with her BF ASAP, maybe she will wfh more often.

[Anonymous]

Male co-worker who got food poisoning one day after lunch. Small office so 1 male/female bathroom you had to grab a key off the wall to get into, then put the key back when you were done.
He got so sick in there he passed out and after awhile we noticed, then got worried when we knocked and he didn’t answer, then decided we had to open the door.
I picked the lock (Sidebar: proud New Yorker, wowed my coworkers) and when we opened the door there was a combo of vomit, diarrhea and a pants down naked man passed out on the floor.
Poor thing, he was mortified but also moaning in pain,we called EMS but not before I casually (with gloves) grabbed the male porn magazine covered in vomit/diarrhea I spotted by the back of the toilet.
Discarded magazine under piles of newspaper, had housekeeping take it out, never a word spoken.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I find weird is how many "bathroom handwashing monitors" there obviously are lurking in the workplace. Sheesh.

I'm the PP - I'm telling you, it's really weird. Imagine being in a bathroom, a group of people even, washing hands, and someone leaves a stall right behind you and heads for the door. Everyone in our office (the women anyway) know she does it.

I am allergic to my soaps and so keep hypoallergenic hand sanitizer at my desk. So I use that as soon as I get back from the bathroom. I do sometimes still scrub my hands with water though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Male co-worker who got food poisoning one day after lunch. Small office so 1 male/female bathroom you had to grab a key off the wall to get into, then put the key back when you were done.
He got so sick in there he passed out and after awhile we noticed, then got worried when we knocked and he didn’t answer, then decided we had to open the door.
I picked the lock (Sidebar: proud New Yorker, wowed my coworkers) and when we opened the door there was a combo of vomit, diarrhea and a pants down naked man passed out on the floor.
Poor thing, he was mortified but also moaning in pain,we called EMS but not before I casually (with gloves) grabbed the male porn magazine covered in vomit/diarrhea I spotted by the back of the toilet.
Discarded magazine under piles of newspaper, had housekeeping take it out, never a word spoken.

You are going straight to heaven.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my coworkers suggested we have an office baby shower (which I did not request) AFTER my child was born, in case the baby didn't survive. She actually said this to me.

Was she a foreigner? In some cultures it is bad luck to give gifts or celebrate before birth; maybe she was just clueless...

Wow. I’m Jewish, and we don’t have pre-birth baby showers for exactly this reason (it’s seen as inviting bad luck by being overconfident). But I would never in a million years suggest that to a non-Jewish person!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I find weird is how many "bathroom handwashing monitors" there obviously are lurking in the workplace. Sheesh.

I'm the PP - I'm telling you, it's really weird. Imagine being in a bathroom, a group of people even, washing hands, and someone leaves a stall right behind you and heads for the door. Everyone in our office (the women anyway) know she does it.

I am allergic to my soaps and so keep hypoallergenic hand sanitizer at my desk. So I use that as soon as I get back from the bathroom. I do sometimes still scrub my hands with water though.

So in the meantime your germy hands are opening the bathroom door, touching things along the way? If you are allergic to soaps you should still run plenty of water over your hands at a bare minimum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. One who is a spinster and still lives at home at 32 and seems to have no life outside of work.

2. One who calls everyone 'Angel' 'Darling' 'Beautiful/Gorgeous'

These aren't that weird and don't bother anyone...especially #1.

32 isn't that old, definitely not spinster status. And living at home isn't that weird, especially if you are trying to save money.

+3
Even if she is bookish, I wouldn't call a 32-year-old a spinster. I also don't think #2 is weird, either. It's a common southern habit to use those labels.

I chuckle now when I read a Regency romance and they refer to a 23 year old as a spinster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A senior partner in a law firm where I worked took a nap at his desk every day in the late afternoon. He'd close his door about 3/4 of the way, open his briefcase (hard backed like a suitcase) and prop it up on his desk so it partially blocked him and he sat back in his chair and napped. I used to tiptoe into his office and quietly drop papers off in his in box so I didn't wake him.

I dunno, if he worked crazy long hours and needed naps to recharge this could be ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I find weird is how many "bathroom handwashing monitors" there obviously are lurking in the workplace. Sheesh.

I'm the PP - I'm telling you, it's really weird. Imagine being in a bathroom, a group of people even, washing hands, and someone leaves a stall right behind you and heads for the door. Everyone in our office (the women anyway) know she does it.

I am allergic to my soaps and so keep hypoallergenic hand sanitizer at my desk. So I use that as soon as I get back from the bathroom. I do sometimes still scrub my hands with water though.

But you're touching the door, the door handle, and possibly other things. Then we have to touch those same things after your germy hands have touched it. Super gross and not very polite or respectful to your colleagues. Bring your hand sanitizer in with you and use it BEFORE you leave, please!!!

[Anonymous]

I have a coworker that will stare at the women around the office and grow a very obvious erection that can easily be seen through his pants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my coworkers suggested we have an office baby shower (which I did not request) AFTER my child was born, in case the baby didn't survive. She actually said this to me.

Was she a foreigner? In some cultures it is bad luck to give gifts or celebrate before birth; maybe she was just clueless...

Wow. I’m Jewish, and we don’t have pre-birth baby showers for exactly this reason (it’s seen as inviting bad luck by being overconfident). But I would never in a million years suggest that to a non-Jewish person!

Best to always ask if the colleague / family is comfortable with getting gifts or having a shower before birth but omg no need for the morbid tone. Is this coworker generally socially awkward?

[Anonymous]

The angry interoffice mail delivery boy (incel in his 30's). If anyone would shoot the place up it's him. I am extra nice to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to work with a guy who I'm pretty convinced was a sociopath. He loved playing little tricks on other coworkers. He used to tell me (he trusted me I guess) about how he never felt guilty about anything he did. He pretty much hated all our other coworkers, and he'd mock them in various ways.

Glad to be out of that office!

Sounds familiar. What was the first letter of his first name?

If he’s in DC, gay, and works for a major news organization, I know him. Mean for the sport of it, punches down, would push own mom in front of a bus to get ahead, etc.

Honey he didn’t like you either. He was making fun of you to other coworkers while pretending that coworker was the one he liked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I find weird is how many "bathroom handwashing monitors" there obviously are lurking in the workplace. Sheesh.

I'm the PP - I'm telling you, it's really weird. Imagine being in a bathroom, a group of people even, washing hands, and someone leaves a stall right behind you and heads for the door. Everyone in our office (the women anyway) know she does it.

I am allergic to my soaps and so keep hypoallergenic hand sanitizer at my desk. So I use that as soon as I get back from the bathroom. I do sometimes still scrub my hands with water though.

But you're touching the door, the door handle, and possibly other things. Then we have to touch those same things after your germy hands have touched it. Super gross and not very polite or respectful to your colleagues. Bring your hand sanitizer in with you and use it BEFORE you leave, please!!!

A lot of times I do. But I can open the door without touching a handle and then go directly to my desk where the squirt bottle is. Also, a lot of times I scrub my hands with just water which does a lot, and then do the hand sanitizer at my desk.