Gene Hackman R.I.P.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where was she that she was inhaling rodent union and droppings to contract hantavirus?

You can get it outside- it’s inhalation of aerosolized bits. Contracting hantavirus doesn’t mean that you were living in gross conditions, although having a lot of old dripping around increases risk. I think if the house had been in a bad state it would have been noted in the search warrant.

I did think after we got initial autopsy report that Betsy must have had a heart attack, stroke or aneurysm and Gene died shortly after, possibly because Betsy wasn’t able to make sure he took his medication. What a sad and awful end.

It seems like the kids may not have known he had Alz, and that Betsy was pretty secretive. I wonder if she’d promised him never to put him into a facility and it spiraled from there.

[Anonymous]

She last appeared on videos on 2/11 and the assume that’s the day she died? Seems a strange way to determine day of death.

[Anonymous]

I agree with this. Better thing would be when did she last use phone or search on computers etc. You know he was seen driving less tha. a year ago so doubting he had sever alzheimer’s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Now New Mexico is going to be checking everyone at the stores that she went to in her last days for plague.

Hanta virus is rare but not unheard of, especially in New Mexico. But what a horrifying story! Nothing like any of us first thought, when we heard.

It doesn’t spread from person to person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just don’t/can’t understand how they had no help at all! No housecleaners? How did she grocery shop? Did she ever leave the house? Seems like he shouldn’t have been left alone for her to even run small errands. Our next door neighbor has full blown dementia. His adult daughter and son in law live there, plus they have at least 8 hours of health aides per day. And they aren’t even that wealthy! This is all so bizarre. And Hantavius was just mentioned on The Pitt and here it is in real life!

My dad has dementia and heart failure, and mostly sat around watching TV. My mom could go to the grocery store, etc. - she just couldn’t stay gone longer than about 4 hours.

Also, my dad did Pilates and yoga, as well as rode an exercise bike. That said, he stopped the exercise classes once he could no longer drive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Now New Mexico is going to be checking everyone at the stores that she went to in her last days for plague.

Hanta virus is rare but not unheard of, especially in New Mexico. But what a horrifying story! Nothing like any of us first thought, when we heard.

It doesn’t spread from person to person.

You're correct. I just have a hard time getting in the mindset of a disease that would not involve contact tracing. My mistake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with this. Better thing would be when did she last use phone or search on computers etc. You know he was seen driving less tha. a year ago so doubting he had sever alzheimer’s.

It was based on that. She never opened another email again after 2/11 and that was a regular form of communication for her.

[Anonymous]

That is such a sad way to die. Why were they so isolated? He had children. They likely had plenty of money for people who could help. Not even a cleaning person?

[Anonymous]

Obviously I don’t know them, but my dad is elderly and his wife is 20 years younger than him. She’s pretty controlling about his care. Not in an aggressive way - she and I get along fine - but she sees herself as his caretaker and likes doing it by herself. I personally think he could get a little better care with professionals but she’d never allow it.

Plus when you are dealing with a second wife, it can add to distance with the adult children. Especially if they don’t get along with the wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where was she that she was inhaling rodent union and droppings to contract hantavirus?

New Mexico. More common in the Southwest.

A report said they ruled out the house but that there were other buildings on the property that likely held mouse droppings.

[Anonymous]

I'm surprised she didn't call 9/11 but I guess I usually assume I just have a cold or flu rather than hantavirus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Obviously I don’t know them, but my dad is elderly and his wife is 20 years younger than him. She’s pretty controlling about his care. Not in an aggressive way - she and I get along fine - but she sees herself as his caretaker and likes doing it by herself. I personally think he could get a little better care with professionals but she’d never allow it.

Plus when you are dealing with a second wife, it can add to distance with the adult children. Especially if they don’t get along with the wife.

I agree. Especially since it sounded like she was heavily into natural healing/way of life. alzheimer is such an uncontrollable disease sometimes family caretakers get very controlling as an attempt to gain some control in their lives. It doesn't mean they're being intentionally nefarious but it's intense. I am going through something similar (no alzheimers) with my own father and his younger wife, though she finally decided a nurse and house was needed for them.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:How many responses are from 50-60 years old with a 95 year old parent married to a loving wife in her 60s?

Why does the age of the parent’s spouse factor in with how often someone checks in with their own parent?

+1 seriously!

If the concern is genuinely that they might be dying, then if matters because they have someone else who is able to take care of them in the vast majority of circumstances. Whatever happened here is the outlier, not a normal experience for someone in their 60s.

DP.

Thank you for your very clinical response.

+1 unemotional and unfeeling. We often see and hear of people left alone in nursing homes with fewvor no family visits or calls. Very sad.

What’s sad is that they often are simply reaping what they’ve sown, but because they’re old, you assume they’re the neglected victims.

I only know how I would treat elderly parents and grandparents. No one in our extended family would die and remain on the floor with no one knowing an out the death for weeks. If you think keeping a distance and not contacting someone for weeks is appropriate for your family members, then so be it.

*But I'm in my 40s and honestly I guess I don't know how I'd truly act two decades from now. I'll check back when I'm 65 and my 95 year old absentee father has a wife my age.

If you love a parent, you stay in touch, regardless of the spouse's age. Maybe not every day but frequently. His daughter said he was doing pilates and yoga. No, he wasn't. She was out of touch. He was frail, thin, and either used his cane or leaned on his wife when they went out.

Check back when you're 65 and your 95 year old absentee father has a wife your age.

I don't need to check back. My father died at age 88.

If you had checked in more he could have lived to 95.

[Anonymous]

His kids are going to feel guilty how he died. It's awful that he was alive for a whole week without any help and with dementia. At the same time, I guess dying at 95 with those health issues, it would've happened soon anywayz

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where was she that she was inhaling rodent union and droppings to contract hantavirus?

You can get it outside- it’s inhalation of aerosolized bits. Contracting hantavirus doesn’t mean that you were living in gross conditions, although having a lot of old dripping around increases risk. I think if the house had been in a bad state it would have been noted in the search warrant.

I did think after we got initial autopsy report that Betsy must have had a heart attack, stroke or aneurysm and Gene died shortly after, possibly because Betsy wasn’t able to make sure he took his medication. What a sad and awful end.

It seems like the kids may not have known he had Alz, and that Betsy was pretty secretive. I wonder if she’d promised him never to put him into a facility and it spiraled from there.

I also think that hantavirus is pretty common in that part of the country too.