schools w/ no merit aid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Long story short: we will not get any financial aid. We make too much for help but don't make enough to go full pay at a private in a way that leaves any wiggle room.

We are just starting this process, and child is an athlete that is in the midst of recruiting (only D3 at this point b/c of NCAA limits- and FTR I don't care if DC plays a sport or not but she does). I'm looking at the finances of the various schools and was shocked to learn that some of the schools she's been talking to give NO MERIT aid. DC has excellent grades, community service, ECs, and athletics.

I get she's one of many like man others . . . and I know at DC there are no athletic scholarships. But, how are people affording places like Wellesley? Their website and what I'm finding says they give ZERO aid on the basis that, essentially, "everyone there is special."

Yes, she can look elsewhere. And she is. But it is so sad to have to shut down a possibility that would, honestly, be such a perfect fit for her in every way. With room and board, etc. the cost per year is nearly $80K!!!! Two years would eat up more than our 529 has in it. Super bummed to have to limit her.

This whole thread is weird, and I gave up in the middle after people just kept yelling at this person for being rightly upset that college costs have gotten so insane. I went to NYU in 1993, which I think was literally the most expensive college in the country. It was about 25,000 a year. My dad was a doctor. Not a specialist. We were upper middle class, and my parents had saved money. I later transferred and that savings had enough money to support me through a graduate degree.

I did the math, and the cost of NYU has gone wayyyyy up proportionally from what it used to be--- and that's all colleges. Yes. If you were paying attention you knew it. We have a 529 plan and my parents did the in state tuition plan for our kid (which now I sort of regret), but it's still a big difference when you're theoretically considering this stuff to being like--wow---we could end up spending 360,000 for one kid's undergraduate education? We are probably top 2% of household wealth, and WE don't want to pay that. Not unless our kid is getting into an Ivy, which she isn't.

That is why merit aid exists. It's not a "subsidy." It's because colleges realize that even wealthy families understand that the price is NOT worth it--not when you consider that your kid might go on to some kind of graduate program.

Thank you for the merit aid website. I was actually looking for a list JUST like that after reading his book.

OP, I get it. I think most of my friends get it. They either stick to the top publics if their kids can get in, go for lower ranking schools with merit, and few bite the bullet and pay full price.

You make 400K+?

where does it state they make "400k+"? It just says college could cost 360K for one kid.

for example, We were making 300K combined when our first was born. One of us became SAHP, so income went to 200K. We started saving for education immediately. So even with the cut in income, we were able to save $10-12k/year. By time oldest was 12,we had enough saved for them at "top tier university". Did same thing for next kid as well. Now Our income increased to ~300K when oldest was 4. So at that point we upped the amount saved per year--that's how we achieved our savings by time they were 12. But we choose to redirect ~$15-30K/year per kid to savings until we had enough saved. We made the choice to save, as we knew they would NOT get any financial aide and didn't want them restricted to colleges that would give enough merit. We knew it would be much easier to save for college than attempt to figure out how to cash flow $75-80K/year.

Then we let it grown, adjusted/added if needed and made sure to pull it out to "safer" investments as we approached college. We live in the DC area, so HCOL and even spent 4 years in San Fran, which makes DC look LCOL. But when we got married, we chose to buy a house that could be afforded on one income if needed (at about 2.5x the highest income at that point). We didn't purchase a home worth double that despite the fact we could have easily done that. Instead we learned to live on a bit less in anticipation of wanting a SAHP (despite the fact I made over 6 figures when I took leave and we could have easily afforded a nanny). That choice (among others) allowed us to save for college once kids came along. But mainly it was making the choice to forgo other things in life in order to save.

SO while not everyone can do that (if you are truly living paycheck to paycheck, it's hard to save), I'd argue that most people making $200K+ (even in DCUM area) can probably find a way to save enough for a kid to have $50-60K/year and if you are earning that much can afford to take parent loans/cashflow the difference, if attending an 80K school is that important to you.

We are in our "starter home", driving 12 year old cars. Haven't been on a real vacation in almost 4 years. I had a serious medical issue, as did my DH, which tallied about $400K in medical bills. 4 sets of elderly parents that need help from time to time. Then there are taxes, insurance, and all the little fees and costs that eat way at the salary. We aren't "paycheck to paycheck." But we cannot save what you think we can. And it is absurd to think you speak for what everyone else "should be able to do." Screw you.

I never said "everyone else should be able to do so". I get that some have other financial issues. I grew up in a LMC family---I ate free lunch for several years at school when my parents were laid off and job searching, I stood in line for free food from local food banks back in the 70s/80s. So I get that. However, I was not eligible for full FA when attending college. So I had to choose what was AFFORDABLE for my family. I did not demand that I go to Harvard or Yale without paying the price. I choose a school that we could afford without me going into major debt (I took the student loans each year, my parents could not afford to take parent loans or help much at all). So I looked for merit and went that route. Got into more elite schools (3 of them) but still couldn't' afford it, so I didn't attend.

But I still will hold that many many could make changes and afford more but they CHOOSE not to. 50%+ of people I know drive new cars every 4-5 years, get Starbucks (or the equivalent) multiple times per day for themselves and all 3 kids, eat out constantly, go on vacation all the time, etc. Yet as our kids hit College age, many complain they can't afford more than in-state because they have not saved. For them, it was truly a choice, and they choose to live a fancy life when they could have saved and still had a better life than 80% of people.


Basically, everyone can find somewhere that's affordable---if 80K/year isn't for you, then search for merit elsewhere.
There are still many many many great options for college---going into debt is silly for college

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Long story short: we will not get any financial aid. We make too much for help but don't make enough to go full pay at a private in a way that leaves any wiggle room.

We are just starting this process, and child is an athlete that is in the midst of recruiting (only D3 at this point b/c of NCAA limits- and FTR I don't care if DC plays a sport or not but she does). I'm looking at the finances of the various schools and was shocked to learn that some of the schools she's been talking to give NO MERIT aid. DC has excellent grades, community service, ECs, and athletics.

I get she's one of many like man others . . . and I know at DC there are no athletic scholarships. But, how are people affording places like Wellesley? Their website and what I'm finding says they give ZERO aid on the basis that, essentially, "everyone there is special."

Yes, she can look elsewhere. And she is. But it is so sad to have to shut down a possibility that would, honestly, be such a perfect fit for her in every way. With room and board, etc. the cost per year is nearly $80K!!!! Two years would eat up more than our 529 has in it. Super bummed to have to limit her.

This whole thread is weird, and I gave up in the middle after people just kept yelling at this person for being rightly upset that college costs have gotten so insane. I went to NYU in 1993, which I think was literally the most expensive college in the country. It was about 25,000 a year. My dad was a doctor. Not a specialist. We were upper middle class, and my parents had saved money. I later transferred and that savings had enough money to support me through a graduate degree.

I did the math, and the cost of NYU has gone wayyyyy up proportionally from what it used to be--- and that's all colleges. Yes. If you were paying attention you knew it. We have a 529 plan and my parents did the in state tuition plan for our kid (which now I sort of regret), but it's still a big difference when you're theoretically considering this stuff to being like--wow---we could end up spending 360,000 for one kid's undergraduate education? We are probably top 2% of household wealth, and WE don't want to pay that. Not unless our kid is getting into an Ivy, which she isn't.

That is why merit aid exists. It's not a "subsidy." It's because colleges realize that even wealthy families understand that the price is NOT worth it--not when you consider that your kid might go on to some kind of graduate program.

Thank you for the merit aid website. I was actually looking for a list JUST like that after reading his book.

OP, I get it. I think most of my friends get it. They either stick to the top publics if their kids can get in, go for lower ranking schools with merit, and few bite the bullet and pay full price.

You make 400K+?

where does it state they make "400k+"? It just says college could cost 360K for one kid.

for example, We were making 300K combined when our first was born. One of us became SAHP, so income went to 200K. We started saving for education immediately. So even with the cut in income, we were able to save $10-12k/year. By time oldest was 12,we had enough saved for them at "top tier university". Did same thing for next kid as well. Now Our income increased to ~300K when oldest was 4. So at that point we upped the amount saved per year--that's how we achieved our savings by time they were 12. But we choose to redirect ~$15-30K/year per kid to savings until we had enough saved. We made the choice to save, as we knew they would NOT get any financial aide and didn't want them restricted to colleges that would give enough merit. We knew it would be much easier to save for college than attempt to figure out how to cash flow $75-80K/year.

Then we let it grown, adjusted/added if needed and made sure to pull it out to "safer" investments as we approached college. We live in the DC area, so HCOL and even spent 4 years in San Fran, which makes DC look LCOL. But when we got married, we chose to buy a house that could be afforded on one income if needed (at about 2.5x the highest income at that point). We didn't purchase a home worth double that despite the fact we could have easily done that. Instead we learned to live on a bit less in anticipation of wanting a SAHP (despite the fact I made over 6 figures when I took leave and we could have easily afforded a nanny). That choice (among others) allowed us to save for college once kids came along. But mainly it was making the choice to forgo other things in life in order to save.

SO while not everyone can do that (if you are truly living paycheck to paycheck, it's hard to save), I'd argue that most people making $200K+ (even in DCUM area) can probably find a way to save enough for a kid to have $50-60K/year and if you are earning that much can afford to take parent loans/cashflow the difference, if attending an 80K school is that important to you.

We are in our "starter home", driving 12 year old cars. Haven't been on a real vacation in almost 4 years. I had a serious medical issue, as did my DH, which tallied about $400K in medical bills. 4 sets of elderly parents that need help from time to time. Then there are taxes, insurance, and all the little fees and costs that eat way at the salary. We aren't "paycheck to paycheck." But we cannot save what you think we can. And it is absurd to think you speak for what everyone else "should be able to do." Screw you.

I never said "everyone else should be able to do so". I get that some have other financial issues. I grew up in a LMC family---I ate free lunch for several years at school when my parents were laid off and job searching, I stood in line for free food from local food banks back in the 70s/80s. So I get that. However, I was not eligible for full FA when attending college. So I had to choose what was AFFORDABLE for my family. I did not demand that I go to Harvard or Yale without paying the price. I choose a school that we could afford without me going into major debt (I took the student loans each year, my parents could not afford to take parent loans or help much at all). So I looked for merit and went that route. Got into more elite schools (3 of them) but still couldn't' afford it, so I didn't attend.

But I still will hold that many many could make changes and afford more but they CHOOSE not to. 50%+ of people I know drive new cars every 4-5 years, get Starbucks (or the equivalent) multiple times per day for themselves and all 3 kids, eat out constantly, go on vacation all the time, etc. Yet as our kids hit College age, many complain they can't afford more than in-state because they have not saved. For them, it was truly a choice, and they choose to live a fancy life when they could have saved and still had a better life than 80% of people.


Basically, everyone can find somewhere that's affordable---if 80K/year isn't for you, then search for merit elsewhere.
There are still many many many great options for college---going into debt is silly for college

No one is "demanding" anything. And I agree with the posters who say that people should not -have- to give those options up. There is a big benefit to going to some of those schools and you know it. But, it's somehow acceptable to dump on UMC people who aren't wealthy in the sense most of you think they are. After working their butts off (I also come from poor beginnings) and then they're punished for it.

The rest of your post is just conjecture and silly. Eating out and Starbucks is not a "fancy life."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Long story short: we will not get any financial aid. We make too much for help but don't make enough to go full pay at a private in a way that leaves any wiggle room.

We are just starting this process, and child is an athlete that is in the midst of recruiting (only D3 at this point b/c of NCAA limits- and FTR I don't care if DC plays a sport or not but she does). I'm looking at the finances of the various schools and was shocked to learn that some of the schools she's been talking to give NO MERIT aid. DC has excellent grades, community service, ECs, and athletics.

I get she's one of many like man others . . . and I know at DC there are no athletic scholarships. But, how are people affording places like Wellesley? Their website and what I'm finding says they give ZERO aid on the basis that, essentially, "everyone there is special."

Yes, she can look elsewhere. And she is. But it is so sad to have to shut down a possibility that would, honestly, be such a perfect fit for her in every way. With room and board, etc. the cost per year is nearly $80K!!!! Two years would eat up more than our 529 has in it. Super bummed to have to limit her.

This whole thread is weird, and I gave up in the middle after people just kept yelling at this person for being rightly upset that college costs have gotten so insane. I went to NYU in 1993, which I think was literally the most expensive college in the country. It was about 25,000 a year. My dad was a doctor. Not a specialist. We were upper middle class, and my parents had saved money. I later transferred and that savings had enough money to support me through a graduate degree.

I did the math, and the cost of NYU has gone wayyyyy up proportionally from what it used to be--- and that's all colleges. Yes. If you were paying attention you knew it. We have a 529 plan and my parents did the in state tuition plan for our kid (which now I sort of regret), but it's still a big difference when you're theoretically considering this stuff to being like--wow---we could end up spending 360,000 for one kid's undergraduate education? We are probably top 2% of household wealth, and WE don't want to pay that. Not unless our kid is getting into an Ivy, which she isn't.

That is why merit aid exists. It's not a "subsidy." It's because colleges realize that even wealthy families understand that the price is NOT worth it--not when you consider that your kid might go on to some kind of graduate program.

Thank you for the merit aid website. I was actually looking for a list JUST like that after reading his book.

OP, I get it. I think most of my friends get it. They either stick to the top publics if their kids can get in, go for lower ranking schools with merit, and few bite the bullet and pay full price.

You make 400K+?

where does it state they make "400k+"? It just says college could cost 360K for one kid.

for example, We were making 300K combined when our first was born. One of us became SAHP, so income went to 200K. We started saving for education immediately. So even with the cut in income, we were able to save $10-12k/year. By time oldest was 12,we had enough saved for them at "top tier university". Did same thing for next kid as well. Now Our income increased to ~300K when oldest was 4. So at that point we upped the amount saved per year--that's how we achieved our savings by time they were 12. But we choose to redirect ~$15-30K/year per kid to savings until we had enough saved. We made the choice to save, as we knew they would NOT get any financial aide and didn't want them restricted to colleges that would give enough merit. We knew it would be much easier to save for college than attempt to figure out how to cash flow $75-80K/year.

Then we let it grown, adjusted/added if needed and made sure to pull it out to "safer" investments as we approached college. We live in the DC area, so HCOL and even spent 4 years in San Fran, which makes DC look LCOL. But when we got married, we chose to buy a house that could be afforded on one income if needed (at about 2.5x the highest income at that point). We didn't purchase a home worth double that despite the fact we could have easily done that. Instead we learned to live on a bit less in anticipation of wanting a SAHP (despite the fact I made over 6 figures when I took leave and we could have easily afforded a nanny). That choice (among others) allowed us to save for college once kids came along. But mainly it was making the choice to forgo other things in life in order to save.

SO while not everyone can do that (if you are truly living paycheck to paycheck, it's hard to save), I'd argue that most people making $200K+ (even in DCUM area) can probably find a way to save enough for a kid to have $50-60K/year and if you are earning that much can afford to take parent loans/cashflow the difference, if attending an 80K school is that important to you.

We are in our "starter home", driving 12 year old cars. Haven't been on a real vacation in almost 4 years. I had a serious medical issue, as did my DH, which tallied about $400K in medical bills. 4 sets of elderly parents that need help from time to time. Then there are taxes, insurance, and all the little fees and costs that eat way at the salary. We aren't "paycheck to paycheck." But we cannot save what you think we can. And it is absurd to think you speak for what everyone else "should be able to do." Screw you.

4 sets of elderly parents? Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Long story short: we will not get any financial aid. We make too much for help but don't make enough to go full pay at a private in a way that leaves any wiggle room.

We are just starting this process, and child is an athlete that is in the midst of recruiting (only D3 at this point b/c of NCAA limits- and FTR I don't care if DC plays a sport or not but she does). I'm looking at the finances of the various schools and was shocked to learn that some of the schools she's been talking to give NO MERIT aid. DC has excellent grades, community service, ECs, and athletics.

I get she's one of many like man others . . . and I know at DC there are no athletic scholarships. But, how are people affording places like Wellesley? Their website and what I'm finding says they give ZERO aid on the basis that, essentially, "everyone there is special."

Yes, she can look elsewhere. And she is. But it is so sad to have to shut down a possibility that would, honestly, be such a perfect fit for her in every way. With room and board, etc. the cost per year is nearly $80K!!!! Two years would eat up more than our 529 has in it. Super bummed to have to limit her.

This whole thread is weird, and I gave up in the middle after people just kept yelling at this person for being rightly upset that college costs have gotten so insane. I went to NYU in 1993, which I think was literally the most expensive college in the country. It was about 25,000 a year. My dad was a doctor. Not a specialist. We were upper middle class, and my parents had saved money. I later transferred and that savings had enough money to support me through a graduate degree.

I did the math, and the cost of NYU has gone wayyyyy up proportionally from what it used to be--- and that's all colleges. Yes. If you were paying attention you knew it. We have a 529 plan and my parents did the in state tuition plan for our kid (which now I sort of regret), but it's still a big difference when you're theoretically considering this stuff to being like--wow---we could end up spending 360,000 for one kid's undergraduate education? We are probably top 2% of household wealth, and WE don't want to pay that. Not unless our kid is getting into an Ivy, which she isn't.

That is why merit aid exists. It's not a "subsidy." It's because colleges realize that even wealthy families understand that the price is NOT worth it--not when you consider that your kid might go on to some kind of graduate program.

Thank you for the merit aid website. I was actually looking for a list JUST like that after reading his book.

OP, I get it. I think most of my friends get it. They either stick to the top publics if their kids can get in, go for lower ranking schools with merit, and few bite the bullet and pay full price.

You make 400K+?

where does it state they make "400k+"? It just says college could cost 360K for one kid.

for example, We were making 300K combined when our first was born. One of us became SAHP, so income went to 200K. We started saving for education immediately. So even with the cut in income, we were able to save $10-12k/year. By time oldest was 12,we had enough saved for them at "top tier university". Did same thing for next kid as well. Now Our income increased to ~300K when oldest was 4. So at that point we upped the amount saved per year--that's how we achieved our savings by time they were 12. But we choose to redirect ~$15-30K/year per kid to savings until we had enough saved. We made the choice to save, as we knew they would NOT get any financial aide and didn't want them restricted to colleges that would give enough merit. We knew it would be much easier to save for college than attempt to figure out how to cash flow $75-80K/year.

Then we let it grown, adjusted/added if needed and made sure to pull it out to "safer" investments as we approached college. We live in the DC area, so HCOL and even spent 4 years in San Fran, which makes DC look LCOL. But when we got married, we chose to buy a house that could be afforded on one income if needed (at about 2.5x the highest income at that point). We didn't purchase a home worth double that despite the fact we could have easily done that. Instead we learned to live on a bit less in anticipation of wanting a SAHP (despite the fact I made over 6 figures when I took leave and we could have easily afforded a nanny). That choice (among others) allowed us to save for college once kids came along. But mainly it was making the choice to forgo other things in life in order to save.

SO while not everyone can do that (if you are truly living paycheck to paycheck, it's hard to save), I'd argue that most people making $200K+ (even in DCUM area) can probably find a way to save enough for a kid to have $50-60K/year and if you are earning that much can afford to take parent loans/cashflow the difference, if attending an 80K school is that important to you.

We are in our "starter home", driving 12 year old cars. Haven't been on a real vacation in almost 4 years. I had a serious medical issue, as did my DH, which tallied about $400K in medical bills. 4 sets of elderly parents that need help from time to time. Then there are taxes, insurance, and all the little fees and costs that eat way at the salary. We aren't "paycheck to paycheck." But we cannot save what you think we can. And it is absurd to think you speak for what everyone else "should be able to do." Screw you.

4 sets of elderly parents? Lol

The OP is the most entitled, rude poster I have seen on DCUM in a long time. I am assuming this is her/him again. I had cancer - F U. I have old parents - screw you. I drive old cars and live in a crappy house - F U. It goes on and on. OP, you don’t make enough or didn’t save enough. Your kid will be fine. Send her to UVA or UMD. You are welcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Long story short: we will not get any financial aid. We make too much for help but don't make enough to go full pay at a private in a way that leaves any wiggle room.

We are just starting this process, and child is an athlete that is in the midst of recruiting (only D3 at this point b/c of NCAA limits- and FTR I don't care if DC plays a sport or not but she does). I'm looking at the finances of the various schools and was shocked to learn that some of the schools she's been talking to give NO MERIT aid. DC has excellent grades, community service, ECs, and athletics.

I get she's one of many like man others . . . and I know at DC there are no athletic scholarships. But, how are people affording places like Wellesley? Their website and what I'm finding says they give ZERO aid on the basis that, essentially, "everyone there is special."

Yes, she can look elsewhere. And she is. But it is so sad to have to shut down a possibility that would, honestly, be such a perfect fit for her in every way. With room and board, etc. the cost per year is nearly $80K!!!! Two years would eat up more than our 529 has in it. Super bummed to have to limit her.

This whole thread is weird, and I gave up in the middle after people just kept yelling at this person for being rightly upset that college costs have gotten so insane. I went to NYU in 1993, which I think was literally the most expensive college in the country. It was about 25,000 a year. My dad was a doctor. Not a specialist. We were upper middle class, and my parents had saved money. I later transferred and that savings had enough money to support me through a graduate degree.

I did the math, and the cost of NYU has gone wayyyyy up proportionally from what it used to be--- and that's all colleges. Yes. If you were paying attention you knew it. We have a 529 plan and my parents did the in state tuition plan for our kid (which now I sort of regret), but it's still a big difference when you're theoretically considering this stuff to being like--wow---we could end up spending 360,000 for one kid's undergraduate education? We are probably top 2% of household wealth, and WE don't want to pay that. Not unless our kid is getting into an Ivy, which she isn't.

That is why merit aid exists. It's not a "subsidy." It's because colleges realize that even wealthy families understand that the price is NOT worth it--not when you consider that your kid might go on to some kind of graduate program.

Thank you for the merit aid website. I was actually looking for a list JUST like that after reading his book.

OP, I get it. I think most of my friends get it. They either stick to the top publics if their kids can get in, go for lower ranking schools with merit, and few bite the bullet and pay full price.

You make 400K+?

where does it state they make "400k+"? It just says college could cost 360K for one kid.

for example, We were making 300K combined when our first was born. One of us became SAHP, so income went to 200K. We started saving for education immediately. So even with the cut in income, we were able to save $10-12k/year. By time oldest was 12,we had enough saved for them at "top tier university". Did same thing for next kid as well. Now Our income increased to ~300K when oldest was 4. So at that point we upped the amount saved per year--that's how we achieved our savings by time they were 12. But we choose to redirect ~$15-30K/year per kid to savings until we had enough saved. We made the choice to save, as we knew they would NOT get any financial aide and didn't want them restricted to colleges that would give enough merit. We knew it would be much easier to save for college than attempt to figure out how to cash flow $75-80K/year.

Then we let it grown, adjusted/added if needed and made sure to pull it out to "safer" investments as we approached college. We live in the DC area, so HCOL and even spent 4 years in San Fran, which makes DC look LCOL. But when we got married, we chose to buy a house that could be afforded on one income if needed (at about 2.5x the highest income at that point). We didn't purchase a home worth double that despite the fact we could have easily done that. Instead we learned to live on a bit less in anticipation of wanting a SAHP (despite the fact I made over 6 figures when I took leave and we could have easily afforded a nanny). That choice (among others) allowed us to save for college once kids came along. But mainly it was making the choice to forgo other things in life in order to save.

SO while not everyone can do that (if you are truly living paycheck to paycheck, it's hard to save), I'd argue that most people making $200K+ (even in DCUM area) can probably find a way to save enough for a kid to have $50-60K/year and if you are earning that much can afford to take parent loans/cashflow the difference, if attending an 80K school is that important to you.

We are in our "starter home", driving 12 year old cars. Haven't been on a real vacation in almost 4 years. I had a serious medical issue, as did my DH, which tallied about $400K in medical bills. 4 sets of elderly parents that need help from time to time. Then there are taxes, insurance, and all the little fees and costs that eat way at the salary. We aren't "paycheck to paycheck." But we cannot save what you think we can. And it is absurd to think you speak for what everyone else "should be able to do." Screw you.

I never said "everyone else should be able to do so". I get that some have other financial issues. I grew up in a LMC family---I ate free lunch for several years at school when my parents were laid off and job searching, I stood in line for free food from local food banks back in the 70s/80s. So I get that. However, I was not eligible for full FA when attending college. So I had to choose what was AFFORDABLE for my family. I did not demand that I go to Harvard or Yale without paying the price. I choose a school that we could afford without me going into major debt (I took the student loans each year, my parents could not afford to take parent loans or help much at all). So I looked for merit and went that route. Got into more elite schools (3 of them) but still couldn't' afford it, so I didn't attend.

But I still will hold that many many could make changes and afford more but they CHOOSE not to. 50%+ of people I know drive new cars every 4-5 years, get Starbucks (or the equivalent) multiple times per day for themselves and all 3 kids, eat out constantly, go on vacation all the time, etc. Yet as our kids hit College age, many complain they can't afford more than in-state because they have not saved. For them, it was truly a choice, and they choose to live a fancy life when they could have saved and still had a better life than 80% of people.


Basically, everyone can find somewhere that's affordable---if 80K/year isn't for you, then search for merit elsewhere.
There are still many many many great options for college---going into debt is silly for college

No one is "demanding" anything. And I agree with the posters who say that people should not -have- to give those options up. There is a big benefit to going to some of those schools and you know it. But, it's somehow acceptable to dump on UMC people who aren't wealthy in the sense most of you think they are. After working their butts off (I also come from poor beginnings) and then they're punished for it.

The rest of your post is just conjecture and silly. Eating out and Starbucks is not a "fancy life."

I know people complaining who easily spend $200 per week eating out/Starbucks. That's $800/month that easily could go to college savings if they really wanted it. That's almost $10K/year on non-essential items that can easily be done at home for a lot less. And that's just what I can see----these people also take nice vacations, drive newer cars.

And no, the benefits of attending T20 school are not as wide as you make it seem, unless you are low income (and they would get full FA). For "donut hole families", the benefits are minimal. Those kids are smart, have involved parents and will go very far in life with their work ethic no matter where they go. In fact, they will do better if they can graduate college with minimal debt (ie. only the $5.5K of student loans per year or less).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, if OP's DD has all the desirable qualities OP describes plus $160K in her 529, she is going to have some excellent choices for college, including many reputable SLACs that give merit aid to strong students, just not top 5. She is not going to be spending 2 years at CC and transferring to state U flagship (which would be fine by the way).

My experience as a lawyer is that law school matters, not undergrad. If you have a student that is looking at law school, I would go a step further and suggest it is worth considering saving the money on undergrad (meaning go to a school that offers merit aid or a solid in state public) even if you have the cost of private undergrad saved and use the money for law school, which is more expensive that private undergrad these days and law school rank absolutely matters for job opportunities.

However, assuming that there would be a cognizable advantage provided to OP's daughter by attending Wellesley, then OP may want to consider whether the benefit is worth the loss of "wiggle room" in their family budget. It is indeed a privilege to have that choice.

OP never talked about their kid going to law school, so not sure how that was inserted into the discussion. The below list represents where Yale law school students went to undergrad (this was from 2020). The list below represents 397 kids out of total enrollment of 676 (so 59% of the class). The top 10 schools sending kids to Yale law school represent 46% of the entire school. Just so happens those are all Ivy League + Stanford + UChicago. Sure, you will now argue that it is not the undergraduate school that mattered, just that those kids were very motivated but just happened to pick those schools.

Yale (90)
Harvard (54)
Columbia (34)
Princeton (31)
Stanford (22)
Dartmouth (21)
Cornell (19)
UChicago (18)
Brown (17)
Pennsylvania (16)
Georgetown (13)
Berkeley (13)
Duke (10)
Northwestern (8)
USC (8)
Michigan (8)
JHU (7)
UVA (7)
Amherst (6)
Swarthmore (6)
Bowdoin (5)
NYU (5)
Tufts (5)
UCLA (5)
UConn (5)
UNC-Chapel Hill (5)

Sure, but Yale lawyers end up notoriously miserable and unhappy for the rest of their careers, so it’s not really that much of a win in the end.

Look, this conversation somehow got hijacked by law school. OP never said their kid was interested in law school, but then somehow it was introduced and started to dominate.

Personally, I think law school in general is a terrible decision...but would agree you need to really go top 10 or it is an horrific decision.

A bunch of posters then said it doesn't matter where you go undergrad, but absolutely does matter where you went to law school. Yale is historically the #1 law school, and it is clear that it DOES matter where you went to undergrad if you want to increase your chances of acceptance to Yale (and I bet Harvard and Stanford and law schools 2-10 look fairly similar).

One thing I learned as a lawyer is never to make conclusions without seeing and understanding the data. Pp, according to them, supplied schools of origin for half the school, where is the rest? Also, pp describes the list as reflecting one first year class which is clearly not the case, as a first year class at Yale is about 200 students, not 600. So not sure what data exactly they are reporting.

At my T5 law school, the most students we had for any one college was 7, from Harvard. No other school had more than 4. Most had one. Hardly some huge advantage to go to any particular school

Also Wellesley, the school that op is lamenting, is not even on this list. So not worth the $80k as some have suggested?

Great post!

I'm not a lawyer so I can speculate

I'm gonna guess, more kids from T20 schools go to Top 5-10 Law schools simply because they have the $$$ (Gotta be rich to afford $300K+ for law school, or willing to take huge financial risks/loans and hope you can pay it back--someone who grew up MC is not as likely to attempt this) and because T20 schools are already the "cream of the crop" as everyone attending is top academically and driven students (Similar to how kids from the Top 3 privates in DC area are more likely to attend a T20 university/T20 SLAC than someone from Baltimore City public schools) . Those who get into T5-10 Law schools from non Ivy/Non T20 undergrads most likely had the same drive, academics in HS, but chose for many reasons to attend a different undergrad (didn't get into a T20 like majority dont, couldn't afford it---which is smart if you want to attend law school save your $$ for that, etc), or they just hit their stride in undergrad and became a better student/focused on law school.

My husband attended university of Chicago Law and was accepted at Harvard, Standford and Georgetow n and went to UTEP undergrad. He had a single mom and that was the most she could afford. I would not spemd over $300k for a 4 year degree to raise my kid’ s chances to go to a top law school. That is silly.

The irony is your husband could have gone to Yale for FREE based on the profile you describe. UTEP was therefore not a great choice and perhaps your husband would have been afforded opportunities such that he wouldn’t have to blow $300k on law school.

Not PP, but back then (assuming 80s/90s) the elite schools did NOT meet financial need like they do now. And the ability to research and figure out what top schools would meet financial need was a bit different without the internet (I mean we researched schools by sending a letter or calling and requesting they send us a booklet/glossy about the school and the programs we were interested in---there were not college counselors at our High Schools, or at least not at my public school). So perhaps his single mom was not aware of the opportunities or how to find them---it was a very very different time than we currently live in. Maybe he got a good financial aid package, but it wasn't enough considering the costs of transportation, etc. and mom needed him home for breaks if possible (most poor kids back then stayed at school except for xmas break when the dorms closed if they were not within driving distance from home because we couldn't afford to fly home---that was me).

That is not really true. I was LMC graduating HS in the 1980s from a 4000 student, urban public school (with literally no parental guidance on college)...and even our school was aware that Ivy aid packages were much more generous than other schools. Ivies still required loans back in the day, but their grants were still much more generous than other schools. My net cost after grants to attend an Ivy was significantly lower than the public in-state options.

I will concede that I didn't have the significant travel and other costs that you mention, which can add up.

My college roommate and Big Midwest University that most of you would rather die than send your kids to, got into an Ivy (I think Princeton) in the early 90s. Got no financial aid and her father refused to help (parents divorced, acrimoniously). So she had to pass on that. She got a full ride to our college but was not the same experience, obviously.

If your parents refuse to help...that sucks, but that does not entitle you to need-based aid. There are definitely parents out there that believe they have no responsibility to help pay for their kid's college, usually because their parent didn't help them at all and they are passing on the family tradition. However, no college will provide need-based aid in that situation. Sounds like her father had $$$s but was taking his anger out on his ex-wife and kids...again, this sucks for your friend, but no need-based financial aid college will take that into consideration.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Long story short: we will not get any financial aid. We make too much for help but don't make enough to go full pay at a private in a way that leaves any wiggle room.

We are just starting this process, and child is an athlete that is in the midst of recruiting (only D3 at this point b/c of NCAA limits- and FTR I don't care if DC plays a sport or not but she does). I'm looking at the finances of the various schools and was shocked to learn that some of the schools she's been talking to give NO MERIT aid. DC has excellent grades, community service, ECs, and athletics.

I get she's one of many like man others . . . and I know at DC there are no athletic scholarships. But, how are people affording places like Wellesley? Their website and what I'm finding says they give ZERO aid on the basis that, essentially, "everyone there is special."

Yes, she can look elsewhere. And she is. But it is so sad to have to shut down a possibility that would, honestly, be such a perfect fit for her in every way. With room and board, etc. the cost per year is nearly $80K!!!! Two years would eat up more than our 529 has in it. Super bummed to have to limit her.

This whole thread is weird, and I gave up in the middle after people just kept yelling at this person for being rightly upset that college costs have gotten so insane. I went to NYU in 1993, which I think was literally the most expensive college in the country. It was about 25,000 a year. My dad was a doctor. Not a specialist. We were upper middle class, and my parents had saved money. I later transferred and that savings had enough money to support me through a graduate degree.

I did the math, and the cost of NYU has gone wayyyyy up proportionally from what it used to be--- and that's all colleges. Yes. If you were paying attention you knew it. We have a 529 plan and my parents did the in state tuition plan for our kid (which now I sort of regret), but it's still a big difference when you're theoretically considering this stuff to being like--wow---we could end up spending 360,000 for one kid's undergraduate education? We are probably top 2% of household wealth, and WE don't want to pay that. Not unless our kid is getting into an Ivy, which she isn't.

That is why merit aid exists. It's not a "subsidy." It's because colleges realize that even wealthy families understand that the price is NOT worth it--not when you consider that your kid might go on to some kind of graduate program.

Thank you for the merit aid website. I was actually looking for a list JUST like that after reading his book.

OP, I get it. I think most of my friends get it. They either stick to the top publics if their kids can get in, go for lower ranking schools with merit, and few bite the bullet and pay full price.

You make 400K+?

where does it state they make "400k+"? It just says college could cost 360K for one kid.

for example, We were making 300K combined when our first was born. One of us became SAHP, so income went to 200K. We started saving for education immediately. So even with the cut in income, we were able to save $10-12k/year. By time oldest was 12,we had enough saved for them at "top tier university". Did same thing for next kid as well. Now Our income increased to ~300K when oldest was 4. So at that point we upped the amount saved per year--that's how we achieved our savings by time they were 12. But we choose to redirect ~$15-30K/year per kid to savings until we had enough saved. We made the choice to save, as we knew they would NOT get any financial aide and didn't want them restricted to colleges that would give enough merit. We knew it would be much easier to save for college than attempt to figure out how to cash flow $75-80K/year.

Then we let it grown, adjusted/added if needed and made sure to pull it out to "safer" investments as we approached college. We live in the DC area, so HCOL and even spent 4 years in San Fran, which makes DC look LCOL. But when we got married, we chose to buy a house that could be afforded on one income if needed (at about 2.5x the highest income at that point). We didn't purchase a home worth double that despite the fact we could have easily done that. Instead we learned to live on a bit less in anticipation of wanting a SAHP (despite the fact I made over 6 figures when I took leave and we could have easily afforded a nanny). That choice (among others) allowed us to save for college once kids came along. But mainly it was making the choice to forgo other things in life in order to save.

SO while not everyone can do that (if you are truly living paycheck to paycheck, it's hard to save), I'd argue that most people making $200K+ (even in DCUM area) can probably find a way to save enough for a kid to have $50-60K/year and if you are earning that much can afford to take parent loans/cashflow the difference, if attending an 80K school is that important to you.

We are in our "starter home", driving 12 year old cars. Haven't been on a real vacation in almost 4 years. I had a serious medical issue, as did my DH, which tallied about $400K in medical bills. 4 sets of elderly parents that need help from time to time. Then there are taxes, insurance, and all the little fees and costs that eat way at the salary. We aren't "paycheck to paycheck." But we cannot save what you think we can. And it is absurd to think you speak for what everyone else "should be able to do." Screw you.

4 sets of elderly parents? Lol

The OP is the most entitled, rude poster I have seen on DCUM in a long time. I am assuming this is her/him again. I had cancer - F U. I have old parents - screw you. I drive old cars and live in a crappy house - F U. It goes on and on. OP, you don’t make enough or didn’t save enough. Your kid will be fine. Send her to UVA or UMD. You are welcome.

Maybe read your own post before calling other people rude, hon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Long story short: we will not get any financial aid. We make too much for help but don't make enough to go full pay at a private in a way that leaves any wiggle room.

We are just starting this process, and child is an athlete that is in the midst of recruiting (only D3 at this point b/c of NCAA limits- and FTR I don't care if DC plays a sport or not but she does). I'm looking at the finances of the various schools and was shocked to learn that some of the schools she's been talking to give NO MERIT aid. DC has excellent grades, community service, ECs, and athletics.

I get she's one of many like man others . . . and I know at DC there are no athletic scholarships. But, how are people affording places like Wellesley? Their website and what I'm finding says they give ZERO aid on the basis that, essentially, "everyone there is special."

Yes, she can look elsewhere. And she is. But it is so sad to have to shut down a possibility that would, honestly, be such a perfect fit for her in every way. With room and board, etc. the cost per year is nearly $80K!!!! Two years would eat up more than our 529 has in it. Super bummed to have to limit her.

This whole thread is weird, and I gave up in the middle after people just kept yelling at this person for being rightly upset that college costs have gotten so insane. I went to NYU in 1993, which I think was literally the most expensive college in the country. It was about 25,000 a year. My dad was a doctor. Not a specialist. We were upper middle class, and my parents had saved money. I later transferred and that savings had enough money to support me through a graduate degree.

I did the math, and the cost of NYU has gone wayyyyy up proportionally from what it used to be--- and that's all colleges. Yes. If you were paying attention you knew it. We have a 529 plan and my parents did the in state tuition plan for our kid (which now I sort of regret), but it's still a big difference when you're theoretically considering this stuff to being like--wow---we could end up spending 360,000 for one kid's undergraduate education? We are probably top 2% of household wealth, and WE don't want to pay that. Not unless our kid is getting into an Ivy, which she isn't.

That is why merit aid exists. It's not a "subsidy." It's because colleges realize that even wealthy families understand that the price is NOT worth it--not when you consider that your kid might go on to some kind of graduate program.

Thank you for the merit aid website. I was actually looking for a list JUST like that after reading his book.

OP, I get it. I think most of my friends get it. They either stick to the top publics if their kids can get in, go for lower ranking schools with merit, and few bite the bullet and pay full price.

You make 400K+?

where does it state they make "400k+"? It just says college could cost 360K for one kid.

for example, We were making 300K combined when our first was born. One of us became SAHP, so income went to 200K. We started saving for education immediately. So even with the cut in income, we were able to save $10-12k/year. By time oldest was 12,we had enough saved for them at "top tier university". Did same thing for next kid as well. Now Our income increased to ~300K when oldest was 4. So at that point we upped the amount saved per year--that's how we achieved our savings by time they were 12. But we choose to redirect ~$15-30K/year per kid to savings until we had enough saved. We made the choice to save, as we knew they would NOT get any financial aide and didn't want them restricted to colleges that would give enough merit. We knew it would be much easier to save for college than attempt to figure out how to cash flow $75-80K/year.

Then we let it grown, adjusted/added if needed and made sure to pull it out to "safer" investments as we approached college. We live in the DC area, so HCOL and even spent 4 years in San Fran, which makes DC look LCOL. But when we got married, we chose to buy a house that could be afforded on one income if needed (at about 2.5x the highest income at that point). We didn't purchase a home worth double that despite the fact we could have easily done that. Instead we learned to live on a bit less in anticipation of wanting a SAHP (despite the fact I made over 6 figures when I took leave and we could have easily afforded a nanny). That choice (among others) allowed us to save for college once kids came along. But mainly it was making the choice to forgo other things in life in order to save.

SO while not everyone can do that (if you are truly living paycheck to paycheck, it's hard to save), I'd argue that most people making $200K+ (even in DCUM area) can probably find a way to save enough for a kid to have $50-60K/year and if you are earning that much can afford to take parent loans/cashflow the difference, if attending an 80K school is that important to you.

We are in our "starter home", driving 12 year old cars. Haven't been on a real vacation in almost 4 years. I had a serious medical issue, as did my DH, which tallied about $400K in medical bills. 4 sets of elderly parents that need help from time to time. Then there are taxes, insurance, and all the little fees and costs that eat way at the salary. We aren't "paycheck to paycheck." But we cannot save what you think we can. And it is absurd to think you speak for what everyone else "should be able to do." Screw you.

4 sets of elderly parents? Lol

LOL? Ever hear of divorce? Yes, 4 sets. Two in their MID 80s. Two sets in their 70s. Not sure why you think that is laughable but it's rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Long story short: we will not get any financial aid. We make too much for help but don't make enough to go full pay at a private in a way that leaves any wiggle room.

We are just starting this process, and child is an athlete that is in the midst of recruiting (only D3 at this point b/c of NCAA limits- and FTR I don't care if DC plays a sport or not but she does). I'm looking at the finances of the various schools and was shocked to learn that some of the schools she's been talking to give NO MERIT aid. DC has excellent grades, community service, ECs, and athletics.

I get she's one of many like man others . . . and I know at DC there are no athletic scholarships. But, how are people affording places like Wellesley? Their website and what I'm finding says they give ZERO aid on the basis that, essentially, "everyone there is special."

Yes, she can look elsewhere. And she is. But it is so sad to have to shut down a possibility that would, honestly, be such a perfect fit for her in every way. With room and board, etc. the cost per year is nearly $80K!!!! Two years would eat up more than our 529 has in it. Super bummed to have to limit her.

This whole thread is weird, and I gave up in the middle after people just kept yelling at this person for being rightly upset that college costs have gotten so insane. I went to NYU in 1993, which I think was literally the most expensive college in the country. It was about 25,000 a year. My dad was a doctor. Not a specialist. We were upper middle class, and my parents had saved money. I later transferred and that savings had enough money to support me through a graduate degree.

I did the math, and the cost of NYU has gone wayyyyy up proportionally from what it used to be--- and that's all colleges. Yes. If you were paying attention you knew it. We have a 529 plan and my parents did the in state tuition plan for our kid (which now I sort of regret), but it's still a big difference when you're theoretically considering this stuff to being like--wow---we could end up spending 360,000 for one kid's undergraduate education? We are probably top 2% of household wealth, and WE don't want to pay that. Not unless our kid is getting into an Ivy, which she isn't.

That is why merit aid exists. It's not a "subsidy." It's because colleges realize that even wealthy families understand that the price is NOT worth it--not when you consider that your kid might go on to some kind of graduate program.

Thank you for the merit aid website. I was actually looking for a list JUST like that after reading his book.

OP, I get it. I think most of my friends get it. They either stick to the top publics if their kids can get in, go for lower ranking schools with merit, and few bite the bullet and pay full price.

You make 400K+?

where does it state they make "400k+"? It just says college could cost 360K for one kid.

for example, We were making 300K combined when our first was born. One of us became SAHP, so income went to 200K. We started saving for education immediately. So even with the cut in income, we were able to save $10-12k/year. By time oldest was 12,we had enough saved for them at "top tier university". Did same thing for next kid as well. Now Our income increased to ~300K when oldest was 4. So at that point we upped the amount saved per year--that's how we achieved our savings by time they were 12. But we choose to redirect ~$15-30K/year per kid to savings until we had enough saved. We made the choice to save, as we knew they would NOT get any financial aide and didn't want them restricted to colleges that would give enough merit. We knew it would be much easier to save for college than attempt to figure out how to cash flow $75-80K/year.

Then we let it grown, adjusted/added if needed and made sure to pull it out to "safer" investments as we approached college. We live in the DC area, so HCOL and even spent 4 years in San Fran, which makes DC look LCOL. But when we got married, we chose to buy a house that could be afforded on one income if needed (at about 2.5x the highest income at that point). We didn't purchase a home worth double that despite the fact we could have easily done that. Instead we learned to live on a bit less in anticipation of wanting a SAHP (despite the fact I made over 6 figures when I took leave and we could have easily afforded a nanny). That choice (among others) allowed us to save for college once kids came along. But mainly it was making the choice to forgo other things in life in order to save.

SO while not everyone can do that (if you are truly living paycheck to paycheck, it's hard to save), I'd argue that most people making $200K+ (even in DCUM area) can probably find a way to save enough for a kid to have $50-60K/year and if you are earning that much can afford to take parent loans/cashflow the difference, if attending an 80K school is that important to you.

We are in our "starter home", driving 12 year old cars. Haven't been on a real vacation in almost 4 years. I had a serious medical issue, as did my DH, which tallied about $400K in medical bills. 4 sets of elderly parents that need help from time to time. Then there are taxes, insurance, and all the little fees and costs that eat way at the salary. We aren't "paycheck to paycheck." But we cannot save what you think we can. And it is absurd to think you speak for what everyone else "should be able to do." Screw you.

4 sets of elderly parents? Lol

The OP is the most entitled, rude poster I have seen on DCUM in a long time. I am assuming this is her/him again. I had cancer - F U. I have old parents - screw you. I drive old cars and live in a crappy house - F U. It goes on and on. OP, you don’t make enough or didn’t save enough. Your kid will be fine. Send her to UVA or UMD. You are welcome.

Maybe read your own post before calling other people rude, hon.

Np, what’s wrong with pp’s post? Sounds fine and accurate to me. Are you op?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Long story short: we will not get any financial aid. We make too much for help but don't make enough to go full pay at a private in a way that leaves any wiggle room.

We are just starting this process, and child is an athlete that is in the midst of recruiting (only D3 at this point b/c of NCAA limits- and FTR I don't care if DC plays a sport or not but she does). I'm looking at the finances of the various schools and was shocked to learn that some of the schools she's been talking to give NO MERIT aid. DC has excellent grades, community service, ECs, and athletics.

I get she's one of many like man others . . . and I know at DC there are no athletic scholarships. But, how are people affording places like Wellesley? Their website and what I'm finding says they give ZERO aid on the basis that, essentially, "everyone there is special."

Yes, she can look elsewhere. And she is. But it is so sad to have to shut down a possibility that would, honestly, be such a perfect fit for her in every way. With room and board, etc. the cost per year is nearly $80K!!!! Two years would eat up more than our 529 has in it. Super bummed to have to limit her.

This whole thread is weird, and I gave up in the middle after people just kept yelling at this person for being rightly upset that college costs have gotten so insane. I went to NYU in 1993, which I think was literally the most expensive college in the country. It was about 25,000 a year. My dad was a doctor. Not a specialist. We were upper middle class, and my parents had saved money. I later transferred and that savings had enough money to support me through a graduate degree.

I did the math, and the cost of NYU has gone wayyyyy up proportionally from what it used to be--- and that's all colleges. Yes. If you were paying attention you knew it. We have a 529 plan and my parents did the in state tuition plan for our kid (which now I sort of regret), but it's still a big difference when you're theoretically considering this stuff to being like--wow---we could end up spending 360,000 for one kid's undergraduate education? We are probably top 2% of household wealth, and WE don't want to pay that. Not unless our kid is getting into an Ivy, which she isn't.

That is why merit aid exists. It's not a "subsidy." It's because colleges realize that even wealthy families understand that the price is NOT worth it--not when you consider that your kid might go on to some kind of graduate program.

Thank you for the merit aid website. I was actually looking for a list JUST like that after reading his book.

OP, I get it. I think most of my friends get it. They either stick to the top publics if their kids can get in, go for lower ranking schools with merit, and few bite the bullet and pay full price.

You make 400K+?

where does it state they make "400k+"? It just says college could cost 360K for one kid.

for example, We were making 300K combined when our first was born. One of us became SAHP, so income went to 200K. We started saving for education immediately. So even with the cut in income, we were able to save $10-12k/year. By time oldest was 12,we had enough saved for them at "top tier university". Did same thing for next kid as well. Now Our income increased to ~300K when oldest was 4. So at that point we upped the amount saved per year--that's how we achieved our savings by time they were 12. But we choose to redirect ~$15-30K/year per kid to savings until we had enough saved. We made the choice to save, as we knew they would NOT get any financial aide and didn't want them restricted to colleges that would give enough merit. We knew it would be much easier to save for college than attempt to figure out how to cash flow $75-80K/year.

Then we let it grown, adjusted/added if needed and made sure to pull it out to "safer" investments as we approached college. We live in the DC area, so HCOL and even spent 4 years in San Fran, which makes DC look LCOL. But when we got married, we chose to buy a house that could be afforded on one income if needed (at about 2.5x the highest income at that point). We didn't purchase a home worth double that despite the fact we could have easily done that. Instead we learned to live on a bit less in anticipation of wanting a SAHP (despite the fact I made over 6 figures when I took leave and we could have easily afforded a nanny). That choice (among others) allowed us to save for college once kids came along. But mainly it was making the choice to forgo other things in life in order to save.

SO while not everyone can do that (if you are truly living paycheck to paycheck, it's hard to save), I'd argue that most people making $200K+ (even in DCUM area) can probably find a way to save enough for a kid to have $50-60K/year and if you are earning that much can afford to take parent loans/cashflow the difference, if attending an 80K school is that important to you.

We are in our "starter home", driving 12 year old cars. Haven't been on a real vacation in almost 4 years. I had a serious medical issue, as did my DH, which tallied about $400K in medical bills. 4 sets of elderly parents that need help from time to time. Then there are taxes, insurance, and all the little fees and costs that eat way at the salary. We aren't "paycheck to paycheck." But we cannot save what you think we can. And it is absurd to think you speak for what everyone else "should be able to do." Screw you.

4 sets of elderly parents? Lol

LOL? Ever hear of divorce? Yes, 4 sets. Two in their MID 80s. Two sets in their 70s. Not sure why you think that is laughable but it's rude.

Divorce? Are you including your ex’s parents? 4 sets means 8 parents… explain please

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Long story short: we will not get any financial aid. We make too much for help but don't make enough to go full pay at a private in a way that leaves any wiggle room.

We are just starting this process, and child is an athlete that is in the midst of recruiting (only D3 at this point b/c of NCAA limits- and FTR I don't care if DC plays a sport or not but she does). I'm looking at the finances of the various schools and was shocked to learn that some of the schools she's been talking to give NO MERIT aid. DC has excellent grades, community service, ECs, and athletics.

I get she's one of many like man others . . . and I know at DC there are no athletic scholarships. But, how are people affording places like Wellesley? Their website and what I'm finding says they give ZERO aid on the basis that, essentially, "everyone there is special."

Yes, she can look elsewhere. And she is. But it is so sad to have to shut down a possibility that would, honestly, be such a perfect fit for her in every way. With room and board, etc. the cost per year is nearly $80K!!!! Two years would eat up more than our 529 has in it. Super bummed to have to limit her.

This whole thread is weird, and I gave up in the middle after people just kept yelling at this person for being rightly upset that college costs have gotten so insane. I went to NYU in 1993, which I think was literally the most expensive college in the country. It was about 25,000 a year. My dad was a doctor. Not a specialist. We were upper middle class, and my parents had saved money. I later transferred and that savings had enough money to support me through a graduate degree.

I did the math, and the cost of NYU has gone wayyyyy up proportionally from what it used to be--- and that's all colleges. Yes. If you were paying attention you knew it. We have a 529 plan and my parents did the in state tuition plan for our kid (which now I sort of regret), but it's still a big difference when you're theoretically considering this stuff to being like--wow---we could end up spending 360,000 for one kid's undergraduate education? We are probably top 2% of household wealth, and WE don't want to pay that. Not unless our kid is getting into an Ivy, which she isn't.

That is why merit aid exists. It's not a "subsidy." It's because colleges realize that even wealthy families understand that the price is NOT worth it--not when you consider that your kid might go on to some kind of graduate program.

Thank you for the merit aid website. I was actually looking for a list JUST like that after reading his book.

OP, I get it. I think most of my friends get it. They either stick to the top publics if their kids can get in, go for lower ranking schools with merit, and few bite the bullet and pay full price.

You make 400K+?

where does it state they make "400k+"? It just says college could cost 360K for one kid.

for example, We were making 300K combined when our first was born. One of us became SAHP, so income went to 200K. We started saving for education immediately. So even with the cut in income, we were able to save $10-12k/year. By time oldest was 12,we had enough saved for them at "top tier university". Did same thing for next kid as well. Now Our income increased to ~300K when oldest was 4. So at that point we upped the amount saved per year--that's how we achieved our savings by time they were 12. But we choose to redirect ~$15-30K/year per kid to savings until we had enough saved. We made the choice to save, as we knew they would NOT get any financial aide and didn't want them restricted to colleges that would give enough merit. We knew it would be much easier to save for college than attempt to figure out how to cash flow $75-80K/year.

Then we let it grown, adjusted/added if needed and made sure to pull it out to "safer" investments as we approached college. We live in the DC area, so HCOL and even spent 4 years in San Fran, which makes DC look LCOL. But when we got married, we chose to buy a house that could be afforded on one income if needed (at about 2.5x the highest income at that point). We didn't purchase a home worth double that despite the fact we could have easily done that. Instead we learned to live on a bit less in anticipation of wanting a SAHP (despite the fact I made over 6 figures when I took leave and we could have easily afforded a nanny). That choice (among others) allowed us to save for college once kids came along. But mainly it was making the choice to forgo other things in life in order to save.

SO while not everyone can do that (if you are truly living paycheck to paycheck, it's hard to save), I'd argue that most people making $200K+ (even in DCUM area) can probably find a way to save enough for a kid to have $50-60K/year and if you are earning that much can afford to take parent loans/cashflow the difference, if attending an 80K school is that important to you.

We are in our "starter home", driving 12 year old cars. Haven't been on a real vacation in almost 4 years. I had a serious medical issue, as did my DH, which tallied about $400K in medical bills. 4 sets of elderly parents that need help from time to time. Then there are taxes, insurance, and all the little fees and costs that eat way at the salary. We aren't "paycheck to paycheck." But we cannot save what you think we can. And it is absurd to think you speak for what everyone else "should be able to do." Screw you.

I never said "everyone else should be able to do so". I get that some have other financial issues. I grew up in a LMC family---I ate free lunch for several years at school when my parents were laid off and job searching, I stood in line for free food from local food banks back in the 70s/80s. So I get that. However, I was not eligible for full FA when attending college. So I had to choose what was AFFORDABLE for my family. I did not demand that I go to Harvard or Yale without paying the price. I choose a school that we could afford without me going into major debt (I took the student loans each year, my parents could not afford to take parent loans or help much at all). So I looked for merit and went that route. Got into more elite schools (3 of them) but still couldn't' afford it, so I didn't attend.

But I still will hold that many many could make changes and afford more but they CHOOSE not to. 50%+ of people I know drive new cars every 4-5 years, get Starbucks (or the equivalent) multiple times per day for themselves and all 3 kids, eat out constantly, go on vacation all the time, etc. Yet as our kids hit College age, many complain they can't afford more than in-state because they have not saved. For them, it was truly a choice, and they choose to live a fancy life when they could have saved and still had a better life than 80% of people.


Basically, everyone can find somewhere that's affordable---if 80K/year isn't for you, then search for merit elsewhere.
There are still many many many great options for college---going into debt is silly for college

No one is "demanding" anything. And I agree with the posters who say that people should not -have- to give those options up. There is a big benefit to going to some of those schools and you know it. But, it's somehow acceptable to dump on UMC people who aren't wealthy in the sense most of you think they are. After working their butts off (I also come from poor beginnings) and then they're punished for it.

The rest of your post is just conjecture and silly. Eating out and Starbucks is not a "fancy life."

You definitely are demanding something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Long story short: we will not get any financial aid. We make too much for help but don't make enough to go full pay at a private in a way that leaves any wiggle room.

We are just starting this process, and child is an athlete that is in the midst of recruiting (only D3 at this point b/c of NCAA limits- and FTR I don't care if DC plays a sport or not but she does). I'm looking at the finances of the various schools and was shocked to learn that some of the schools she's been talking to give NO MERIT aid. DC has excellent grades, community service, ECs, and athletics.

I get she's one of many like man others . . . and I know at DC there are no athletic scholarships. But, how are people affording places like Wellesley? Their website and what I'm finding says they give ZERO aid on the basis that, essentially, "everyone there is special."

Yes, she can look elsewhere. And she is. But it is so sad to have to shut down a possibility that would, honestly, be such a perfect fit for her in every way. With room and board, etc. the cost per year is nearly $80K!!!! Two years would eat up more than our 529 has in it. Super bummed to have to limit her.

This whole thread is weird, and I gave up in the middle after people just kept yelling at this person for being rightly upset that college costs have gotten so insane. I went to NYU in 1993, which I think was literally the most expensive college in the country. It was about 25,000 a year. My dad was a doctor. Not a specialist. We were upper middle class, and my parents had saved money. I later transferred and that savings had enough money to support me through a graduate degree.

I did the math, and the cost of NYU has gone wayyyyy up proportionally from what it used to be--- and that's all colleges. Yes. If you were paying attention you knew it. We have a 529 plan and my parents did the in state tuition plan for our kid (which now I sort of regret), but it's still a big difference when you're theoretically considering this stuff to being like--wow---we could end up spending 360,000 for one kid's undergraduate education? We are probably top 2% of household wealth, and WE don't want to pay that. Not unless our kid is getting into an Ivy, which she isn't.

That is why merit aid exists. It's not a "subsidy." It's because colleges realize that even wealthy families understand that the price is NOT worth it--not when you consider that your kid might go on to some kind of graduate program.

Thank you for the merit aid website. I was actually looking for a list JUST like that after reading his book.

OP, I get it. I think most of my friends get it. They either stick to the top publics if their kids can get in, go for lower ranking schools with merit, and few bite the bullet and pay full price.

You make 400K+?

where does it state they make "400k+"? It just says college could cost 360K for one kid.

for example, We were making 300K combined when our first was born. One of us became SAHP, so income went to 200K. We started saving for education immediately. So even with the cut in income, we were able to save $10-12k/year. By time oldest was 12,we had enough saved for them at "top tier university". Did same thing for next kid as well. Now Our income increased to ~300K when oldest was 4. So at that point we upped the amount saved per year--that's how we achieved our savings by time they were 12. But we choose to redirect ~$15-30K/year per kid to savings until we had enough saved. We made the choice to save, as we knew they would NOT get any financial aide and didn't want them restricted to colleges that would give enough merit. We knew it would be much easier to save for college than attempt to figure out how to cash flow $75-80K/year.

Then we let it grown, adjusted/added if needed and made sure to pull it out to "safer" investments as we approached college. We live in the DC area, so HCOL and even spent 4 years in San Fran, which makes DC look LCOL. But when we got married, we chose to buy a house that could be afforded on one income if needed (at about 2.5x the highest income at that point). We didn't purchase a home worth double that despite the fact we could have easily done that. Instead we learned to live on a bit less in anticipation of wanting a SAHP (despite the fact I made over 6 figures when I took leave and we could have easily afforded a nanny). That choice (among others) allowed us to save for college once kids came along. But mainly it was making the choice to forgo other things in life in order to save.

SO while not everyone can do that (if you are truly living paycheck to paycheck, it's hard to save), I'd argue that most people making $200K+ (even in DCUM area) can probably find a way to save enough for a kid to have $50-60K/year and if you are earning that much can afford to take parent loans/cashflow the difference, if attending an 80K school is that important to you.

We are in our "starter home", driving 12 year old cars. Haven't been on a real vacation in almost 4 years. I had a serious medical issue, as did my DH, which tallied about $400K in medical bills. 4 sets of elderly parents that need help from time to time. Then there are taxes, insurance, and all the little fees and costs that eat way at the salary. We aren't "paycheck to paycheck." But we cannot save what you think we can. And it is absurd to think you speak for what everyone else "should be able to do." Screw you.

4 sets of elderly parents? Lol

The OP is the most entitled, rude poster I have seen on DCUM in a long time. I am assuming this is her/him again. I had cancer - F U. I have old parents - screw you. I drive old cars and live in a crappy house - F U. It goes on and on. OP, you don’t make enough or didn’t save enough. Your kid will be fine. Send her to UVA or UMD. You are welcome.

Maybe read your own post before calling other people rude, hon.

Yes, op is very recognizable and consistently rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Long story short: we will not get any financial aid. We make too much for help but don't make enough to go full pay at a private in a way that leaves any wiggle room.

We are just starting this process, and child is an athlete that is in the midst of recruiting (only D3 at this point b/c of NCAA limits- and FTR I don't care if DC plays a sport or not but she does). I'm looking at the finances of the various schools and was shocked to learn that some of the schools she's been talking to give NO MERIT aid. DC has excellent grades, community service, ECs, and athletics.

I get she's one of many like man others . . . and I know at DC there are no athletic scholarships. But, how are people affording places like Wellesley? Their website and what I'm finding says they give ZERO aid on the basis that, essentially, "everyone there is special."

Yes, she can look elsewhere. And she is. But it is so sad to have to shut down a possibility that would, honestly, be such a perfect fit for her in every way. With room and board, etc. the cost per year is nearly $80K!!!! Two years would eat up more than our 529 has in it. Super bummed to have to limit her.

This whole thread is weird, and I gave up in the middle after people just kept yelling at this person for being rightly upset that college costs have gotten so insane. I went to NYU in 1993, which I think was literally the most expensive college in the country. It was about 25,000 a year. My dad was a doctor. Not a specialist. We were upper middle class, and my parents had saved money. I later transferred and that savings had enough money to support me through a graduate degree.

I did the math, and the cost of NYU has gone wayyyyy up proportionally from what it used to be--- and that's all colleges. Yes. If you were paying attention you knew it. We have a 529 plan and my parents did the in state tuition plan for our kid (which now I sort of regret), but it's still a big difference when you're theoretically considering this stuff to being like--wow---we could end up spending 360,000 for one kid's undergraduate education? We are probably top 2% of household wealth, and WE don't want to pay that. Not unless our kid is getting into an Ivy, which she isn't.

That is why merit aid exists. It's not a "subsidy." It's because colleges realize that even wealthy families understand that the price is NOT worth it--not when you consider that your kid might go on to some kind of graduate program.

Thank you for the merit aid website. I was actually looking for a list JUST like that after reading his book.

OP, I get it. I think most of my friends get it. They either stick to the top publics if their kids can get in, go for lower ranking schools with merit, and few bite the bullet and pay full price.

You make 400K+?

where does it state they make "400k+"? It just says college could cost 360K for one kid.

for example, We were making 300K combined when our first was born. One of us became SAHP, so income went to 200K. We started saving for education immediately. So even with the cut in income, we were able to save $10-12k/year. By time oldest was 12,we had enough saved for them at "top tier university". Did same thing for next kid as well. Now Our income increased to ~300K when oldest was 4. So at that point we upped the amount saved per year--that's how we achieved our savings by time they were 12. But we choose to redirect ~$15-30K/year per kid to savings until we had enough saved. We made the choice to save, as we knew they would NOT get any financial aide and didn't want them restricted to colleges that would give enough merit. We knew it would be much easier to save for college than attempt to figure out how to cash flow $75-80K/year.

Then we let it grown, adjusted/added if needed and made sure to pull it out to "safer" investments as we approached college. We live in the DC area, so HCOL and even spent 4 years in San Fran, which makes DC look LCOL. But when we got married, we chose to buy a house that could be afforded on one income if needed (at about 2.5x the highest income at that point). We didn't purchase a home worth double that despite the fact we could have easily done that. Instead we learned to live on a bit less in anticipation of wanting a SAHP (despite the fact I made over 6 figures when I took leave and we could have easily afforded a nanny). That choice (among others) allowed us to save for college once kids came along. But mainly it was making the choice to forgo other things in life in order to save.

SO while not everyone can do that (if you are truly living paycheck to paycheck, it's hard to save), I'd argue that most people making $200K+ (even in DCUM area) can probably find a way to save enough for a kid to have $50-60K/year and if you are earning that much can afford to take parent loans/cashflow the difference, if attending an 80K school is that important to you.

We are in our "starter home", driving 12 year old cars. Haven't been on a real vacation in almost 4 years. I had a serious medical issue, as did my DH, which tallied about $400K in medical bills. 4 sets of elderly parents that need help from time to time. Then there are taxes, insurance, and all the little fees and costs that eat way at the salary. We aren't "paycheck to paycheck." But we cannot save what you think we can. And it is absurd to think you speak for what everyone else "should be able to do." Screw you.

4 sets of elderly parents? Lol

The OP is the most entitled, rude poster I have seen on DCUM in a long time. I am assuming this is her/him again. I had cancer - F U. I have old parents - screw you. I drive old cars and live in a crappy house - F U. It goes on and on. OP, you don’t make enough or didn’t save enough. Your kid will be fine. Send her to UVA or UMD. You are welcome.

Maybe read your own post before calling other people rude, hon.

No. Are you the forum police? Did tgst make you feel better trying to take someone down? I think you are the one who needs to look in the mirror. You posts adds nothing to tge thread and I think PP had a good point

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Long story short: we will not get any financial aid. We make too much for help but don't make enough to go full pay at a private in a way that leaves any wiggle room.

We are just starting this process, and child is an athlete that is in the midst of recruiting (only D3 at this point b/c of NCAA limits- and FTR I don't care if DC plays a sport or not but she does). I'm looking at the finances of the various schools and was shocked to learn that some of the schools she's been talking to give NO MERIT aid. DC has excellent grades, community service, ECs, and athletics.

I get she's one of many like man others . . . and I know at DC there are no athletic scholarships. But, how are people affording places like Wellesley? Their website and what I'm finding says they give ZERO aid on the basis that, essentially, "everyone there is special."

Yes, she can look elsewhere. And she is. But it is so sad to have to shut down a possibility that would, honestly, be such a perfect fit for her in every way. With room and board, etc. the cost per year is nearly $80K!!!! Two years would eat up more than our 529 has in it. Super bummed to have to limit her.

This whole thread is weird, and I gave up in the middle after people just kept yelling at this person for being rightly upset that college costs have gotten so insane. I went to NYU in 1993, which I think was literally the most expensive college in the country. It was about 25,000 a year. My dad was a doctor. Not a specialist. We were upper middle class, and my parents had saved money. I later transferred and that savings had enough money to support me through a graduate degree.

I did the math, and the cost of NYU has gone wayyyyy up proportionally from what it used to be--- and that's all colleges. Yes. If you were paying attention you knew it. We have a 529 plan and my parents did the in state tuition plan for our kid (which now I sort of regret), but it's still a big difference when you're theoretically considering this stuff to being like--wow---we could end up spending 360,000 for one kid's undergraduate education? We are probably top 2% of household wealth, and WE don't want to pay that. Not unless our kid is getting into an Ivy, which she isn't.

That is why merit aid exists. It's not a "subsidy." It's because colleges realize that even wealthy families understand that the price is NOT worth it--not when you consider that your kid might go on to some kind of graduate program.

Thank you for the merit aid website. I was actually looking for a list JUST like that after reading his book.

OP, I get it. I think most of my friends get it. They either stick to the top publics if their kids can get in, go for lower ranking schools with merit, and few bite the bullet and pay full price.

You make 400K+?

where does it state they make "400k+"? It just says college could cost 360K for one kid.

for example, We were making 300K combined when our first was born. One of us became SAHP, so income went to 200K. We started saving for education immediately. So even with the cut in income, we were able to save $10-12k/year. By time oldest was 12,we had enough saved for them at "top tier university". Did same thing for next kid as well. Now Our income increased to ~300K when oldest was 4. So at that point we upped the amount saved per year--that's how we achieved our savings by time they were 12. But we choose to redirect ~$15-30K/year per kid to savings until we had enough saved. We made the choice to save, as we knew they would NOT get any financial aide and didn't want them restricted to colleges that would give enough merit. We knew it would be much easier to save for college than attempt to figure out how to cash flow $75-80K/year.

Then we let it grown, adjusted/added if needed and made sure to pull it out to "safer" investments as we approached college. We live in the DC area, so HCOL and even spent 4 years in San Fran, which makes DC look LCOL. But when we got married, we chose to buy a house that could be afforded on one income if needed (at about 2.5x the highest income at that point). We didn't purchase a home worth double that despite the fact we could have easily done that. Instead we learned to live on a bit less in anticipation of wanting a SAHP (despite the fact I made over 6 figures when I took leave and we could have easily afforded a nanny). That choice (among others) allowed us to save for college once kids came along. But mainly it was making the choice to forgo other things in life in order to save.

SO while not everyone can do that (if you are truly living paycheck to paycheck, it's hard to save), I'd argue that most people making $200K+ (even in DCUM area) can probably find a way to save enough for a kid to have $50-60K/year and if you are earning that much can afford to take parent loans/cashflow the difference, if attending an 80K school is that important to you.

We are in our "starter home", driving 12 year old cars. Haven't been on a real vacation in almost 4 years. I had a serious medical issue, as did my DH, which tallied about $400K in medical bills. 4 sets of elderly parents that need help from time to time. Then there are taxes, insurance, and all the little fees and costs that eat way at the salary. We aren't "paycheck to paycheck." But we cannot save what you think we can. And it is absurd to think you speak for what everyone else "should be able to do." Screw you.

4 sets of elderly parents? Lol

LOL? Ever hear of divorce? Yes, 4 sets. Two in their MID 80s. Two sets in their 70s. Not sure why you think that is laughable but it's rude.

I don’t understand why four sets of grandparents warrants a LOL. We have no divorce but my two sets of parents are alive (grandparents to know DS) aaa are husband’s. That equals four sets or 8 people that we are taking care of. Not something to make fun of!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Long story short: we will not get any financial aid. We make too much for help but don't make enough to go full pay at a private in a way that leaves any wiggle room.

We are just starting this process, and child is an athlete that is in the midst of recruiting (only D3 at this point b/c of NCAA limits- and FTR I don't care if DC plays a sport or not but she does). I'm looking at the finances of the various schools and was shocked to learn that some of the schools she's been talking to give NO MERIT aid. DC has excellent grades, community service, ECs, and athletics.

I get she's one of many like man others . . . and I know at DC there are no athletic scholarships. But, how are people affording places like Wellesley? Their website and what I'm finding says they give ZERO aid on the basis that, essentially, "everyone there is special."

Yes, she can look elsewhere. And she is. But it is so sad to have to shut down a possibility that would, honestly, be such a perfect fit for her in every way. With room and board, etc. the cost per year is nearly $80K!!!! Two years would eat up more than our 529 has in it. Super bummed to have to limit her.

This whole thread is weird, and I gave up in the middle after people just kept yelling at this person for being rightly upset that college costs have gotten so insane. I went to NYU in 1993, which I think was literally the most expensive college in the country. It was about 25,000 a year. My dad was a doctor. Not a specialist. We were upper middle class, and my parents had saved money. I later transferred and that savings had enough money to support me through a graduate degree.

I did the math, and the cost of NYU has gone wayyyyy up proportionally from what it used to be--- and that's all colleges. Yes. If you were paying attention you knew it. We have a 529 plan and my parents did the in state tuition plan for our kid (which now I sort of regret), but it's still a big difference when you're theoretically considering this stuff to being like--wow---we could end up spending 360,000 for one kid's undergraduate education? We are probably top 2% of household wealth, and WE don't want to pay that. Not unless our kid is getting into an Ivy, which she isn't.

That is why merit aid exists. It's not a "subsidy." It's because colleges realize that even wealthy families understand that the price is NOT worth it--not when you consider that your kid might go on to some kind of graduate program.

Thank you for the merit aid website. I was actually looking for a list JUST like that after reading his book.

OP, I get it. I think most of my friends get it. They either stick to the top publics if their kids can get in, go for lower ranking schools with merit, and few bite the bullet and pay full price.

You make 400K+?

where does it state they make "400k+"? It just says college could cost 360K for one kid.

for example, We were making 300K combined when our first was born. One of us became SAHP, so income went to 200K. We started saving for education immediately. So even with the cut in income, we were able to save $10-12k/year. By time oldest was 12,we had enough saved for them at "top tier university". Did same thing for next kid as well. Now Our income increased to ~300K when oldest was 4. So at that point we upped the amount saved per year--that's how we achieved our savings by time they were 12. But we choose to redirect ~$15-30K/year per kid to savings until we had enough saved. We made the choice to save, as we knew they would NOT get any financial aide and didn't want them restricted to colleges that would give enough merit. We knew it would be much easier to save for college than attempt to figure out how to cash flow $75-80K/year.

Then we let it grown, adjusted/added if needed and made sure to pull it out to "safer" investments as we approached college. We live in the DC area, so HCOL and even spent 4 years in San Fran, which makes DC look LCOL. But when we got married, we chose to buy a house that could be afforded on one income if needed (at about 2.5x the highest income at that point). We didn't purchase a home worth double that despite the fact we could have easily done that. Instead we learned to live on a bit less in anticipation of wanting a SAHP (despite the fact I made over 6 figures when I took leave and we could have easily afforded a nanny). That choice (among others) allowed us to save for college once kids came along. But mainly it was making the choice to forgo other things in life in order to save.

SO while not everyone can do that (if you are truly living paycheck to paycheck, it's hard to save), I'd argue that most people making $200K+ (even in DCUM area) can probably find a way to save enough for a kid to have $50-60K/year and if you are earning that much can afford to take parent loans/cashflow the difference, if attending an 80K school is that important to you.

We are in our "starter home", driving 12 year old cars. Haven't been on a real vacation in almost 4 years. I had a serious medical issue, as did my DH, which tallied about $400K in medical bills. 4 sets of elderly parents that need help from time to time. Then there are taxes, insurance, and all the little fees and costs that eat way at the salary. We aren't "paycheck to paycheck." But we cannot save what you think we can. And it is absurd to think you speak for what everyone else "should be able to do." Screw you.

I never said "everyone else should be able to do so". I get that some have other financial issues. I grew up in a LMC family---I ate free lunch for several years at school when my parents were laid off and job searching, I stood in line for free food from local food banks back in the 70s/80s. So I get that. However, I was not eligible for full FA when attending college. So I had to choose what was AFFORDABLE for my family. I did not demand that I go to Harvard or Yale without paying the price. I choose a school that we could afford without me going into major debt (I took the student loans each year, my parents could not afford to take parent loans or help much at all). So I looked for merit and went that route. Got into more elite schools (3 of them) but still couldn't' afford it, so I didn't attend.

But I still will hold that many many could make changes and afford more but they CHOOSE not to. 50%+ of people I know drive new cars every 4-5 years, get Starbucks (or the equivalent) multiple times per day for themselves and all 3 kids, eat out constantly, go on vacation all the time, etc. Yet as our kids hit College age, many complain they can't afford more than in-state because they have not saved. For them, it was truly a choice, and they choose to live a fancy life when they could have saved and still had a better life than 80% of people.


Basically, everyone can find somewhere that's affordable---if 80K/year isn't for you, then search for merit elsewhere.
There are still many many many great options for college---going into debt is silly for college

No one is "demanding" anything. And I agree with the posters who say that people should not -have- to give those options up. There is a big benefit to going to some of those schools and you know it. But, it's somehow acceptable to dump on UMC people who aren't wealthy in the sense most of you think they are. After working their butts off (I also come from poor beginnings) and then they're punished for it.

The rest of your post is just conjecture and silly. Eating out and Starbucks is not a "fancy life."

I'm not "demanding" your car I just don't think I should -have- to give up the option of taking off in it. There is a big benefit to me having your car and we all know it. But somehow it's acceptable to dump on people without a car just because I can't afford to buy it from you.