Is it ethical to outsource pregnancy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ever since the Industrial Revolution mankind has been moving away from the use of physical labor and moving towards the use of human intelligence for income. The more we make advances in education, the less people have to rely on hazardous careers like mining or prostitution or surrogacy.

And the unfortunate result of that is that it is very difficult to make a good living in 2023 without resorting to mining, prostitution or surrogacy if you’re not relatively wealthy, intelligent and highly-educated.

Yes, these are the only three options. Never mind the variety of blue collar jobs that enable many people throughout this country to live good lives and provide for their families.

How the heck do you define intelligence?

Good blue-collar jobs have been in decline since the 1980s. I’m from the rust belt, and most adults in the city I grew up in are barely getting by.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ever since the Industrial Revolution mankind has been moving away from the use of physical labor and moving towards the use of human intelligence for income. The more we make advances in education, the less people have to rely on hazardous careers like mining or prostitution or surrogacy.

And the unfortunate result of that is that it is very difficult to make a good living in 2023 without resorting to mining, prostitution or surrogacy if you’re not relatively wealthy, intelligent and highly-educated.

Yes, these are the only three options. Never mind the variety of blue collar jobs that enable many people throughout this country to live good lives and provide for their families.

How the heck do you define intelligence?

Most blue-collar jobs are pretty dangerous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are people out there who really love being pregnant and don’t find it all physically painful or unpleasant. Generally they are between the ages of 20 and 30.

My close friend from college is like that. Her body, her choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are people out there who really love being pregnant and don’t find it all physically painful or unpleasant. Generally they are between the ages of 20 and 30.

My close friend from college is like that. Her body, her choice.

+1. I have a HS friend on her third surrogacy journey with intended parents who couldn't carry. She seems to love it? Pregnancy and birth is basically a non-issue for her (5 hr no-tear labors, up running around within hours). I don't relate! Pregnancy and birth was hell. But if it's easy peasy super breezy and there's no coercion? Eh. My friend isn't super rich but they probably make about 400k a year so it's not a money thing either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are people out there who really love being pregnant and don’t find it all physically painful or unpleasant. Generally they are between the ages of 20 and 30.

My close friend from college is like that. Her body, her choice.

But are 20-30 year olds in the best position to evaluate risk? Science says no. Every pregnancy comes with risk and just because past pregnancies have been fine doesn’t mean future pregnancies will be. I had life threatening complications develop the day before my due date with my first. I was 31, had no prior medical issues, got pregnant with a BMI of 18 and gained 35 pounds…it was a text book great pregnancy until my liver and kidneys started failing at 39 weeks 6 days. I’m 5 weeks away from giving birth to my third and it may happen again even though it didn’t happen with my second. It’s very high risk even if you are young and in great shape.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she paid well? Not just for her physical contribution but fur what you know, as someone who has given birth, can be a serious emotional upheaval as well? Like paid really, really, really well?

Is she doing this truly consensually with no weird power imbalances? Or is she a desperate woman in a desperate situation. You can (and should) heavily vet surrogacy agencies to find out how they recruit.

If the answer to the above is yes, and you have a *perfect* surrogacy contract, I think it can be done ethically. The contract has a lot of details you need to u sweat and though. I wouldn’t do it unless/until you have walked through and u d’état and every provision and why it is there.

What do you mean by “she?”

Men can be pregnant and deliver babies, as can other genders.

[Anonymous]

I have not read this whole thread so maybe this has already been said, but I imagine without exceptional compensation, you would be the last on the list of potential candidates for the surrogate. I considered surrogacy for a while, but if I was presented with some women that could not carry for medical reasons, and maybe a gay man/couple, and a lady who doesn't want to be gain some weight again, you'd be the first cut. Most people pursue surrogacy as 2-fold, they really want to help someone that cannot have a child and the extra money will be a big help with their own family/life. Even for people that love being pregnant, unless their circumstances are dire and the money is really needed, most people would want help someone reach a dream otherwise unattainable, so everyone feels fulfilled.

[Anonymous]

I know one woman who was a surrogate and my daughter’s best friends were born via surrogate. The woman I know has always seemed really happy about that choice. The one who carried my daughter’s friends has delivered 5 children (two sets of twins and a singleton) for other families, is currently pregnant for a 4th family. Before that she had two kids of her own. She is in their lives (the twins we know have met her, have seen pictures of her pregnant with them, they exchange Christmas cards) and says it’s a nice way to have stayed home with her kids while also earning money (or so I hear via the mom).

The mom in this case was unable to carry the pregnancy, but frankly I don’t think it’s anyone’s business why someone uses a surrogate provided there’s no coercion.

My first pregnancy was delightful and I used to tease that if I were younger I’d want to be a surrogate. Then the birth was badly mishandled and I was super stressed about being pregnant again and could fully understand why people would turn to surrogates. (Luckily the birth of my second was handled really well.)

[Anonymous]

Surrogacy is absolutely vile. There's a reason the rest of the civilized world had rejected the practice.

[Anonymous]

My sister carried twins for her friend. She loved it and said she will do it one more time. Her own pregnancy was easy and so were the twins, she said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are people out there who really love being pregnant and don’t find it all physically painful or unpleasant. Generally they are between the ages of 20 and 30.

My close friend from college is like that. Her body, her choice.

But are 20-30 year olds in the best position to evaluate risk? Science says no. Every pregnancy comes with risk and just because past pregnancies have been fine doesn’t mean future pregnancies will be. I had life threatening complications develop the day before my due date with my first. I was 31, had no prior medical issues, got pregnant with a BMI of 18 and gained 35 pounds…it was a text book great pregnancy until my liver and kidneys started failing at 39 weeks 6 days. I’m 5 weeks away from giving birth to my third and it may happen again even though it didn’t happen with my second. It’s very high risk even if you are young and in great shape.

A 30yo is not mature enough to evaluate risk?!

We allow 18yo to sign up for the military and serve in war.