Is it ethical to outsource pregnancy?

[Anonymous]

If you don’t have any medical reason to do so. I just don’t want to be pregnant again, gain weight and have to try to lose it again. have my body change permanently, give birth etc.

And I can easily afford a surrogate.

Would you do it in my situation?

[Anonymous]

Why do you care what others think?

[Anonymous]

Is she paid well? Not just for her physical contribution but fur what you know, as someone who has given birth, can be a serious emotional upheaval as well? Like paid really, really, really well?

Is she doing this truly consensually with no weird power imbalances? Or is she a desperate woman in a desperate situation. You can (and should) heavily vet surrogacy agencies to find out how they recruit.

If the answer to the above is yes, and you have a *perfect* surrogacy contract, I think it can be done ethically. The contract has a lot of details you need to u sweat and though. I wouldn’t do it unless/until you have walked through and u d’état and every provision and why it is there.

[Anonymous]

Babies start to bond with their mothers in the womb. So no.

[Anonymous]

If you pay a good wage for all the pregnancy hours.

$20/hr for every hour pregnant is ~ $130K.

Plus a bonus for child birth and more if they pump.

If you pay -$200K I’m cool with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Babies start to bond with their mothers in the womb. So no.

You don’t support adoption?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she paid well? Not just for her physical contribution but fur what you know, as someone who has given birth, can be a serious emotional upheaval as well? Like paid really, really, really well?

Is she doing this truly consensually with no weird power imbalances? Or is she a desperate woman in a desperate situation. You can (and should) heavily vet surrogacy agencies to find out how they recruit.

If the answer to the above is yes, and you have a *perfect* surrogacy contract, I think it can be done ethically. The contract has a lot of details you need to u sweat and though. I wouldn’t do it unless/until you have walked through and u d’état and every provision and why it is there.

Women still DIE from pregnancy and childbirth. Another person should risk their life bc OP doesn't want stretch marks??? Esp if the surrogate is a black women the odds are worse. Oh, wait. OP would never use a black surrogate never mind.

[Anonymous]

You need to seek therapy instead of a surrogate.

[Anonymous]

If the surrogate is well compensated and not coerced (including indirect coercion due to financial need), sure. Some women actually enjoy being pregnant and view surrogacy as a blessing they can offer others. (I know women like this.)

People on this thread jumping right to racism and impugning your parenting ability are nuts, ignore them.

[Anonymous]

sure why not. you are going to outsource raising your baby anyway. just try to remember what your baby looks like in case you forget

[Anonymous]

The surrogate’s cells will be inside your baby’s body forever. Your baby’s cells will be in the surrogate’s forever as well. Google microchimerism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she paid well? Not just for her physical contribution but fur what you know, as someone who has given birth, can be a serious emotional upheaval as well? Like paid really, really, really well?

Is she doing this truly consensually with no weird power imbalances? Or is she a desperate woman in a desperate situation. You can (and should) heavily vet surrogacy agencies to find out how they recruit.

If the answer to the above is yes, and you have a *perfect* surrogacy contract, I think it can be done ethically. The contract has a lot of details you need to u sweat and though. I wouldn’t do it unless/until you have walked through and u d’état and every provision and why it is there.

I agree with this, but I still wouldn't put another woman through it for vanity reasons. Given the inherent risks of pregnancy, even if a surrogate is paid well it seems really unethical to outsource because you don't want to gain/lose weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The surrogate’s cells will be inside your baby’s body forever. Your baby’s cells will be in the surrogate’s forever as well. Google microchimerism.

1. This is a relatively rare phenomenon, so definitely not true for all women and babies. Especially not the "forever" part.

2. So what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you don’t have any medical reason to do so. I just don’t want to be pregnant again, gain weight and have to try to lose it again. have my body change permanently, give birth etc.

And I can easily afford a surrogate.

Would you do it in my situation?

It is immoral and you are amoral. If I were your husband, I would divorce you and get 100% custody of children and never allow you to see them again

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she paid well? Not just for her physical contribution but fur what you know, as someone who has given birth, can be a serious emotional upheaval as well? Like paid really, really, really well?

Is she doing this truly consensually with no weird power imbalances? Or is she a desperate woman in a desperate situation. You can (and should) heavily vet surrogacy agencies to find out how they recruit.

If the answer to the above is yes, and you have a *perfect* surrogacy contract, I think it can be done ethically. The contract has a lot of details you need to u sweat and though. I wouldn’t do it unless/until you have walked through and u d’état and every provision and why it is there.

Women still DIE from pregnancy and childbirth. Another person should risk their life bc OP doesn't want stretch marks??? Esp if the surrogate is a black women the odds are worse. Oh, wait. OP would never use a black surrogate never mind.

Roofers DIE from falling off a roof. Another person should risk their life because OP doesn’t want to do her own roofing? Many, many jobs entail risk, which is baked into the requirements for taking that job. Women who have had or are likely to have high-risk pregnancies do not qualify to be surrogates.

Stop paternalistically telling surrogates what they can and can’t do with their bodies. Trust women to make their own decisions.