tell me about colleges that didn't make your kid's list

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:UVM - the liberal feel and the students' need to apply a label to everyone and put people into their defined groups so students and give preference to certain ones and not others.
LGBQTLMNOP yes -
Caucasian and heterosexual - back of the line. Your ancestors used up all your privledge.
.
The pressure to announce that you have a penis and want to be called he/him.

yuck

So a lot of colleges are off the table for someone so wounded by what has been pretty normal in society in general for years. LGBT groups are normal. Affinity groups are normal.

I’m guessing Hillsborough or Liberty are safe spaces for you.

Hillsborough?

They probably mean Hilldale.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:UVM - the liberal feel and the students' need to apply a label to everyone and put people into their defined groups so students and give preference to certain ones and not others.
LGBQTLMNOP yes -
Caucasian and heterosexual - back of the line. Your ancestors used up all your privledge.
.
The pressure to announce that you have a penis and want to be called he/him.

yuck

So a lot of colleges are off the table for someone so wounded by what has been pretty normal in society in general for years. LGBT groups are normal. Affinity groups are normal.

I’m guessing Hillsborough or Liberty are safe spaces for you.

Of course those groups are normal and no one is suggesting they shouldn't exist and play important roles in a school. But anyone who has been around college/university or even high schools lately knows the difference between inclusion and diversity and white man shaming.

The problem is, while some of those white men will stay progressive and supportive of diversity, a not-insignificant number are going to be turned off by it and will veer hard to the right.

Straight, white men have always had the most power in our society and that hasn't changed just because some marginalized groups are recognized. The phrase "white man shaming" is laughable. People in minority groups would laugh in your face if you complained to them about how hard it is to be a white man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Public high school in the close-in suburbs in Northern Virginia. School is about 70% white.

To be clear these are all very liberal, progressive kids. But yeah, they feel like they should apologize for being white, for being male, and just keep their heads down and not express opinions/thoughts at school. My son specifically does not want to go to a place where he feels like he's constantly pounded over the head with the idea that all white men are the root of all evil in America and around the world.

Then they are taking the wrong message away from what is being articulated.

This is messed up. My white son goes to a large Montgomery County school that is around 22% white and doesn’t feel that way at all. He wants a diverse college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Public high school in the close-in suburbs in Northern Virginia. School is about 70% white.

To be clear these are all very liberal, progressive kids. But yeah, they feel like they should apologize for being white, for being male, and just keep their heads down and not express opinions/thoughts at school. My son specifically does not want to go to a place where he feels like he's constantly pounded over the head with the idea that all white men are the root of all evil in America and around the world.

Then they are taking the wrong message away from what is being articulated.

This is messed up. My white son goes to a large Montgomery County school that is around 22% white and doesn’t feel that way at all. He wants a diverse college.

My DS in a NoVA public does not feel that he is "less than" because he is a white male, and has never been made to feel that way in his school, by his teachers or anyone else. He understands that some groups are oppressed and he does not take this statement personally. I suspect boys that feel this way are being MADE to feel this way by their more conservative parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Public high school in the close-in suburbs in Northern Virginia. School is about 70% white.

To be clear these are all very liberal, progressive kids. But yeah, they feel like they should apologize for being white, for being male, and just keep their heads down and not express opinions/thoughts at school. My son specifically does not want to go to a place where he feels like he's constantly pounded over the head with the idea that all white men are the root of all evil in America and around the world.

Then they are taking the wrong message away from what is being articulated.

This is messed up. My white son goes to a large Montgomery County school that is around 22% white and doesn’t feel that way at all. He wants a diverse college.

My DS in a NoVA public does not feel that he is "less than" because he is a white male, and has never been made to feel that way in his school, by his teachers or anyone else. He understands that some groups are oppressed and he does not take this statement personally. I suspect boys that feel this way are being MADE to feel this way by their more conservative parents.

Wrong again. Not every kids winds up feeling this way, but some do. Isn't that the whole reason why have initiatives to make sure we are being inclusive to all? As has been and will be evidenced regularly in this forum, it very important to say that children who feel marginalized are wrong and undeserving of compassion if those children are white and male. These children are to blame and should be shamed for their feelings. Could they be interpreting the messages incorrectly? Absolutely. Why is it ok for anyone to say that their feelings are invalid and that they deserve no compassion?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I've got two straight white boys in NoVA public schools and this is not the case. Kids do debate in class and have differing opinions on things of course. But in my experience, what is more the case is that there are increasing social media accounts that are "grooming" nerdy young white boys to see the world this way (my kids have told me about it and have even shown me sample humor/gaming that drew them in initially and then started introducing more alt-right, white male grievance kind of content). If I were PP I would take a look, bc it can lead to some dark places (unless you're just trying to "stir the grievance pot" too.

This is interesting and scary. Thank you for sharing. I guess it's how those extremist groups recruit - convince these kids that they are being targeted and encourage them to find support in the group? I had no idea gaming was a tool in that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I've got two straight white boys in NoVA public schools and this is not the case. Kids do debate in class and have differing opinions on things of course. But in my experience, what is more the case is that there are increasing social media accounts that are "grooming" nerdy young white boys to see the world this way (my kids have told me about it and have even shown me sample humor/gaming that drew them in initially and then started introducing more alt-right, white male grievance kind of content). If I were PP I would take a look, bc it can lead to some dark places (unless you're just trying to "stir the grievance pot" too.

This is interesting and scary. Thank you for sharing. I guess it's how those extremist groups recruit - convince these kids that they are being targeted and encourage them to find support in the group? I had no idea gaming was a tool in that.

I have no idea whether this is out there are not, as I know nothing about right-wing media. I can tell you that this is a real issue, and it is less about grievances and right-wing ideology and more about how you exhibit respect and understanding for marginalized groups while continuing to develop a healthy and confident sense of self when the group you fit into is demonized. It's not a crazy white male right-wing thing. It's a normal issue that young men who are being raised to be respectful listeners have to work through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Public high school in the close-in suburbs in Northern Virginia. School is about 70% white.

To be clear these are all very liberal, progressive kids. But yeah, they feel like they should apologize for being white, for being male, and just keep their heads down and not express opinions/thoughts at school. My son specifically does not want to go to a place where he feels like he's constantly pounded over the head with the idea that all white men are the root of all evil in America and around the world.

Then they are taking the wrong message away from what is being articulated.

This is messed up. My white son goes to a large Montgomery County school that is around 22% white and doesn’t feel that way at all. He wants a diverse college.

My DS in a NoVA public does not feel that he is "less than" because he is a white male, and has never been made to feel that way in his school, by his teachers or anyone else. He understands that some groups are oppressed and he does not take this statement personally. I suspect boys that feel this way are being MADE to feel this way by their more conservative parents.

Wrong again. Not every kids winds up feeling this way, but some do. Isn't that the whole reason why have initiatives to make sure we are being inclusive to all? As has been and will be evidenced regularly in this forum, it very important to say that children who feel marginalized are wrong and undeserving of compassion if those children are white and male. These children are to blame and should be shamed for their feelings. Could they be interpreting the messages incorrectly? Absolutely. Why is it ok for anyone to say that their feelings are invalid and that they deserve no compassion?

Not "wrong again". just sharing my kids experience, as you may have shared yours. Never did I invalidate any kids experience, just don't agree with lumping in an entire part of the state or school system because that is clearly not what is happening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Public high school in the close-in suburbs in Northern Virginia. School is about 70% white.

To be clear these are all very liberal, progressive kids. But yeah, they feel like they should apologize for being white, for being male, and just keep their heads down and not express opinions/thoughts at school. My son specifically does not want to go to a place where he feels like he's constantly pounded over the head with the idea that all white men are the root of all evil in America and around the world.

Then they are taking the wrong message away from what is being articulated.

This is messed up. My white son goes to a large Montgomery County school that is around 22% white and doesn’t feel that way at all. He wants a diverse college.

My DS in a NoVA public does not feel that he is "less than" because he is a white male, and has never been made to feel that way in his school, by his teachers or anyone else. He understands that some groups are oppressed and he does not take this statement personally. I suspect boys that feel this way are being MADE to feel this way by their more conservative parents.

Wrong again. Not every kids winds up feeling this way, but some do. Isn't that the whole reason why have initiatives to make sure we are being inclusive to all? As has been and will be evidenced regularly in this forum, it very important to say that children who feel marginalized are wrong and undeserving of compassion if those children are white and male. These children are to blame and should be shamed for their feelings. Could they be interpreting the messages incorrectly? Absolutely. Why is it ok for anyone to say that their feelings are invalid and that they deserve no compassion?

Not "wrong again". just sharing my kids experience, as you may have shared yours. Never did I invalidate any kids experience, just don't agree with lumping in an entire part of the state or school system because that is clearly not what is happening.

Ok, then we are in complete agreement.

[Anonymous]

but boy oh boy it would be nice to get this thread back on track!

[Anonymous]

Marquette. She axed colleges in big cities far away from home when narrowing down her list

[Anonymous]

Case Western just didn’t have a happy campusy vibe for my kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Public high school in the close-in suburbs in Northern Virginia. School is about 70% white.

To be clear these are all very liberal, progressive kids. But yeah, they feel like they should apologize for being white, for being male, and just keep their heads down and not express opinions/thoughts at school. My son specifically does not want to go to a place where he feels like he's constantly pounded over the head with the idea that all white men are the root of all evil in America and around the world.

Then they are taking the wrong message away from what is being articulated.

Excuse me, but who are you to say that? You have no idea what is being articulated and you don't decide for other people how they interpret what they hear.

Geeze.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Case Western just didn’t have a happy campusy vibe for my kid.

My child attended a virtual information session last week with Case Western. One of the things we both noticed was that only one student on the panel appeared happy. The others were so detached and it felt like they were role playing. Something was so off about the presentation. Also, there was a question posed about the safety of Case Western. Two of the students got defensive with their responses. The virtual encounter turned my child off from visiting Case Western in person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I've got two straight white boys in NoVA public schools and this is not the case. Kids do debate in class and have differing opinions on things of course. But in my experience, what is more the case is that there are increasing social media accounts that are "grooming" nerdy young white boys to see the world this way (my kids have told me about it and have even shown me sample humor/gaming that drew them in initially and then started introducing more alt-right, white male grievance kind of content). If I were PP I would take a look, bc it can lead to some dark places (unless you're just trying to "stir the grievance pot" too.

This is interesting and scary. Thank you for sharing. I guess it's how those extremist groups recruit - convince these kids that they are being targeted and encourage them to find support in the group? I had no idea gaming was a tool in that.

Then watch this on Netflix - I thought everyone watched it at the beginning of the pandemic - apparently not - The Social Dilemma - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uaaC57tcci0